Songs You Know by Heart 2: Hands to Heaven by JR (JRR42@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: Jim, Blair, Simon, and everyone else you recognize are owned by UPN and Pet Fly Productions are used without their permission. Hands to Heaven by Breathe also used without permission. This story is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights, nor is any profit being made from it. I would like to thank saraid, Pumpkin, and Jeana for their valient beta reading efforts. Thanks also to Bert for the lyrics. This story is the sequel of Songs You Know by Heart: More Than Words. It picks up a little before MTW ended, and is more from Jim's perspective. And, yup, there be sex in them thar pages -- so if you weren't alive before M-TV started broadcasting, take a hike. // // Indicates song lyrics The alley was damp and so dark he could barely see the other end 100 yards distant. Wait, something was wrong here. His senses were gone again. Shit, not now! Not when Blair could be in danger. Without his enhanced hearing, he couldn't track his Guide's heartbeat. Where was he? 'Oh God, please let me find him,' he pleaded silently. Twisting around desperately, he tried in vain to find the younger man. Suddenly, a loud shot rang out, the volume magnified by the acoustics of the narrow alley. Less than a second later, a cry from behind him overpowered the echo of the gun discharge. As he turned around, the sight of his guide, laying unmoving on the pavement, made his stomach lurch. "Sandburg!" he screamed as he ran to the fallen man. Dropping to his knees beside the prone figure, he applied pressure to the bloody hole in Blair's chest. When he looked into the face of the younger man, he saw his expressive blue eyes begin to dilate with shock and pain as tears began to slip from them. "No, Blair, no. Stay with me here, Chief. Don't leave me," he begged. The scent of saline assaulted his nose. Were his senses coming back online? No, just smell. He could see his Guide's lips moving softly, as his life's blood was pumping out of the wound. Blair didn't have enough air in his damaged lungs to increase the volume. Then the movement of his lips stopped. So did his heartbeat. Without his Sentinel hearing, Blair's dying words to him had been lost. With the realization came the agony. The oppressive silence was broken with a heartbreaking wail. "NOOOOO!" **************** Jim Ellison woke with a start, sweaty and gasping for breath. Instinctively he searched the loft for the familiar presence of his Guide, tuning out the soft music in the background to find the comforting sound of the young anthropologist's heartbeat. Jim let the rhythmic noise wash over him as he tried to make sense of his nightmare. 'Damn it! Not again.' he thought to himself. The dreams had begun two months ago, around the same time that Blair had accepted the position at Eastern Virginia College. It wasn't his Guide's fault, Jim had practically done everything short of handing his roommate an engraved invitation to accept the job. He didn't want the best friend he had ever had moving all the way across the country, but Blair's career would suffer if he stayed in Cascade, and that was something his Blessed Protector would not allow. 'Blair Sandburg's Blessed Protector. Not just a job, but an adventure.' Jim thought with a mental smirk. God knows that his Guide needed to be looked after, the younger man attracted trouble like nobody's business. However, Jim Ellison had managed to fulfill the role that fate had handed him. There were times over the past few years the Sentinel had been sure that he would fail Blair and allow him to be killed. Each instance had scared him, increasing exponentially his protective instincts concerning the younger man. But no past event had ever brought the feeling of overwhelming dread that had been building over the past two months. The thought of not having Blair Sandburg at his side scared the hell out of Jim Ellison, and now that fear was about to see the cold light of day. Despite Blair's belief to the contrary, Jim was perfectly capable of analyzing his own dreams, a task he now performed. Some of it was simple. As the date of his Guide's departure had drawn closer, Jim had begun to have more and more problems with his senses. It had happened before, usually when the Sentinel was overly upset about something. All his life, Jim had always been taught to carefully hide his feelings; by his father, in the military, and as a cop. While his roommate might have been the King of Obfuscation, the older man was the reigning World Champion of Emotional Wallbuilding. Sometimes though, when the strain was too much, cracks would appear and the first thing to slip through would be his control over his Sentinel abilities. At first, Jim had thought the small zone-outs were flukes. After all, it had been a long time since he had suffered from them. Recently Blair had been spending less time in the field with him and the number of zone-outs had grown rapidly. A few weeks ago, his sense of hearing had faded out altogether, only to return when his roommate showed up at the station to take him to lunch. After a few more similar incidents, Jim was able to determine that the temporary losses were directly related to the absence of his Guide. True to his nature, Jim dealt with the problem by not acknowledging that there was one. Deep down, the detective knew if Blair found out what was happening with his senses, the younger man would never leave Cascade. Since his new partner, Brian Ryf, was not yet familiar enough with the Sentinel's abilities, Jim had been able to convince the younger detective that the lapses were common events for him. With Ryf's unknowing assistance, Jim had for the most part been able to keep his losses of control hidden from Blair. However, the detective's subconscious obviously did not agree with his decision. In his dream Blair had been killed because the younger man had been depending on Jim's abilities to protect him. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on with you." How many times had the anthropologist said those words to him when they had first started working together? It had been so hard for Jim to learn to trust the younger man. How could he hand over control to the energetic long haired wanna-be-hippie student? Jim had tried to frighten him off, playing the asshole cop role to the hilt; yet Blair had stayed, proving himself time and again by taking everything that had been thrown at him and coming back for more. In his heart, the Sentinel knew he was doing his Guide a great disservice by keeping him in the dark about the lapses of his abilities, but as a friend Jim knew he had no choice but to let Blair go his own way. Jim had also missed Blair's last words in his dream. What did that mean? What were they, he wondered? Was he pleading for help? Reprimanding his Blessed Protector for failing him? A farewell to his friend? Or perhaps it was his punishment for allowing his Guide to be killed. The Sentinel left behind to always wonder what had been spoken. And what about the tears, why had he been able to smell them? Jim sighed heavily. In the back of his mind he processed the different scents in the air he had just inhaled. Chili, spilled beer from last night's party, Blair, cleaners, salt, faint traces of incense. 'Wait, salt?' he thought. Focusing, he discovered the source of the odor. Blair had been crying. Worried, Jim rose silently from his bed. Not wanting to take the time to grab his robe, the detective padded down the steps wearing only his boxers shorts. Allowing a second for his enhanced sight to adjust to the dim light in the room, he found his Guide looking out the windows of the balcony door. Jim stood and silently observed his roommate for a few moments. The detective could not recall another time where he ever seen the anthropologist so still. No matter what circumstances he was in, the younger man was constantly in motion. Jim had grown accustomed to Blair's excessive energy. It was only one of many things he would miss about his friend. The smell of saline was much stronger than it had been a few minutes ago. Using the glass as a mirror, Jim could see the glistening wet streaks running down Blair's cheeks. The younger man had his arms wrapped around his chest, as if comforting himself from the knowledge that he was leaving in morning. The sight made the Sentinel's heart constrict in sympathy and without thinking about what he was doing, Jim moved forward quietly. As he crossed the room, his gaze never leaving the reflection of his roommate's face in the window. Reaching his destination, he placed his hands on the smaller man's shoulders, relishing the warmth radiating up to his palms. Blair must not have heard or seen Jim coming because he started at the touch. The Sentinel listened as his Guide's heartbeat spiked momentarily, yet he did not acknowledge the presence of the man behind him. In the pseudo mirror Jim noted that the tears had stopped, and Blair's pulse was slowly returning to it's normal rhythm. However, the smoky blue eyes still remained fixed on some distant point in the bay. In a desire to give comfort to his friend, Jim squeezed the flesh beneath his palms, and was rewarded when the tense muscles started to relax. Intrigued by the feeling, the Sentinel began kneading his Guide's shoulders. As the tension started to drain out of his body, Blair sought out the other man's reflection in the window. Whatever he saw there was enough to bring a gentle smile his face, but it was not enough to chase the sadness from the deep blue eyes. While the soft music continued to play in the background, the smaller man leaned back into the wall of muscle that was Jim's chest. Without hesitation the older man rested his chin on top of the Blair's head, allowing the soft tendrils of hair to tickle his chin. Never before had he been so aware of his Guide's scent; a combination of herbal shampoo, deodorant, and Blair's own natural musk. The Sentinel breathed deeply in an attempt to memorize the alluring combination of smells wafting to his nose. Jim once again sought out the reflection in the window. 'How well we fit together,' he thought to himself. They couldn't have been more different physically; large, bulk and muscle vs. small, compact and lean; long and short hair; one face capable of remaining completely blank, the other so expressive it was not capable of concealing the simplest of emotions. Even the eyes were two completely different shades of blue. Their personalities were polar opposites as well. Calm, stoic Jim and the effervescent, friendly Blair. Yet, it was these same differences that bonded them together so deeply, halves of a whole, puzzle pieces that complemented and completed each other. It had taken the detective almost forty years to find the other half of his soul, and tomorrow morning he was going to lose it again. He wondered which one of Blair's gods he had upset to earn this painful twist of fate. At this moment, though, he was still complete. Wanting to hold on to that feeling a little longer, Jim moved his arms down to cover Blair's in a double hug. Both men sighed deeply in contentment. They remained that way until the last notes of the guitar faded out. Jim felt a quick rush of warm air against his arms, as Blair laughed ruefullly at the irony of the new song that had begun playing. After a few bars of music, the smaller man began swaying almost imperceptibly in time with the beat. Jim felt his nerves jump as Blair's movements brushed his smaller form against the larger body behind him. Wanting to amplify the almost hypnotic sensation, the older man let his own body sway in tandem with Blair's. //As I watch you move, across the moonlight room There's so much tenderness in your loving// Even through the two shirts that separated their flesh, Jim could feel Blair's heat. In the background, he could hear the familiar heartbeat. It had actually slowed down since Jim had begun holding him. The calming effect he had on his friend surprised the older man. Shifting slightly, the younger man pulled his arms out from under Jim's and placed his hands gently on the larger man's forearms. Automatically, the Sentinel adjusted to the new position by tightening his grip around his Guide's chest, bringing every inch of flesh from his chest to his thighs into contact with the smaller man. After a brief moment, he felt Blair begin to tenderly stroke the bare flesh under his fingers. //Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve God give me strength when I am leaving// Feeling Blair's body tense at the lyrics, Jim's gaze quickly shifted to the ghostly image in the window. The younger man's eyes had closed tightly as grimace of pain spread across his features. The gentle swaying was replaced by tiny shivers running through Blair's compact body. Wanting desperately to soothe away the obvious hurt the words had created, the Sentinel urged his Guide to turn and face him. Blair shifted around keeping his head at the same downward tilt it had been at. His open hands ended up on the lower part of the larger man's ribcage. With only inches between their bodies, Jim was forced to lean back slightly to get a good look at the man before him. //Tonight I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness Tonight you calm my restlessness, you relieve my sadness// Because of the angle of Blair's head, stray locks of his long dark hair obscured his face. A sudden need to see his Guide's expressive features overwhelmed the Sentinel. Slowly, he moved a hand from Blair's back to his chin. The touch alone was enough to make the younger man raise his head just enough to force his hair back. Blair slowly raised his gaze, and Jim bit back a gasp as the smoky blue eyes met his own from under a vail of thick lashes. Caught in the magical spell being woven by the song, Sentinel and Guide stood unmoving, simply staring at each other. With that one look, volumes were spoken. //As we move to embrace, tears run down your face I whisper words of love so softly// The intensity of the moment pushed Blair past his emotional breaking point, and once again tears came to his eyes. Jim was mesmerized at how the moisture refracted the dim light in the room, turning the normal deep blue into a vibrant shade of turquoise. Fascinated, the Sentinel watched as the wetness accumulated and formed a large, perfect teardrop. It seemed to cling to the long, lower lashes for an eternity before gravity forced it to fall. Jim followed its course down Blair's cheek, his enhanced sense of touch feeling the hot moisture impact with the hand he had never removed from Blair's jaw. Shifting his fingers, the older man used his thumb to erase the wet trail that had been left behind by the tear's journey. Jim brought his other hand up and duplicated the motion on the other cheek. //I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane Without your touch, life will be lonely// The younger man's expressive face tilted upward, seeking more contact with the warm exploring hands. Jim's brought his fingers up to rest on Blair's high cheekbones. The older man took in the contrasting sensations of the scratchy stubble and the softer, longer hair trimmed into sideburns. //Tonight I need your sweet caress Hold me in the darkness Tonight you calm my restlessness You relieve my sadness// The Sentinel could feel small sensual rushes of warm air against his own face. He glanced down to find the pouting lips of his Guide's mouth slightly opened, and was taken in by the sight. When Blair saw where Jim was looking, his breathing quickened. Moving as one, their mouths came together. The first kiss was nothing more than a gentle brush of lips against lips. It was not enough. Jim's hands held Blair's face steady as he repeated the gesture with more pressure. The smaller man responded with a groan, his hands reflexively squeezing the hard flesh of Jim's abs. Blair's tongue came forward just enough to tease Jim's upper lip, then hesitated as if unsure any further distance would be welcome. Lost in the blissful sensation, the Sentinel parted his lips in an invitation his Guide rapidly accepted. As the tongues met and explored each other, the taste of Blair exploded into Jim's mouth. The kiss continued until both men broke apart desperate for air. The sounds of two rapidly beating hearts echoed in the Sentinel's ears, as he noticed for the first time his burgeoning erection. His eyes opened slowly to see his Guide standing before him with passion glazed eyes. 'He's beautiful...He? Oh shit! What am I doing?' The thought brought him abruptly back into reality. He, Jim Ellison, had been kissing another man; not just any man, but his Guide and best friend, Blair Sandburg. Never in his waking memory could Jim recall *ever* wanting to be with another man. The detective knew that he loved his partner, platonically. Hell, he couldn't even *say* it to Sandburg, yet here he was with the taste of Blair on his lips and raging hard-on. 'What in the *hell* am I doing?' he asked himself. Unaware of Jim's mental debate, Blair slowly raised a hand to his own mouth, gently running his fingers over his own kiss-swollen lips. A look of astonishment appeared on his ever expressive face as he raised his eyes to meet those of his Sentinel. Jim was taken aback by the younger man's wild heart beat. 'Judging by the look on his face, this must have been as much of a surprise to Sandburg as it was to me. Can I do this? Can I actually find pleasure with another man?' he wondered silently. 'But it's not just any other man, it's Blair.' The Sentinel realized that his Guide was staring at him so he focused his eyes, amazed at the passion he saw directed at him. Blair wanted this as much as he did. How long had this sexual desire been there, lurking just outside of conscious thought? //Morning has come another day I must my bags and say goodbye, goodbye// The song playing in the background had basically been ignored for the past few minutes as the Sentinel was lost in his internal struggle, but now the word 'goodbye' registered in his thoughts. Suddenly Jim was reminded that Blair would be gone in the morning. 'Lastchancelastchancelastchance,' echoed through his mind. //Tonight I need your sweet caress Hold me in the darkness// The younger man's hand was trembling as it traveled slowly from his own lips to Jim's face and hesitantly stroked a cheek in an unspoken question. When no answer was forthcoming, he daringly pressed forward and molded his body to the larger man's. With that one single action the fierce mental struggle between hopes and fears came to an abrupt conclusion as Blair's proximity wreaked havoc on Jim's senses. The Sentinel was lost, wanting nothing more than to forever imprint every square inch of Blair Sandburg in his memory. With a heady rush of desire, Jim brought his mouth down in a demanding kiss which the younger man responded to in kind. As tongues dueled for supremacy, the Sentinel could feel his once flagging erection swell to painful proportions. //Tonight you calm my restlessness You relieve my sadness// The kisses continued until the last notes of the song faded away, but the spell that the haunting music had cast kept both men firmly in its grasp. Blair's hands, which had been exploring the vast expanse of Jim's back, slid downward to gently caress the firm muscles of his ass. With his own hands tangled in the long curly locks at the nape of his Guide's neck, the Sentinel closed the distance between their bodies by leaning the smaller man back. The movement evened out the difference in their heights and allowed their erections to touch through the cloth that separated them. Wanting more of the sweet contact, Blair pulled the older man's pelvis towards his own. Jim groaned at the sensation and began gentle rubbing his aching erection against Blair's. Breaking his mouth away, the panting Sentinel lowered his head and kissed his way from his Guide's lips to his ear. He could feel goose flesh rise up on Blair's neck as he worked his tongue between the silver hoops, followed closely by a shiver as he took the entire lobe, earrings and all, and worried it with his lips and teeth. The younger man had thrown his head back inviting his Sentinel's talented mouth to work it's magic on his throat. Alternating between soft kisses, warm licks, and sharp bites, Jim worked his way across the heated flesh. Jim's hands weren't idle as they unbuttoned the soft flannel shirt his Guide was wearing. Once undone, Blair quickly shrugged himself out of the garment, but he was forced to step back to remove his cotton undershirt. Jim took the opportunity to study the newly revealed flesh. The sight of Blair's chest was not new to him, after all, he had seen it often over four years they had lived together, but he had never looked at it with desire -- until now. Blair was solidly built for someone of his size. Tan nipples, hard from the slight chill in the room, were visible through the mat of dark hair that tapered down as it reached his navel. Jim wondered how it would feel to run his fingers across it, and gave in to his urge. He placed his fingers just under the smaller man's collar bones where the line of downy hair began and discovered that the skin was softer than he expected. His palms flattened against the warm skin and moved downward. Blair sucked in a sharp breath as Jim's hands brushed across his erect nipples, then released the air in a moan when the older man returned his fingers to gently pinch the nubs. At the stimulation the already hard nipples tightened even more. The Sentinel noticed the change with his sense of touch. He focused on the soft flesh, noticing the minute differences between each bud, most noticeably the pierce marks on the left one. Under the skin, he could feel flowing blood, muscle, and the reverberation of the rapid heartbeat that was keeping time with his own. Wanting to return the intense sensations of pleasure that his Sentinel was giving him, Blair began his own expedition on Jim's smooth chest. A resounding groan echoed off the walls of the loft as Blair's fingers came into contact with the hard heated flesh. The Sentinel jerked violently as Blair lowered his mouth and began to suckle one of the flat nipples. As the teasing tongue began to lave the rapidly hardening flesh, he could do nothing but groan while he slid his hands into Blair's silky long hair. A hand moved gently across his sensitized chest until it reached the other bud that was screaming for attention. Using his thumb and middle fingers to roll the nub, Blair softly ran his index finger across the top, letting the contrasting sensations drive the Sentinel wild. "Chief," Jim moaned in husky whisper. The barrage of stimulation was too much for Jim. Placing his hands on both of Blair's arms, he gently urged the smaller man upwards. The older man gasped as he met the lust filled eyes, so dilated that only a sliver of deep blue was visible around the engorged pupil. The sight was enough to fuel the fire that raged within him to a blistering inferno. Pulling Blair's mouth to his own, he let his hand follow the arrow of hair towards the younger man's waist until it came to rest on his Guide's swollen erection. Jim gently began to rub the hard flesh, loving the feeling of warmth that spread through his palm, increasing his own fire. He was burning with need, wanting to feel more of his Guide's flesh without the cloth barrier keeping them apart. Jim moved his hand upward to unbutton the jeans and boxers that separated him from his goal, sliding them easily down and waited as Blair stepped out of them. Only then did his gaze fall, taking in the wondrous sight of his Guide's erection. Truth be told, he had overheard some of the women at the precinct speculate before, especially when the younger man wore that one pair of khaki pants with a tucked-in shirt, but he had never felt inclined to wonder himself. He should have, he realized; Jim was impressed. Never before had he considered an erection to be beautiful, but seeing his Guide's arousal rising from the mat of dark hair triggered a lustful wave of desire through the Sentinel's body. Reaching down with a tentative hand, Jim softly brushed the aching flesh. Blair's groan echoed in his ears, while the bitter salty scent of pre-cum filled his nose. He noticed the heat pouring off the tender flesh; along with every ridge, every vein, even the flow of the blood racing through the vessels just underneath the skin. The sudden movement under his fingers startled him until he realized that Blair had begun to undulate his hips, desperately needing more stimulation. The older man was only too happy to fulfill his silent request. Lubrication. He would need some lubrication. The Sentinel heard Blair's heartbeat race as he watched Jim slowly bring up a hand to his own mouth and lick each finger to leave a glistening trail of saliva behind. The passion darkened blue eyes closed as Jim reached down and gently ran a single slick digit down the erection he so greatly desired. "Oh god," Blair gasped as he helplessly thrust forward seeking more contact. Jim grasped the cock softly between two fingers and his thumb, and began running them up and down the flesh in a slow steady rhythm. Blair moaned continuously as he began to mindlessly move against the hand giving him so much pleasure. As the already swollen flesh grew under his touch, Jim realized just how close to the edge the younger man was. The short moans melted into a long wail as the older man used his free hand to cup Blair's sac, gently rolling the balls it held. One. Two. Three sharp thrusts and his Guide was swept away as he cried out Jim's name. The Sentinel could feel the hot liquid spilling onto his hand and stomach. As the younger man's legs gave out in the aftermath of his explosive orgasm, Jim caught him around the waist and held him upright. Rather than sink to the floor with his sweaty, shaking Guide; the Sentinel hooked an arm under Blair and carried him through the French doors to his bedroom. By the time he placed the younger man on the small bed, Blair was already beginning to revive. ****************** Standing by the edge of the mattress, Jim took in the sight before him. Blair's long curls resting gently on the pillow, his body glowing from the sheen of perspiration, his chest still rising and falling rapidly; but it was the expression of total loving devotion on his face that took Jim's breath away. How could he never have noticed just how beautiful his Guide was? Why did they wait four long years to reach this point? And why in the hell had he been so worried about it earlier? His thought process was interrupted by a throbbing pain coming from his still unsatisfied erection trapped within the confines of his boxer shorts. Blair must have seen his discomfort because he flashed Jim a Mona Lisa smile as he moved to kneel on the bed in front of his Sentinel. While placing small burning kisses along the broad shoulders of the larger man, his hands gently traveled downwards to remove the offending garments that confined Jim's erection. Once the boxers had fallen down around Jim's ankles, Blair began to stroke Jim's hard cock while his warm tongue lapped up what remained of his spilled semen on his Sentinel's muscular abdomen. It wasn't long before the soft licks changed to a rain of kisses and small, playful bites. Reaching out with his senses, Jim found every one of them filled with his Guide; the top of his head bobbing as he continued to shower nips and kisses, his hands working in a gentle rhythm, the sweet scent of Blair's seed, and the lingering taste from their earlier kisses. He was barely aware of the gentle nudges to pick up his feet as his boxers were removed and thrown aside, overwhelmed by the burning desire to feel that pouting mouth sliding over his straining cock. As if reading his mind, Blair leaned downward, but froze as his eyes were filled with the sight of the older man's weeping arousal. Noticing the hesitation, it took every ounce of Jim's famous control not to grab his Guide's head and take his mouth by force. That train of thought met a quick death as the younger man looked up at him. Jim's heart melted as he saw the fear and uncertainty in Blair's expression, only to be replaced by embarrassment. "I...I've never done this before," he whispered so quietly that even Jim's enhanced hearing could barely pick it up. "It's okay, Chief," Jim answered softly, trying in vain to cover the disappointment he felt at the thought of not experiencing that beautiful mouth. The younger man must have seen through his words because his face was suddenly filled with determination. "No, it's not." With that said, Blair leaned in and ran tip of his tongue along the red crown of Jim's cock. The salty taste of pre-come exploded across his taste buds as he heard the older man moan in pure pleasure. Blair was encouraged by the noise and parted his lips to take the head into his mouth. As he rubbed his tongue along the sloping ridge, he was rewarded with a wailing cry of "Oh God, Blair!" Blair felt Jim's hands grip the top of his head tightly as he convulsively began to thrust his hips, lost in the overwhelming need to drive his cock deeper into the younger man's mouth. Not prepared for the assault, his Guide choked once before grabbing his Sentinel's hips in his hands and holding them still. When Jim's frantic movements stopped, Blair rewarded him by allowing a few more inches of the pulsing shaft to pass through his full lips. New at the delicate art of felletio, Blair was worried that he wasn't doing it right. Taking a deep breath, he tried remember his own personal preferences from past experiences with girlfriends and attempted to duplicate that which had been done to him. The younger man used Jim's moans and spasmatic twitches to judge which actions the Sentinel preferred. "Oh god...yes...yes," Jim groaned as Blair's tongue began to sweep from side to side along his pulsing shaft. The Sentinel felt a white haze cloud his mind when the younger man placed a hand on the base of his cock and squeezed, keeping in rhythm with the actions of his mouth. The sweet pressure of the pouting lips and stroking hand pulled him closer and closer to the edge of insanity. Jim actually felt pain as he tried desperately to remember not to thrust. He was vaguely aware of Blair's other hand squeezing the firm flesh of his ass until he felt a single finger begin to brush against the sensitive opening to his body. The younger man's confidence was bolstered when he realized that Jim was involuntarily pushing back against the warm diget. Moving the hand upwards, he put the finger to his Sentinel's lips. Jim curled his tongue around and pulled in into the warm wet cavern of his mouth. He relished the erotic feeling as Blair's groan reverberated along his hard cock. The hand was removed and the Sentinel forgot about it as he focused his attention on the hot mouth sucking him. An eternity later, Jim felt a dull pressure as the slippery finger entered his anus. He was surprised to find no pain, only a sweet feeling of pleasure as Blair began to gently stroke farther and farther into his ass. The dual sensations to his member and his passage were too much and Jim's whole body began to shake as his control slipped away. White heat rose from his groin and spread upwards as he reached for his climax. "Oh Christ...Chief...gonna ...oh...god...can't...stop...coming..." he warned the younger man. Stars formed in front of Jim's eyes as his climax overtook him. He could feel Blair swallowing repeating, as if desperate not to lose a single drop of his warm semen. The Sentinel drifted slowly away from reality. "Jim. Come on, Jim." He came back to find himself lying on Blair's small bed. His Guide was tenderly stroking his arm from wrist to elbow, seemingly unworried. He knew that he hadn't passed out, maybe he had zoned. "What happened? Did I zone?" he asked. His voice sounded rusty. Bright blue eyes met his. "No, man, I don't think so. You responded to me when I told you to lie down. That was some..." he trailed off, not quite sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Is it always like that for you?" Jim chuckled. "Fishing for compliments there, Chief?" he teased. "No. I...well, I've just never experienced anything that intense before," he finished softly. "Oh." Both men remained silent for a time, trying to comprehend and process what had just taken place. Still out of it from the world-shattering intensity of his orgasm, the Sentinel gave up and just let his mind wander. His silent rest was disturbed by his Guide's not so subtle squirming. He was about to ask what the problem was when Blair shifted slightly and the younger man's erection brush against his muscular thigh. Jim was amazed to feel his own body responding so soon after his previous mind-blowing explosion. The Sentinel pulled the smaller man into his arms so that they were laying on their sides, face-to-face. The taste of his own semen greeted him when he kissed Blair softly. It only took a few minutes for tender kisses to rapidly escalate to fierce forays into each other's mouths. Holding each other tightly, their erections were trapped together between their grinding pelvises. The sweet pleasure was quickly becoming too much for Blair. Using one hand to cradle the back of the older man's head, he spoke in a husky tone. "I want you." Jim's pale blue eyes widened impossibly. He could do nothing but stare into the eyes grown deep with passion; while his mind raced; weighing the enormity of the act for which Blair was requesting permission. His Guide wanted to fuck him. 'No, that's not fair, with Blair it would be making love,' he mentally corrected himself. The strange thing was, while he could see himself pumping away at the younger man, he couldn't even picture being taken *by* him. In every sexual encounter he had ever had, Jim Ellison had always been the one to call the shots. It was a matter of control, and therefore by extension, a matter of trust. Could he now surrender himself to Blair? 'Of course I can,' he realized. Blair Sandburg was his Guide, the one person he trusted with his life, his sanity, his abilities, his friendship, and now his body. After four years, trusting Blair was as necessary to him as drawing breath. The younger man was gazing at him expectantly while he ran his fingers through the short hair on the back of the older man's head. Jim felt his Guide's heartbeat spike when the Sentinel answered. "Yes." It came out in a whisper, but there was no mistaking the steel and determination behind the word. Oh yes, he did want this. Taking Jim's hand, Blair rose from the mattress. Two arms stretched out as far as they could as the younger man reached for the packed overnight bag that rested on a nearby chair; fumbling around in it until he found what he was seeking. Jim saw him extract a small bottle of oil as moved gracefully back into bed. Blair leaned forward and claimed a tender kiss before he sat back and flipped open the lid. Jim's voice was breathy as he spoke. "Have you ever done this before?" "Yes, with women," his Guide answered. The knowledge was reassuring to the Sentinel, but his whole body was still tense with nervousness. Blair poured some of the oil into his hand before running it down the larger man's breastbone. Feeling the coiled muscles his hands retreated upwards and began a gentle massage of Jim's chest and arms. Alternating between strong and soothing, the younger man's hands managed to chase the tension from the detective's body. Once his task was completed, Blair turned his attention to the one remaining tight muscle. Jim groaned as he felt the younger man take his swollen erection in hand. The oil that still remained on the fingers and palms increased the Sentinel's pleasure as Blair stroked slowly. It wasn't long before Jim once again noticed a slick finger entering his ass; only this time he endured the sensation silently due to his nervousness. Always observant, Blair had been prepared for this reaction. The younger man leaned over and took one of Jim's nipples into his mouth. The Sentinel's attention was now divided between the fingers on his cock and in his ass, as well as the moist, hot tongue laving his chest. The distraction worked. Jim was moaning softly, his pelvis rocking back and forth between the two hands torturing him with infinite patience. The Sentinel felt his Guide work a second oily diget into his hot passage. Blair twisted his fingers in order to stretch out the tight ring of muscle that guarded the entrance. The Sentinel saw fireworks behind his closed eyes as his Guide accidentally brushed against his prostate. Noting the older man's reaction, Blair repeated the motion twice more before adding a third finger. Any discomfort Jim felt was short in duration before it was replaced by pure unadulterated sexual desire. As the younger man continued to stroke his fingers in and out, Jim felt a strange tension flow from his groin into the rest of his body. It was like being covered by hundreds of ants, not an itch, more like something was tickling him under his skin. The feeling was too strong, and the Sentinel began to buck wildly on the bed, begging Blair to do something to make the sensation stop. The younger man removed his hand, and urged the Sentinel to his hands and knees. After some last minute adjustments to the older man's position, Blair quickly placed the lubricated head of his erection on the rosy puckered opening. Jim was still shaking when the head of Blair's cock entered his body. Despite being thoroughly prepared by his Guide, there was still some discomfort for the detective. "Relax, man." Blair coaxed. He waited until he felt the Sentinel unclench his tight buttock muscles before he pushed in a little further. Thrusting ever so gently, Blair worked his way into the older man's virgin passage. Once he was completely in, the younger man paused, giving Jim time to get used to the unusual intrusion. There was a grimace on the detective's face. Never in his life had he ever felt so full, but the sharp pain that had accompanied Blair's entry was rapidly fading; leaving only a burning need to move. Why wasn't the kid moving? Jim pushed back sharply as a hint, but ended up gasping at the pleasure the motion brought. With the action, Blair resumed his thrusts. Each stroke brought a wave of desire the likes of which Jim had never before experienced. He was lost to the new sensation. "God, Jim...you feel so good...so tight." Blair gasped out in time with his motions. Even though he had done this before, this sexual act had never brought him to the point he was at now. Maybe it was his imagination, or maybe it was his partner. It didn't matter now, though; the only thing that was important was concentrating on what was happening this exact minute. With each stroke, Blair's weight pushed the larger man towards the bed. His weeping erection was brushing against the mattress, and the teasing sensations were driving him crazy. He reached down to grab his own cock, but Blair knocked his hand away. "No, man, I want you in me." The only response the Sentinel was capable of was moaning his Guide's name. Apparently, the words must have excited Blair as well, because his thrusts got faster. As the madness started to overtake him, his Guide began to pound wildly into the Sentinel's ass. With a long cry, Blair exploded. Jim felt every bit of it; the slight swelling then constant throbbing, the warm jets of semen that poured forth, the waves of heat coming from the engorged flesh. The two men laid still for a few minutes, gasping for air. Jim waited until Blair left nirvana and returned back to earth before shifting slightly. The younger man noticed the movement and pulled out of the tight passage. The Sentinel was shocked to see his Guide move aside, falling to his knees and elbows. The sight of Blair, still sweaty and panting for breath, was so sensual it made Jim's cock twitch an anticipation. However, the detective wanted to give the younger man a chance to rest. "Hang on, Chief. Why don't you take a minute to catch your breath," he suggested. Blair just shook his head. "No, I'm fine." Reaching forward, the anthropologist grabbed the bottle of oil and held it out to the detective. His hand was shaking, part from need, part from nerves, as he accepted it. "Jim, you okay?" the younger man asked. Somewhat embarrassed, the Sentinel looked away as he answered. "I've never done this before," he whispered. Blair nodded. "Just do what I did to you," he suggested. Not quite sure where to begin, the Sentinel gathered his Guide up in his arms so that the two men were on their knees, back to chest. Using one hand to push back the mass of soft dark curls, Jim leaned forward and nuzzled the long expanse of Blair's neck, while his other hand reached around his body to tease a rosy nipple. In answer to the stimulation, the younger man pushed backwards and ground his ass against Jim's hardness. The Sentinel hissed out Blair's name as he began to undulate his hips to increase the contact while he leaned forward to lick his way down a soft, sweaty shoulder. The taste of Blair's skin once again exploded in his mouth, although this time it was more salty. Leaving the hard nipple, Jim's hand drifted down to Blair's groin. He ran his fingers gently through the thick, wiry hair; his soft touch raising goose flesh all over the right side of the younger man's body. Shifting slightly, his fingers brushed against Blair's penis, and was somewhat surprised to find it still hard after two recent orgasms. Jim knew from experience that it was doubtful that his Guide would be able to come again anytime soon, but he stroked the swollen cock anyway. Blair rewarded him with a soft moan as he leaned forward on his elbows. Repeating the path his Guide had taken with him, the Sentinel oiled his fingers and slowly pressed one into Blair's body. Since the younger man was so relaxed, Jim met with almost no resistance as he quickly prepared the passage. Although tired from their previous bouts, Blair was still enjoying the gentle probing. Using his knees and elbows for leverage, the younger man rocked his whole body back and forth. Feeling his Guide's movements, Jim held his hand perfectly still. The Sentinel felt himself staring opened-mouthed at the sensual sight of Blair essentially fucking himself on Jim's fingers. He let his Guide continue until he could stand it no more, he had to have Blair now. When he removed his hand, the younger man surprised him by turning over on his back. "I want to see you," he said simply. Jim shifted forward, waiting as Blair scooted closer and placed his legs over the older man's thighs. The new position left Jim's weeping erection pointing directly at his Guide's anus. Leaning down, the Sentinel captured Blair's lips with his own as his cock pushed into the waiting passage. The anthropologist was relaxed enough that the detective was able to enter him completely in one long, slow thrust. Blair groaned at the sensation of being filled for the first time. It took only a few moments for his body to adjust. He kissed Jim to signal the older man that he was ready to continue. Starting slowly, the Sentinel let his sense of touch run free. He was amazed at the differences between being in Blair and what he was used to. The passage was so much tighter than what he had expected. He could easily feel the various internal muscles that massaged his cock with each stroke. As he focused on the feeling, he felt himself starting to zone out. Fortunately, Blair saw it happening as well. He began to whisper sweet words of encouragement in the Sentinel's ear, describing with erotically graphic detail how each thrust, moan, and kiss felt to him. The sound of his Guide's voice anchored Jim, and the content of the words was so arousing he found himself quickly carried to the edge of orgasm. With a few more strokes, he came hissing Blair's name. Lacking the strength to move, he remained inside his Guide, showering the gorgeous face below his with soft butterfly kisses. Bright blue eyes looked up into his as Blair spoke. "Jim, that was like, so amazing. It was beautiful, unexpected, but beautiful." "You aren't kidding. I can't believe I just made love to *you*!" Although the Sentinel was just trying to explain his surprise at what had occurred this evening, the way he said it could have been taken as an insult. Blair knew exactly what the older man had been trying to say, but decided to have a little fun at Jim's expense. Putting on his best puppy dog expression, the one that could crumble even Simon Banks, Blair turned the look on full force and faced Jim. As an extra measure, he threw in one of his patented chin quivers. The Sentinel felt his heart skip a beat when he realized what he had said. When he saw the hurt expression on Blair's face, he wanted nothing more than to slither away and die. By torture, he mentally added at the sight of the quivering chin. Oh man, had he screwed up big this time. 'That's good. Insult your best friend after you've just had the best sex of your entire *life* with him,' he thought. "What I meant was I..I've never thought...I've never considered... this way..." As Jim stumbled through an attempt to explain his previous words, the younger man couldn't help but to chuckle softly. It took the Sentinel a few seconds to figure out that his Guide had set him up. Watching Jim's face as he worked through what had happened was priceless, and the sight caused the younger man burst into laughter. At first the Sentinel was angry, but it didn't take him long to join his Guide. What began as the little joke rapidly escalated into pure hysterical laughter. For the past two months both men had been emotional wrecks. That fact combined with Blair's impending departure, not to mention the revelations that had taken place in the past few hours were enough to make this little outburst a necessary release. They lay there laughing until their sides ached. Each time one of them would settle down, he would start all over again as soon as he heard or saw the other one. Finally laughed out, Blair reached up a hand to wipe the tears away from his face. 'He looks like a little kid,' Jim thought. It was such an endearing gesture, the Sentinel couldn't help but lean forward and plant a gentle kiss on his Guide's mouth. Blair was touched by the tenderness of the act, and when Jim pulled away, the younger man burst into one of his mega-watt smiles. Enraptured by the grin, the Sentinel reached up to cup one of his Guide's cheeks. It was hard to tell who was more surprised by his next words. "I love you, Chief." The younger man could do nothing but stare at his friend with his mouth gaping open. It took a few seconds for the words to completely register; but when they did, Jim could hear Blair's heart rate speed up. The Sentinel watched in fascination as dozens of emotions rippled across his Guide's ever expressive features. In the end, the older man was almost blinded by the radiant look of pure love that Blair aimed at him. "Oh, Jim," Blair said in a tight voice, "I love you, too." The Sentinel reached forward and pulled the younger man into a comforting embrace. The two men stayed that way for a long time, occasionally kissing or caressing each other until Blair drifted off to sleep. Gathering the smaller man into his arms, Jim wondered at what had happened tonight. He had possessed and been possessed by his Guide. Why now? Was it because Blair was leaving in the morning? How was this going to affect their friendship? Why, after four years and a thousand missed opportunities, had he blurted out that he loved Blair? Was it the 'I-love-you-you're-my- best-friend' kind of love, or was it the 'I'm-in-love-with-you' variety? God, he was too tired to figure out all of this now. Exhaustion from all the events of the day set in, but as sleep claimed him there was only one thing he was certain of, that he would never in his life forget what had happened here tonight.