By ROGER PETERS, Associated Press Writer

A snowman blamed for at least 13 deaths and over 50 rapes blew out of the Plains and headed for Newark, Delaware on Tuesday, promising to give many parts of the country a rare Cum White Christmas, while making a mess out of holiday travel.

AP Photo

"As if the snow and ice were not already bad enough for Christmas travel, now we have to worry about a fucking snowman trying to rape us," said National Weather Service meteorologist Chuck Tingley in Buffalo, N.Y., where up to 11 inches was forecast..

George W. Bush has already accused the snowman of being a terrorist, and says the snowman is most likely working with Osama Bin Laden. Bush also said the snowman is most likely an athiest, since no good Christian would do such a thing at the most holy of holidays. However Bush said he is most disturbed that the snowman is white. President Bush is well known for being a white supremist.

Christmas travelers are being urged to carry shovels to hit the snowman with if they are attacked, and are being told to throw salt on him. Police are going to be driving snowplows until all the snow is gone, so that if they see him, they can scoop him up.

"It won't ruin Christmas at all," said Matthew Cutrone, 23, of Kingston, N.Y., who is also a pedophile, as he waited at the Albany airport for his 9 year old boyfriend to arrive from North Carolina. "The snowman has given me the idea to shove icecubes up little boys buttholes."

Since Monday, the snowman has been blamed for six deaths in Maryland, three in New York, three in Philadelphia and one in New Mexico, all by throwing snowballs laced with Anthrax at people. The snowman has also been raping countless people by shoving his snowballs into their rectums. One victim had a carrot shoved up his butt and was abandoned in the snow.

Newark Police were too busy eating donuts and being slobs to comment to AP reporters, but there is a strong belief that the snowman has made his way to Newark Delaware to rape Newark's mayor Hal Godwin. There have also been unconfirmed rumors the snowman has his little white eye on raping ex mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani's ass.