CHERYL'S JOKES

Our Father!

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'
She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'
The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'
She says, 'That he did, Father..'
The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'
She says, 'He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'

What a night!

A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her.
He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1Million.
This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.
Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around. In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well. He asks the leprechaun what is going on.
"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."
"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?" "The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million.
"And them out there?" asks the guy, "You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

Taxes....

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Taxation Department. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."

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All Cartoons and Jokes are the result of many hours of searching on the Internet. I do not claim they are made by me. They are made by many clever people whom I give much credit!