"I wish you could've been there too. I would've shown you all the beautiful sights." Justin replied as he gazed down as Chasity. He was glad that the guys and Linzi had gone off earlier, leaving Chasiy and Justin together to catch up on each others' life. They had missed a lot during the nine months they'd been separated and Justin was afraid that maybe, when they finally met again, everything would be different. Now, as he sat here beside Chasity, he knew, beyond a doubt, that nothing had changed. He had never stopped loving her while he was away and probably never would.
"Like you would've really had time to show me around," Chasity laughed.
"I would've made time for you," Justin replied seriously. "...........You should know by now how important you are to me."
"Well, you're very important to me, too, Justin. You're such a great friend," Chasity confessed, pausing for a minute, before continuing. "........Whenever I'm with you, it feels like I'm dreaming. You're so different from all the other guys I've known........you actually care about me."
"Of course I do," Justin said as he tenderely gazed down at Chasity. She looked so vulnerable and confused. He lightly cupped her face in his hands and lowered his head, his lips dangerously close to hers. Chasiy closed her eyes as she slowly touched Justin's lips with her own, the need to kiss him overwhelming her. Justin pulled her closer to him as the kiss deepened, both of them intensely aware of each other.
"Justin.......wait........" Chasity whispered as she pulled herself away from him. "We shouldn't be doing this." Although her heart was beating erratically and she could hardly think straight, Chasity still had enough common sense to realize how wrong this was. Getting involved with Justin would just complicate matters.
"Chas, what's wrong?" Justin asked as his eyes searched deep into hers. "We aren't doing anything wrong, you know. It's okay for us to kiss," he said playfully, his eyes sparkling. He could tell she was upset and he wanted to try and keep things light.
"No, it's not okay," Chasity replied seriously. "You're my best friend, Justin, and I don't want to ruin that."
"And besides," she continued, before Justin could interrupt her. "You're gonna have to leave again tomorrow. You'll be so busy touring you won't even have time to think about me," she teased.
"Chas, look at me," Justin said as he took her hands into his and stared deep into her eyes. "All I ever do is think about you. The whole time I was touring overseas I wished that you were there with me. I love you Chasity and -"
"Justin -" Chasity interrupted.
"No, wait. Let me finish." he said, silencing her. "I love you and I don't ever want to leave you again. I've arranged it so that you can travel with me while the guys and I are on tour."
Chasity was speechless. She was so unprepared, not to mention surprised, by what Justin had just told her that she could barely think straight. "But...Justin....I mean....well.....you only think that you love me. I can't go on tour with you. You haven't really thought it through and you'd end up regretting it later on."
"No, I wouldn't. I know what I'm feeling, Chasity, and it's love - love for you. You have to stop running from me, darlin'. I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise. I don't know what Daniel did to hurt you but I'm not like him. Please trust me."
"Oh, Justin, I know you're not like Daniel," Chasity said with tears in her eyes. "You're the complete opposite of him. And that's why I care about you so much. But....what I mean is....oh, I don't know!"
"Chasity," Justin said gently. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me. If you can do that then I promise to never bother you again."
Chasity lifted her tear-streaked face up and looked directly into Justin's eyes. "I don't love you," she whispered, telling the biggest lie in her life. The pain that registered on Justin's face brought more tears to her eyes. She had never wanted to hurt him. She quickly jumped up so that she could run off before her resolve weakened even more.
"Wait," Justin said as he grabbed her hand. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Just tell me one thing before you go - What did Daniel do to you?"
Chasity squeezed her eyes shut as the tide of pain, both past and present, rushed over her. She didn't want to tell Justin what Daniel had done to her, but she knew he deserved to know. Especially after the hell she had put him through. "He- He raped me," she whispered as she pulled her hand out of Justin's light grip. She quickly turned away from him and fled off, the vision of her first love and what he had done to her fresh in her mind. It was the ultimate betrayal.
On the park bench Justin stared off after Chasity's retreating form, a dazed expression on his face. The thought of what that b*stard had done to his sweet, innocent Chasity left him feeling sick.
(at the concert)
"Hey, Chas, are you okay?" Linzi asked, a concerned expression on her face. Chasity had been unusually quiet tonight, which wasn't at all like her. Plus she hadn't even come out of her hotel room until it was exactly time for them to leave for the concert. Usually the two girls hung out together in the same room until it was time for them to go to sleep.
"I'm fine," Chasity replied, unconvincingly. "Just a little tired."
"Did something happen between you and Justin?"
"No, of course not......now quit worrying about me. I'm fine," Chasity said with a small smile. She was relieved when the lights finally went down and the opening acts came out. Now she wouldn't have to answer anymore of Linzi's unwanted questions.
The crowd went wild when, several minutes later, N'Sync finally came on stage. Chasity suddenly felt self-conscious and, for the first time in her life, she wished that she didn't have front row seats. She decided to keep her eyes glued on Lance, who seemed like a safe enough target.
"Hey, are ya'll having fun?" JC asked the crowd, perfectly at ease at being the center of attention. He smiled widely at the thunderous response he received. "I take it that's a yes," he teased, a charming smile on his face. "Well, before we get started, I have an announcement to make. As you probably heard earlier today, I have a girlfriend." he said, his eyes on Linzi. "And, well, this touring business is pretty hard on us so, of course, I had to come up with a solution............... Linzi, I can't stand to be away from you. Will you please come on tour with me?" JC's face lit up when he saw Linzi nod slightly, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
"Great! Now that that's out of the way, let's get on with the show!" JC exclaimed happily. The music started up and the guys went straight into the first song, which was "I Want You Back." No one noticed the blonde haired girl who was distraughtly pushing her way to the exit door. No one, that is, except for Justin.
Okay, stay calm Chasity told herself as she ran to the nearest restroom. She felt like she was going to be sick. She made it to a bathroom stall just in time and, after she finally finished, she washed out her mouth several times. Although she was still feeling very weak she quickly made her way back to the arena and slipped, unnoticed, back to her seat.
"Okay, ya'll," Justin told the crowd as the concert was coming to an end. "This last song is a very special song and I'd like to dedicate it to a very special girl..........This is for you, baby," Justin said sadly, his eyes never leaving Chasity's.
She stood out just like a diamond lady / Amongst the tourists in a crowded room / I took her walking on the sandy beaches / Under a silver carribbean moon.
That's when she / She promised that (I promised this) / And I promised this / And to this day I can still picture it / She took my hand (I took her kiss) / And I took her kiss / So temporary these moments of bliss.
Some dreams just fade away / Like yesterday's sunset / Some dreams are made to stay / She's one dream I'll never forget
Every day just seemed to go to quickly / And every night just passed us in a blur / I never noticed the blue skies and water / Because I only had eyes for her
And so when / She promised that (I promised this) / And I promised this / And to this day I can still picture it / She took my hand (I took her kiss) / And I took her kiss / So temporary those moments never last
Some dreams just fade away (some dreams just fade) / Like yesterday's sunset / Some dreams are made to stay (some dreams will stay) / She's one dream I'll never forget
"I cannot believe you!" Linzi exclaimed angrily as she charged into Chasity's room. "Are you out of your mind?!" She had just finished talking to Justin, who had reluctantly filled her in on what had happend earlier that day between him and Chasity.
"No, I'm not," Chasity replied wearily, wishing that Linzi would just go away. She didn't feel like explaining to Linzi why she couldn't get involved with Justin. She just wasn't up to it.
"How could you?" Linzi asked incredulously. "How could you push away the first guy who truly loves you?"
"It wasn't easy, you know." Chasity said as she tried to fight back the tears that threatened to spill. "Believe me, it wasn't something I wanted to do. But I had no choice......He deserves so much better than me."
Linzi's eyes softened as she looked at her desolate friend. "Chasity," she said softly. "That's not true. What Justin deserves is for the person he loves to stop running from him. Now I'm gonna go so that you can have some time alone to think. But before I go, I have something to give you," she added as she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. She handed it to Chasity and then walked out of the room. Chasity unfolded the note and felt her eyes well up with tears as she studied the familiar handwriting.
