Part 3: A struggle begins
That day's visit led to others. It had been a few days now since that first visit, and Macy soon learned to look forward to the visits from her *guardian angel* as she called him. They spent time together along side Hope who also visisted the other kids as she always did. Then one day, something happened. Road Dogg and X-Pac had been trying to help their new found friend and young brother of the Undertaker, Kane, make the descision of whether or not he wanted to visit his older sibling. He knew that Taker had been terribly injured but didn't know if he wanted to see him as he still held anger at him for all that had happened between them. "Look, you don't owe him anything Kane. You don't have to spend time with him. You can just walk in there and give him one glance then go." Said X Pac. Kane looked down not knowing what to do. Part of him hated his brother for all that had happened, but there was still a part of him that felt he needed some type of a relationship with his brother. "It's up to you big guy. He's your brother. And whatever descision you make is yours and yours alone. We're just your friends brother. What you decide is up to you." Said Road Dogg. Kane thought for a moment. "I will...go..see...him." Kane struggled to say.
Kane went to the hospital. Road Dogg went with him since X Pac needed to work out for a match and decided to stay behind. As he and Taker had their problems, he didn't want to risk a meeting and have it turn into a fight. Roadie asked what room Taker was in, and then he and Kane left for it. Kane looked in but found Taker was not there. "Oh...you don't think the big guy...nah, takes more than that to kill that dead sob. Come on, he's probably been released."
Just as he and Kane walked past the pediatric ward Kane stopped. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He grabbed Roadie by the arm to stop him. "Youch. Take it easy big man. Sometimes you don't know your own strength." Roadie said rubbing his arm. "Sorry." Kane rasped. "What's going on with the kiddies...what the!" Roadie exclaimed then nearly grabbed his mouth realizing he'd blurted it out. "Is that who I think it is?" He asked bumping Kane in the arm. "Brother..." Kane said. "Taker? In a room full of children? Oh now I know that ain't right. Why the hell is he in a room full of kids?"
Taker looked up and suddenly caught a glimpse of Kane. His eyes widened in both shock and amazement. "Macy, I...I'll be right back. I have something that really needs to be taken care of."
"Do you have too?" Macy plead. "I promise, I'll be right back. You'll hardly know I was gone." Taker said. "Ok."
Taker got up and rushed out of the ward and caught Kane leaving. "Kane, wait." Taker called. Kane stopped, but his back was turned to his older brother. Roadie didn't like what this might turn into, so he intervined. "Look, he just wanted to see that you were alive. Don't make this a problem for him."
"Look this is my brother not yours. You don't have any business in what I have to say to him so butt out." Taker snarled. "Yah, if it weren't for you then Kane wouldn't be as messed up as he is now." Roadie hissed under his breath. "Maybe you can't stand the fact that Kane has a heart and a soul that are far better than yours. What you were doing in that room full of kids I don't know. I don't want to know. Hell, we probably just hallucinated the damn thing. I guess maybe for a moment I thought maybe you had come back to your senses. But no, it was a hallucination. A bastad like you doesn't know what compassion is...all you know is hate. Come on Kane."
"Not til I say what needs to be said." Taker said insistantly. "Look, you just don't get it do you. He wants nothing to do with you. All you have ever done is hurt him! You and that Pilsbury dough boy he has the unfortunate task of calling a father. He don't want nothing to do with either of you. So just leave it be."
"How do you know he doesn't want anything to do with us, or me. I have to say somethings to him and dammit I'm going to say them."
"Well he don't want to hear them. Come on Kane."
"STOP IT!" Kane suddenly screeched. Taker and Roadie stood in stunned silence. "Now look what you've done." Roadie growled. Kane put his hands to his head and started pacing madly back and fourth. "Look, I have to do this or there will never be any peace between us. Look, what I have to say is not meant to be hurtful. If you must know I never intended for any of this to go as far as it went. Kane...please, I have to do this or it will haunt us both for the rest of eternity."
Kane stopped for a moment, his muscles tensed and his breathing harsh and shallow. He felt his anger but did his best to control it. "All right, if you insist upon it fine. But if you do anything, and I mean anything, to hurt him again I'll have security in here on you so fast it'll make your dead head swim." Roadie said angrily and walked away from the two. Kane and Taker were left alone just looking at each other. "Kane, look, I know I've done a lot that's hurt you. And I don't know any easy way to say what I've got to say. I screwed up. I screwed up as a brother, and I screwed up as a person. I know that. Look, that night after Judgment day I was angry. I was pissed off...more so at Austin than I was at you. I wanted that belt. Wanted it so bad I'd do anything to get it. And I realize now that I was wrong. I sacrificed a lot for that damn thing. I lost my friends, lost my fans...most of all I lost my brother. Look, I felt like I had nothing left to lose. I'd blown it big time and figured I might as well go to the other side because I didnt' think anyone gave a damn anyway. I gave into my greed and arrogance and it destroyed me. And I know that there is nothing I can do to make up for the way I've acted. More so I know there's nothing I can do to patch up the relationship with you I've destroyed. I'm not gonna stand here and justify what I did, because there is no justification for it. There's no excuse for the things I've done. I knew that there was a fragile balance within me. I knew I had a responcibility to those around me...but I had carried it for so long I got tired of it. I didn't want to be responcible for anyone else anymore. I had done so much for others, and I felt they abandoned me when I needed them most. I thought since no body else cared, why should I? But Kane I discovered a few days ago that there are people who do care. I met this young lady named Hope. She visited me when I was near death after my accident. She continued to visit me, she defended me. Then I found out this poor child who's been terminally ill for sometime...her greatest wish was to meet me. Kane, I've started to rediscover who I am. I know that can't make up for all the wrong that I've done. And if you never want to see me again then say so and you won't. I can't say that I blame you. I ruined your life. I know that saying I'm sorry doesn't mean a damn, but if it does, well, I'm sorry. It's all I can say. I can't really give an explanation for the way I've acted. Hell I can't explain it to myself. I know you probably hate me for it. I never meant for you to be hurt the way you were. I know there's nothing I can say to make things better again. I...I just had to get it out before one of us met our fate. Now...I have. I...can't say anything more because I don't know anything to say. I failed you Kane. I know that now. I failed you, I failed those who loved me. I failed myself. I...I'm gonna go. I can't say anything more. Goodbye little brother. If I can say something that will mean anything at all to you, don't follow your big brother. Don't turn into what I did. You made a far better decision than I could." Taker explained. He turned...then looked back at his brother, then he left. Kane stood there in silence. He hung his head low. Nothing made sense anymore. His older brother had done all this, now a life and death accident could turn him around? Was he saying this because he meant it, or did he say it simply to ease a guilty conscience? Roadie noticed Kane was alone. "Kane...you ok? What did he say to you?" Roadie asked. "That...he...was...sorry." Kane rasped. "He what?"
Taker went back to the pediatric ward but something terrible had happened. He found that Macy was not in there and the other children looked panicked. "Hope..Hope what's wrong? Where's Macy?"
Hope looked up with tears in her eyes. "She went into cardiac arrest. We don't know why. She just suddenly stopped breathing. They have her in the ER now. Oh God...she was fine for a moment...then she just...she just stopped breathing. Taker felt as if his own heart would stop. No...I only left her for a few moments, he thought. "You had best go back to your room for now. We aren't allowed in the ER. All we can do now is pray." Hope said drying her eyes. He hung his head down. How could she have gone from laughing and talking one moment, to on the brink of death in the next. He and Hope walked back to his room. Though he had made a quicker recovery than most would have expected, he still had to walk slow on his ankle because of the inscencent pain that still lingered. "I have to go eat something. If I don't I'll be the next one in ER. Will you be all right?"
"I...I don't know. I want Macy to be all right." Taker replied dryly. "We all do." Hope said and left. Taker was alone once more. He looked up at the ceiling thinking only of the little girl who now fought to live. "No..don't take her. She doesn't deserve to die. Take me. Take me, I am the one who has no right to live. Please...please don't end that poor, sweet little child's life before she's had a chance to live it. If my death is any atonement for the wrong I've done then take me. Please, don't take Macy. All she wants is to live and be a little girl who can grow up into a young woman. Please, I'm begging you; don't take her."
Kane and Roadie heard some commotion going on and they happened by Taker's room. They saw the dark man with his head down, face buried in his hands. He looked up. "Dying...she's dying. The child who loved me so is dying." He said not really noticing that there were two others in the room with him. "Brother..." Kane said. Taker finally looked into his brother's one good eye. "Why am I alive? Why is she the one to suffer when I'm the one who's the criminal? Why is she condemned to die when I'm the one who should be executed? Why am I alive! Why! Why her! She did nothing wrong, I did!" He couldn't believe what was happening to him. He was becoming hysterical. "All right, all right. Calm down you're gonna cause a scene. Take it easy."
"Brother...you must...calm yourself." Kane said. "Look, maybe I was wrong with all that I said back there in the hall. But you getting all upset and having a bunch of people come in here and strap you down and pump you full of tranquilizers ain't gonna help that little girl."
Hope came back into the room. Her face was grave as she looked at the two new faces in the room with Taker. "Who are you two?"
"We're friends of his...well, I'm a friend. This big guy in red is..."
"Kane. You must be the younger brother that Taker told me about." Hope said. Kane nodded yes. "Taker...it's Macy. She's in a coma. Doctors don't know if she'll ever come out of it or how much damage to her brain may have been done if she does. I don't understand it. She was doing so well, and when you came to see her it only made her so much more determined to get better. I don't know what will happen now. I guess we'll have to wait it out. They have her in ICU now. You can go visit her if you want. It...it might make a difference. It hasn't been 100% proven but I believe that comatosed patients can still hear and feel. If she hears your voice and knows you're near then maybe that will help her come out of this." Hope said. "I'm going to her. I can't let her die if I can help it. She gave something back to me that I thought I had lost...my heart."
Taker left his room and went to ICU. He saw Macy lying still and motionless in her bed. He walked over to her bed and sat down. His eyes looked on in disbelief. "How...how could this be? You were fine one minute, and now you're in this condition. Macy, Macy I know you can hear me. I know you know I'm here. You can't die. You cannot die. You and Hope gave me back something I thought had died long ago. I didnt' think there was any good left in me. I thought that all the tragedy and deciet in my life had killed the good within me. But,...I was wrong. There still is compassion left in me. There is still some hope of redemption for me. Macy...Macy come on...open your eyes. Please, open your eyes." He said. But the little child just laid there motionless. Taker looked up. "Look, what is it gonna take? What do I have to do to ensure this child lives? Please, Macy, I know you can hear me. Please...hang on. If you want me to stay here, all night if I have too, I will. You have helped me to start healing my heart. Please, hang on. You haven't even started to live yet."
It seemed hopeless as Taker hung his head down in defeat. For all the powers he had,...all the abilities he was given, he could not save one little child who had given back to him so much. He heard footsteps behind him. There was Kane. He stood at the side of his brother. Kane looked at the little child who lay motionless. She was hooked up to several machines so she could breath and her blood circulating. The brothers continued to watch the child as she lay there. Taker looked down upon her. He felt something forming in his eye...a tear drop. How could a little child who had done nothing wrong...who was guilty of nothing more than just loving him now suffer as she did? He put his hand upon her little cheek as the tear fell. He watched Kane also put his hand upon the little girl. Though it was a different affliction, Kane knew how the child felt. He too had once been in her position. He remembered the painful surgeries and a point in time when it was thought he would not live. It made him remember the ordeals he went through.
"Macy...please, please hang on. Please, you may be the only light left in my soul...don't let that light go out. Please Macy...please hang on."
A feeling of defeat plauged him. Taker looked at Macy once more, then he and his brother both left her room. Kane looked at Taker. This emotion from his brother was strange to him. "You...care....for....her..."
"She gave something back to me Kane. I thought I had no compassion left. I hated people for leaving me...hated Macmanhon for using me...I just hated period. I know now I let that hate overrun me. I acted like a possessed demon. Right now, only person I hate is...me." Taker said lowering his head. "I don't know what I'll do if that little girl dies. I've only known her for a short time, and yet, it seems like she's given my whole life back to me. If she dies, then I will have nothing left. I have no friends left...save Hope and Macy. I feel as if they are my only home now...and if I lose them...I have nothing left."
Part 4:Lost and Found
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