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Title: Musings of a Red Haired woman

Author: Leire Gomez a.k.a Spookster

Disclaimer: It is quite easy: I donít own the characters you recognise, they belong to CC and FOX. The ones you know are just product of my sick mind.

Summary: Scully writes in a diary the things that have happened to her after her cancer remission.

Spoilers: Redux (both parts)

Authorís note: Well this is one of my first attempts to write fanfic so please be gentle. I would like to thank Lexie and Susan Proto for being my first reader and tell me their opinion about it. And also I would like to thank my friends from the GDT (Guinness Drinking Team) for encouraging me to do this and for the many funny evenings we have spent at "The Dubliners" drinking Guinness and talking about future trips to Ireland and Scotland and basically having fun. Thanks to all of you. Hey Kurgan! May the Guinness be with you.

Feedback: yes please comments and flames will be welcomed (I have been four years at University so I stand flames without moving a muscle (just like Mulder).

Here it goes:


Washington D.C. 2002

So many things have happened after my cure of the terrible cancer that threatened my life 5 years ago. It is very curious how when you feel your life is over, you have the necessity of making things good. This was what happened between my now-husband of 5 years and me. His job discovering the traitors who worked inside the FBI was highly awarded and now he enjoys some privileges that were undoubted when he began. This helped a lot to our relationship to change.

After arriving home from hospital, we decided it was worthless to pretend that our feelings were purely professional. Everything was very fast, mainly because we thought we had waited too much. Two months after my cure, we got married. It was a great wedding, even tough not a big one. All our beloved ones surrounded us. All my siblings were there and also some mates from work. A.D. Skinner was Foxís best man and he behaved like his real father this day. Most of the guests were of my family but they kind of adopted Fox immediately. It is very curios how this man who was brought up in such cold family, can have such capacity for loving and caring for his now family. His mother attended the celebration but she was very serious through the whole day and she seemed to be angry towards all the guests. Fox noticed that and after the dance, he escorted her to her car where he said goodbye to her. It was strange but after her mother had gone, he was more relaxed.

Our honeymoon was in Ireland. I had spent some of my childhood holidays there and I want him to enjoy that wonderful country. We visited some of my Irish siblings and they were very happy meeting Fox. They carried us along the country and we delight in it every minute. We were dwelled in my grandmotherís home, where Fox could see photographs of my brothers and me as children and he had a great time making jokes about it. Something very curious happened. Once Fox had told me that his surname, Mulder came from Holland, but one of my cousin Erin had a boyfriend called Muldoon. We looked for the history of the name and it turned to be an Irish one. The Muldoon were a Catholic Irish family who due to all the political troubles migrated to other parts of Europe where they changed their name in order not to be discriminated. My cousin Erin and his boyfriend Ciaran were together for six years and even though they were very young, they were planning to get married. Fox got on very well with both of them and now they are living in Washington where both work as University teachers.

After arriving from Ireland, our life began completely. I was transferred to Quantico because my health was not good enough and both my husband and Skinner insisted in a more relaxed work. Fox was promoted and he was the supervisor of the X Files division. He works with two young agents who are really interested in which my husband thinks. It is not that they agree all the time but at last they seem to wok well together. He still says he misses me at work but he seems to be very happy now.

We knew we wouldnít have children. Doctors told me that after my illness, all my body was very weak and a pregnancy was impossible for me. I know Fox felt quite disappointed, mainly because he wanted a big family where children were raised in an environment full of love and care. We decided we could adapt a child; we thought that it would be a special baby, someone who really needed our help. We began the documents and that entire staff. We were a young married couple with a stable economic situation so we did not have too many problems. One day the adoption department called us and that is why we met our son Samuel. Samuel was a perfect baby, with a soft blond hair and incredibly blue eyes. His little heart was very weak so he needed a surgery in order to make him live better. His parents left him because the surgery was very expensive and without it, the baby would not live long. We fell in love with him immediately and we adopted him. As soon as the adoption was legal, Samuel had his operation and within a week he was at home. We were a little unprepared, Sam was a one year and a half toddler and we expect a new-born baby and all of us adapt to the situation perfectly.

My mother was really enchanted with her grandson and Sam was welcomed to the family without any question. He was christened as Samuel William Mulder and of course he had the best people to take care of him: Skinner was his godfather and my mother his godmother. Foxís mother did not come and as I could see in his attitude she was not very happy about her grandson. The great change I saw in Mulder was unbelievable: he tried to spend more time with Sam and me and I discovered that my husband could behave as his son in front of all his toys.

I came back to work after Samís adoption so he spent the days both in the Day-care and with Erin and Ciaran. They were both Doctors in Celtic Medieval History and Literature and I discovered that they were teaching Sam to talk in Gaelic. Our little baby developed a very easy going personality which my mother always insisted that was because of me, but when his father arrived home, Sam focused all his attention in him. He was usually a very naughty boy, always running around, playing with the toys and everything but as soon as he saw his father, he threw to his arms and enjoyed every minute of it. I think that I am living the best time of my life.

It is very difficult for me to remember how everything began. I was transferred to work with the most unwanted person of the FBI and 10 years later, he is my best friend, my husband, my lover and the best father our son Samuel could have. I think the people who sent me to work with Mulder must be regretting it every single day. Not only did I not spy on him as I was supposed to do, but I became a scientific support for his work. We have formed a family that will be increase soon. We have discovered today that we will expecting a baby. This is a total unbelievable event. We were told that due to my abduction, I was incapable to conceive children, so when I visited the doctor this morning and he told me about the baby, I was simply delighted with the idea. I will never forget Foxís face when hearing the news. Tears have fallen from his eyes and he has hugged Sam and me like never before. This baby is going to be a good thing for our family. Sam is not completely conscious of what this means but he seems to be happy just seeing Fox and me happy.

Now it is very late at night and Mulder is reading Sam to sleep. We have spent all the evening together, first in the playground and then in the park, sitting in our bench. Sam was totally tired so he felt asleep in his fatherís lap, his little baby snoring sounding slightly and giving his father and me a sense total calmness. We have been there for a couple of hours, without speaking, just enjoying the feeling of being together.

My doctor told me that after everything I was through, I must read some kind of diary, that it would help me to face life from now on. I donít know if this will help but I am writing it anyway. I would like that someday Sam and my little girl (I donít know why but I know it will be a girl) can read this and understand all both their parents have seen and fought.

Now I hear Mulder talking softly to Sam and I know the baby will be gently holding his fatherís index finger while sleep comes to him. These are the little things that worry Mulder and I now. No more liver-eaters or vampires of Government conspiracies, just the little progresses our little one does everyday. I remember once Skinner asked us about missing our old way of life and what Mulder replied: I looked for the truth for a long time but after all I have seen, I can tell you that nothing was comparable to be able to see my son growing up. I will not let him live the life my father chose me to. I will always look for the truth but I will never give up my family. If I have to stop for my familyís sake, there is no doubt I will do it.

I think that what Mulder told Skinner that day summarises everything both of us felt right now. One day Sam and his sister will read this and they will be fond of their parents, not because we leave our job for them but because we will able to face the enemy and survive always looking for the truth.



This has been finished on May 28th at 23:20.