THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF MY LIFE II: Remembrance Day.
Disclaimer: I donít own them.
Category: M/S married, Mulder dead (ha!).
Summary: Dana and Willem attend a party to honor Fox Mulderís life, but they canít mourn a living man, can they?
Authorís notes. This is a continuation of "The most important decision of my life" so you have to read it first to know what this story is about. I hope you still like the story after reading this.
Dedications: I would like to dedicate this to all the people who encourage me to keep on writing, especially to my friend Adelaida, who reads all the stories I write (give her credit because she deserves it). Apart from being a wonderful friend, sheís also my personal public relations officer so she sends my stories to different people, so thanks Ade, for your friendship and everything you do for me. I also would like to thank Ivanosca for giving me the idea to write this sequel; hope you like it, Iva.
A very special thanks to Cathey Chapman for beta reading this and encouraging me for keep on writing, Thank you very much Cathey, I hope to read your fanfic soon.
The most important decision of my life II: Remembrance Day.
Two weeks ago, I received a letter from the FBI. It had been a while since the last time I had any relation with the Bureau. After my husbandís death, I quit my work as a federal agent and moved to the medical field so I had more spare time to dedicate to my son. It was him who gave me the letter. I was in the kitchen preparing something for dinner when Willem came running as if his life would depend on how fast he could go.
"Mom! Mom! You have a letter from the FBI!"
I couldnít help but smile at my sonís enthusiasm. It really didnít take much to get him excited, what can I say? Heís a happy 10 year old boy and everything is a new adventure for him. At that moment, he was very curious about organizations such as the CIA and of course, the FBI. He spent the whole day asking me about my latter work as a FBI agent. He even found my badge and liked to wear it around his neck at home.
"What does the letter say, Mom?"
"Willem, as good as you think I am, I canít read through the envelope. Why donít you go upstairs, take a shower and get ready for dinner? Grandma will arrive soon."
"Ok, but what about the letter?"
"Iíll tell you when you come down."
So he went as he came.... running. I could hear his footsteps on the stairs, in his bedroom and then in the bathroom. Once I knew he was in the shower, I opened the envelope. It was from the Director of the FBI Walter Skinner. He invited me to a party held in one of the most expensive hotels in Washington. The party was one of those latter agents meetings but this one had a special purpose: in this the Bureau would honor my husbandís memory.
I had to sit down after reading this. There was not a single day I didnít remember Fox but now it was the Bureauís time to. I was so focused on the letter that I didnít hear my mother coming to the kitchen.
"Dana honey, whatís wrong?"
I handed her the letter partly because I knew I couldnít say a word at the moment. Although he was not one of her own children, my mother loved Fox as much as she loved us and mourned his death as his own mother. When she finished, she looked at me with watery eyes.
"What are you going to do?"
"I guess Iíll go. They will honor Fox after all."
"They are a bit late, arenít they?" My mother said with a tinge of remorse in her voice.
"I know that Mom but Fox would want me to go and thatís exactly what Iím going to do."
"Have you told Willem?"
"He gave me the letter and I promised to tell him as soon as he comes down for dinner."
Suddenly, Willem appeared wearing his pajamas full of images of planets, stars and satellites. His hair was still wet from the shower and uncombed, as it always was and his feet were bare; in other words he was a 10 year old Fox Mulder. Looking at him, Maggie thought he was a perfect mixture of his parents.
"Whatís for dinner? Iím hungry."
"Good thing because I prepared your favorite."
"Great" claimed Willem while he sat and took a fork and a knife.
"Are you going to carry that all day?" Asked Maggie pointing to her grandsonís neck where his motherís badge hung.
"Yes, Iím agent Mulder-Scully from the FBI and I must carry my identification in case my help is required, donít I Mom?"
"Well, I guess if youíre a FBI agent now, you donít need that stuffed teddy bear you sleep with." Maggie said.
"Itís not a teddy bear, Grandma. Itís an ewok from Endor moon. They helped the Alliance to defeat the Empire so now they help the FBI."
Seeing my motherís confused expression, I rescued her.
"He is talking about Star Wars, Mom, that science-fiction movie heís always watching."
"I have never understood such fascination for a movie." my mother replied under my sonís angry face.
Dinner was as usual: Mom and I talked about daily events while Willem tried to tell us about his day and eat his dinner at the same time. My son is a hyperactive boy. Heís on the soccer team (I donít know how Fox would have dealt with this) but this year he joined the Karate team and this is his third year attending violin classes. Heís always busy doing a million different things but as long as he is happy and all the activity doesnít affect his grades, I donít have anything to say.
I was listening to his "adventures" in the soccer training, somehow relieved that he didnít remember the letter thing when he stopped talking and looked at me.
"Mom, what did the letter say?"
My mother carried all the dishes to the sink and I moved to the living room with Willem.
"Get ready for bed. Iíll come up as soon as I finish washing the dishes."
"Mom, why donít you tell me? You promised!"
"And Iíll tell you. Just go upstairs, Iíll be up in a minute."
I took my time doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen half wishing to find Willem asleep when I went to his room. I was not so lucky. I opened the door to find him reading a comic book.
"Hey you! What are you doing?"
"Iím reading this comic book David gave me. Did you know that aliensí blood is green?"
"Really?" I feigned surprise.
"Yes, I read it here; they are gray not green as many people think but their blood is green and toxic for human beings."
"I see, well I think it is good to know if you ever find an alien."
"Yes, we have to be ready Mom."
I had to smile at Willemís expression. He was so serious with this, that it reminded me of his father. Which due to the circumstances made the situation more difficult. I really didnít know to tell him about the letter so I put it in his hands and waited for him to read it. I saw how his face changed as he read the lines. When he finished, he put the letter back in the envelope and without looking at me, he said,
"Theyíre doing a party for Daddy?"
He always called Fox "Daddy". I had been "Mommy" once but as he grew up, I was upgraded to "Mom". I guess it was normal for Willem to call his father daddy since he was two the last time he saw him.
"Yes, Willem, the FBI is going to hold a party and in it, they will remember your fatherís career in the Bureau. I will go and was wondering if you would like to come too."
" Can I go with you?"
" Only if you want to. Your father would be very happy if you came with me on his behalf."
"Then, Iíll go. Can I wear your jacket and your badge?"
"You can take the badge but itís a black tie event so you have to dress up for the occasion."
"With a suit and a tie? Mom, I wear that at school everyday."
Fox insisted on enrolling Willem in a private school in Washington. I wanted a public school where Willem could enjoy a normal life, but Fox convinced me. It was one of the best schools in the country where most privileged boys went. I thought it would be impossible for Willem to be in but it was Foxís old school so Willem was accepted without problem. The education level was really high; Willem studied three languages apart from the ordinary subjects and he shared his activities with boys from around the world. I was actually surprised when I heard my son speaking fluently in languages I didnít recognize. The only thing he was not happy about was his uniform. He looked exactly like a little man.
"We must buy you an elegant suit and tie so everyone can see the handsome son I have."
I tickled his tummy so he began laughing hysterically. He was a Scully in the ticklish department. He yawned so I helped him to slip under the covers and after giving me a goodnight kiss and taking his ever-present ewok, he felt asleep.
That night, I didnít sleep much. I remembered the happy days (and nights) my husband and I spent together. After our returning from the Arctic, we decided not to hide our feelings anymore; Fox moved to my apartment and we felt like a married couple for all that mattered. As time went by, we considered adopting a child but soon I discovered I was pregnant.
We couldnít believe it when the doctor broke the news. I thought I was unable to carry a pregnancy to term so we didnít take any means to prevent that. The ob-gyn said that maybe the fact that we were not trying made it happen. Willem was the greatest gift God blessed us with and made us the happiest couple in the world. Fox enjoyed being a father and tried to spend as much time with the baby as he could. He gave Willem the bottle at night and many times I went to the nursery to find him sitting in the rocking chair and talking nonsense to the baby. I know they say that there is always a special bond between a baby and its mother but I think this time Willem chose his father instead of me. I was not jealous about it and I really loved to see these moments shared between father and son.
We were as happy as a family could be and I was sometimes afraid that it could end abruptly. I couldnít be more right. One day, eight years ago, my husbandís car was involved in a tremendous accident. One of those trucks that carried flammable material collided frontally with Foxís car. Both of the vehicles turned into a great ball of fire that made it impossible for anybody to help their occupants. I couldnít even identify his body or what was left of him due to the fire. We buried Fox not in Marthaís Vineyard where his father rested but in Arlington near my father and Missy. I thought he would prefer it that way.
Although I called his mother, she didnít come using the known excuse of her weak heart. If you asked me, I would say that this woman had no heart at all. She didnít come to our wedding and refused to meet her only grandson when Fox and I took the baby to the Vineyard. Fox was so excited about it. He looked so happy when he took the baby and brought it to his motherís house. Somehow, I expected Tinaís reaction. Fox had lost her baby a long time ago and she didnít want another baby but hers. I think I could have killed that old stupid woman with my own hands that night when I held my husband while he cried in my arms.
From that moment, We forgot that she existed; Willem never asked for her and since Foxís death, I didnít care much about her. She died two years ago while she slept and she didnít suffer. I was sorry to hear that; I have never wished any hurt or pain to anybody but I would like her to suffer as much as she had caused her son to.
The following day after the letter, I phoned Skinner. He was now the Director of the FBI. I must confess I was very nervous about talking with him again and the sound of his voice brought me back to the times when Fox and I worked together.
"Hello Mr. Skinner, itīs Dana Scully."
"Hello agent Scully, how are you doing?"
"Fine, thank you. Working at the hospital is hard but taking care of little babies is very rewarding. Itís good to talk to you again Sir."
"Same here agent Scully. I suppose you received the letter."
"Actually, thatís why I want to talk with you. My son read the letter and I wonder if he could come with me."
"Of course he can. It would be great to see him again. Last time I saw him he was beginning kindergarten. How is he doing?"
"Well, Sir, heís 10 now, doing fine at school and driving my mother and me crazy everyday."
"That reminds me of certain agent I had."
"If you remembered the father, let me tell you the son is ten times worse."
There was an uncomfortable silence when both of us thought about the latter agent. It was Skinner who broke the silence.
"Agent Scully, what do you think if Willem says a little something about his father, a little speech or something."
"I donít know Sir, he doesnít feel very confident in a room full of adults, but I can tell him."
"Okay, just try."
"Sir, I would like to thank you both for inviting Willem and me and for the tribute to Fox."
"He was one of the best agent Scully. This is the least the Bureau can do for him."
"Thank you Sir. I know Fox would be very happy with this."
"Well, I think he would prefer to be with the Lone Gunmen and laugh at our faces."
"Yes, that sounds more like Fox."
After talking with Skinner, I told Willem about the speech thing and he agreed to it. He was not worried but excited about being able to honor his father. During the following days, Willem asked my Mom and me a lot of questions so I took him to the attic where Fox kept more of his things. He spent much time in the attic and I saw a little notebook where he wrote down what he considered important. Neither my Mom nor I were able to see his notes but seeing Willem worked with such determination reminded me of Fox when working in the X-Files. All his energy was focused on the matter at hand and nothing else mattered.
When the day arrived, I couldnít tell who was more nervous, Willem or me. He came from school that day and ran upstairs to, as he said, "finish something important". Mom had taken Willem to the mall to buy his suit so I had no idea how it looked. As she was helping him to dress, I got myself ready. I had lost weight and due to the time spent at the gym, I was more slender than before. All my dresses seemed bigger than I was, so I bought a new dress for the occasion. It was a long black gown with tiny straps that just fit perfectly on me. I also bought a matching jacket and high heel shoes and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see I had made a good decision. I was looking at my hair when Willem appeared in the hallway. He was dressed in a black suit that made him seem older. His immaculate white shirt matched perfectly with the gray tie he wore. His hair was combed and his shoes perfectly clean (this is my son we are talking about so let me tell you, it was unusual). He stood in front of me with a smile on his face and my mother at his back looking at me expectantly.
"My God, whoís this handsome man?"
"Do you like it? We spent the whole evening looking for the right one."
"You did a good job. Come here! I have something for you."
I put his fatherís badge in his jacket lapel. He had not seen it before since I kept it in my bedroom so he was very surprised.
"Is it Dadís real badge?"
"Yes, it is. You canít take mine tonight because I am, or at least was, agent Scully. I thought you would like to take your fatherís instead."
We said goodbye to Mom and took a cab to the hotel. Willem didnít say much on our way; he simply took Foxís badge between his hands and looked at his picture. I knew my son missed his father very much. He didnít say anything about him but I caught him reading the tale his father used to read him to sleep or wearing Foxís old Knicks shirt. I held his hand tight and he smiled at me as if assuring he was fine.
When we arrived at the hotel, Skinner was waiting for us already. He hugged both of us and took Willem in his arms, just to see how big he was. My son never liked people to hold him but he seemed relaxed in my old bossís arms and Skinner was delighted with it. He led us to the ballroom where the party had already begun. There I could see latter agents of the FBI now retired or working in another field outside the Bureau. I must say I didnít know most of them but they stopped whatever they were doing just to look at the three of us entering. Willem was still in Skinnerís arms but they continued like that. Skinner put Willem on the floor and took my hand with his and led us to the main table situated at the front of the room. I think he could sense Willemís nervousness so he passed his free arm over my sonís shoulders. Once at the table, we were introduced to the rest of the people there. Soon after we seated, the dinner was served. Willem soon began talking to Skinner about his school and his friends while my former boss listened to him. It was strange to see the FBI director paying total attention to the ramblings of a 10-year-old but there they were, totally unaware of the rest of the people and focused on their conversation. Fox would have liked to see this; he would have laughed for sure.
When the dinner was over, the band began playing and people dancing occupied the dance floor. Mrs. Skinner took Willemís hand and both led to the center of the room to dance. I was happy to know that they were together again. Skinner was a great man; he only needed some time to let his wife discover it.
"Your son is a great boy, Agent Scully. You must be very proud of him."
"Thanks Sir, I am. There are times I see him asleep and still canít believe heís my son but having him by my side and being able to watch him grow up is the best thing I could ask for. My happiness would be complete if Fox were here with us."
"Donít you miss your work in the FBI?"
"No Sir, I donít. There would not be a point in working there without Fox; I wouldnít be able to. Iím happy with my work at the hospital; itís less stressing and it gives more time to be with Willem and my mom."
"Is she okay?"
"Sheís fine. Sheís getting older and her energy is leaving her little by little but I think having Willem around makes her feel younger. She never recovered from Foxís sudden death but she does her best for Willemís sake."
"Everybody has to make sacrifices for their loved ones."
"To do something for someone you love is not a sacrifice Sir. You do it because you have to; there are no questions or doubts about it."
"Itís not so easy Scully. There are times you have no choice and what you feel is not as important as what you can lose. Sometimes sacrifices are too much to live with. Just remember that, ok?"
Mrs. Skinner and Willem came back from the dance floor. Both of them were smiling as they approached and Willem climbed into my lap, put his arms around my neck and kissed my right cheek.
"Your son is a great dancer, Mrs. Mulder." Mrs. Skinner told me.
"He loves dancing since he was nearly a baby. I remembered he loved it when I took him in my arms and danced with him. He likes to dance with my Mom and she even taught him some Irish dances."
"So would you like to be a professional dancer when you grow up?" Skinner asked Willem.
"No, I am going to study Astronomy. I would like to know everything about the galaxies and the planets, and the stars...."
"Thatís interesting. One friend of mine works at the planetarium so I can take you there if you want."
"That would be great!" Willem said with an excited expression on his face, I had taken him to the planetarium many times but he always wanted to go back. Last time, he asked the guide about everything we passed by. He even asked about the big telescope and if he could look into it.
The planetarium guide said it was forbidden so I took a very pouty Willem home.
"Does he work with the big telescope?" I saw this coming.
"I think he does. He is the director of the planetary so he can let you see everything you want to."
"You do like to see the stars, donít you?"
"Yes, Iím going to study every single planet to find extraterrestrial life and Iím going to prove they exist. Mom doesnít believe in them but Iím going to show her so she has to agree with me."
"Now, I see your intentions." Skinner said looking first at Willem and then at me.
"Mr. Skinner, does the FBI need astronomers?"
"Well yes, Willem it does. The FBI needs very different fields to work such as medical doctors, psychologist, pathologists, lawyers... Why?"
"I was wondering, can I join the FBI after graduating from College?"
"Yes you can. You must study hard at College and then join the FBI. I will be happy to have an agent Mulder again." Skinner looked at Willemís lapel and saw the badge. "I see you have your badge already."
"Itís not mine, its Dadís. I had Momís but she gave me this so now we are agents Mulder and Scully again."
Willem was so proud carrying his fatherís badge that he didnít realize how hard his words had beaten, "Agents Mulder and Scully again".
We were still silent when an agent asked Skinner to begin with his speech. He looked at Willem who moved nervously in his chair.
"Are you ready?"
Skinner went to the podium at the left side of the table. People stopped whatever they were doing and waited for the director to speak.
"First of all, I would like to thank all of you for being here tonight. In all the years I have been working in the Bureau, I have had the honor to work with great people who have given me not only the best of themselves at work but also their friendship. Most of them are here, some of them have retired and others have moved to another fields where, Iím sure, they are doing an excellent work. This meeting is for all of you, to thank you for the years you dedicated to the FBI"
The room broke in a big applause while the people in the room shook hands and smiled to one another. Skinner took a sip of water and approached the microphone again. His face was more serious now.
"I would like to call on the memory of those agents who cannot be here with us because they gave their lives for the Bureau. Although we cannot see them, they are here if not physically, in our hearts. They will be always remembered, for they were heroes. I want to remember one of those agents tonight, Special agent Fox William Mulder. He was known due to his techniques and his work together with Agent Scully in the X-Files. Most of you will remember him as "Spooky" Mulder. Agent Scully, Mulderís wife, and their son, Willem are here with us. Willem has prepared something he wants to tell us."
Skinner invited Willem to the podium. I kissed my son in the cheek to give him some courage though I was more nervous than he was. He walked to the podium where Skinner had prepared a chair for Willem to stand up. I could see Skinner mouthed "I know your father is hearing this."
Willem looked at the audience and then took out a paper from his pocket. He cleared his throat and began speaking.
"Good evening ladies and gentleman. My name is Willem Renard Mulder and as director Skinner said I'm Fox Mulder and Dana Scullyís son. As you know, my father died in a car accident when I was two so my memories of him are not much. I remember he liked to play with me and hold me till I felt asleep. I remembered things like how he smelled and how his voice kept me calm when I couldnít sleep. My last memory of him was when he took us to New York to see a Knicks game. We were in the front row and I spent the whole game in his lap while he explained me what was happening. He never talked as if I was a small boy but talked to me as he talked with Mom or some grownup and that made me feel good. Basically thatís all I remember about the man you knew as Fox Mulder."
At this point, he stopped and directed his gaze towards me. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and my heart pounded so hard my chest ached. I also remembered that day. Iíd said Willem was too small to go but Fox insisted. I had never seen Fox so excited. We sat at the front and during the game he told Willem the name of every player. The baby listened to his father carefully and by the end of the game he was able to tell some of the names by himself. After that, Fox bought a little hoop and a soft basketball for Willem to play. I guess thatís one of the reasons Willem chose soccer instead of basketball; it was only for he and his father.
Skinner smiled at Willem so he continued.
"I have been looking through my fatherís things and I found his diary where he wrote everything. That way I knew about his work in the FBI and the things he worried about. I learned that he considered the day he met mom for the first time the most important day of his life because after that he never felt alone again. I discovered how fond he was of Mr. Skinnerís friendship and support and how broken he felt when the X-Files was closed down. I read about my birthday when he cried the first time he held me in his arms and I didnít stop crying till Mom took me. He was afraid of being a bad father and repeating his own fatherís actions."
"He is not here but I would like to say this to him: Dad, I want to tell you that you were a great father and even though we didnít spend much time together, you taught me a lot. You showed me to be honest and caring with the people I love and care about and to seek for the truth in everything I do. I think you are the best father a boy like me can ask for and the only thing I regret is not being able to tell you this in person. Grandma Maggie always tells me that you can hear me from heaven or wherever you are so I tell you something, Iím going to take care of grandma Maggie and Mom as you would do. Iíll work hard and after College, Iíll join the Bureau and continue with your work. Iíll prove your work was right and every agent who laughed at you will have to apologize. I promise Dad. I love you."
Someone at the back of the room began clapping and soon after that everybody followed. People stood up and looked at Willem who stood proudly at the podium. He had opened his heart and had turned the speech into a dialogue with his father. I had never been so proud of him as I was at that moment.
Skinner came near him carrying a large velvet box. He took a gold medal from inside and putting it on Willemís jacket, he said, "As director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, itís an honor and a pleasure to give you this medal in recognition of your fatherís work in the FBI. The Bureau did certainly lose one of its best agents when he died. I hope you will grow up to be as good as your father was and let me tell you that we will wait for you to keep on with his work."
Willem nodded solemnly while he touched the medal on his jacket. I guess that as mature as he tried to be, he couldnít help but cry as he listened Skinnerís words. I felt tears running down my cheeks as well and they increased when I saw Skinner hugging my son affectionately. They came to our table together and Willem climbed in my arms and showed me the medal.
"I am so very proud of you Willem."
"Did you like the speech, Mom?"
"I love it sweetheart."
"Grandma helped me with it. I was nervous at first when all the people were looking at me but I thought of what Mr. Skinner told about Dad watching me and I wasnít nervous any more."
"Iím sure your father was listening to you Willem and he is as proud of you as me and Grandma Maggie are."
An old agent who came to congratulate Willem for his wonderful speech interrupted our conversation. He was not the only one to talk with my son; many others came and congratulate him. He talked with every one of them and answered their questions. I was watching him when Skinner came.
"He is good at public relations, isnít he?"
"Yes, I think he looks like me in that aspect. As good as his father was, Fox Mulder was never good at making friends." I said and Skinner smiled at it.
"No he was not, but he chose his friends cautiously. Speaking of that, what do you know about the Lone Gunmen?"
"They are fine and working as usual. Frohike comes sometimes and takes Willem with him. I think they trying to recruit him in the group but he always has fun with them and they feel closer to Fox that way."
"Say hello to them on my behalf next time you see them."
"I will Sir. I think we must go home. Itís late and tomorrow Willem has to go to a Karate competition."
"Iíll go and catch him. Go take your coats."
"Thank you Sir. It has been a wonderful night."
"It has been good to have you here again. If you ever think to come back, just tell me, ok?"
"I donít think that could happen but thank you."
I took our coats and called a taxi. When Willem came with Skinner, we said our good-byes and left for home. Willem was so tired that he felt asleep by my side in the cab. I had to wake him up when we arrived and he walked sleepily to our house. I thought my mother would be asleep but we found her in the living room. At first I couldnít see whom she was with but then the man turned towards Willem and me and my whole world fell down. There standing in my living room was the love of my life, a man I would have given my life for, the father of my son. I felt paralyzed and the only thing I could do was to hold Willem who looked confused at his father.
"Hello Dana, Willem..."
THE END (for now, I guess).
Good, bad horrible...tell me what you think.