DING DING DING!!!
Ben Richmond: Ladies and gentlemen... please allow me to introduce... the SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE for this next contest!
*** Crowd boos as "Who Made Who" by AC/DC starts to play. ***
Richmond: He is the OWNER of the UOWN... BRIAN O'BANION!!!
*** The crowd is going nuts as OB makes his way to the ring, in a referee's shirt... smiling cockily. He enters the ring, grabs the microphone away from Richmond... and speaks... ***
O'Banion: Thank you...
*** Pauses as the crowd boos... "ASSHOLE" and "YOU SUCK" chants are all over the place. ***
O'BanionYes... I will be taking over ring announce duties as well... so... without further adieu... please welcome the special guest ringside enforcer for this match... BOOM!!! WELCOME TO THE PLANET BOOM!!!
*** The crowd boos as Boom walks out, wearing athletic pants and a "Planet Boom" t-shirt. ***
Papa: Well... here they come folks... out here to SCREW Stevie Graham and Brian Blade... Brian O'Banion, and his buddy, Mr. Impartiality, BOOM...
Crocker: Hey... they're gonna call it right down the middle Papa!!!
Papa: Sure they are Crock... keep telling yourself that...
O'Banion: Now... before the Saxist comes out here and beats the crap out of two no-good, disrespectful GTW jabronis... I have to introduce them... so first... here he is... a FORMER UOWN Champion... who will NEVER hold that title again... the waste of space... BRIAN BLADE!!!
*** The crowd pops as "Wisconsin Death Trip" by Static-X plays, and out walks Blade with Dana Davis. ***
Papa: Well... Blade coming to the ring here without his tag team partner, Jack Frost... I don't know how WISE that is, considering what he is going up against here...
Crocker: Not wise at all Papa!!! But that's easy to explain... it's because Blade is a MORON!!!
O'Banion: And now... the other opponent... from some place called Elmira, New York... no way in hell will I call him Superstar... STEVIE GRAHAM!!!
*** Crowd pops as "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters plays, and out walks Graham... he's got his eyes locked on O'Banion, when... ***
Papa: HEY!!! WAIT A SECOND!!! Sneaking up behind Graham... BRUCE CORNEL!!! AND HE'S ATTACKING GRAHAM!!! What the hell???
Crocker: Where's the Saxist!?
Papa: Blade and O'Banion turn their attention to Cornell attacking Graham... and... wait a second!!! FROM THE CROWD!!! With the UOWN Universal title... THE SAXIST!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Crocker: Ha!!! IT WAS A SET-UP!!!
Papa: Blade has his back turned... as the Saxist... slides into the ring... grabs ahold of Blade's tights... and rolls him up from behind!!!
1... 2...
Papa: NO!!! Blade kicks out!!!
Crocker: Dammit!!!!
Papa: Well.. the UOWN's little plan didn't work!!! Boom is outside the ring... telling Dana Davis to watch where she steps... as now... the Saxist throws Blade into the ropes... BLADE DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE!!! Rebound and... WHAM!!! BLADE WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!!!
*** The crowd pops! ***
Papa: The Saxist down... Blade... off the ropes... LIONSAULT!!! And... O'Banion... hesitant to make the count!!!
1... 2...
Papa: THAT WAS SLOW!!! Blade could have had it won right there!!! O'Banion playing dumb... but... forget about in the ring for a moment... on the ramp... Bruce Cornell... has Graham... high above his head... LOOK OUT!!! OH!!! DROPS HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE GUARDRAIL!!! Come on!!!
Crocker: This is great!!!
Papa: Both O'Banion and Boom, turning a blind eye to that beating... ringside enforcer my ass... meanwhile, back in the ring... the Saxist and Blade are trading shots here... Blade... blocking a right hand... pulling the Saxist in for a headlock... wait... Sax... lifts Blade... belly-to-back suplex!!!
Crocker: Blade got dropped right on his head!!!
Papa: The Saxist... grabbing ahold of Blade's leg... lifting it and... BAM!!! Right into the mat!!! Lifts it high again... and... BAM!!! Drills the knee to the mat once again!!!
Crocker: Take that wheel out, Sax!
Papa: The Saxist now... has Blade up... lifts him... OH!!! Drops the leg right onto his own knee!!! Saxist is really working Blade's leg over here!
Crocker: He's a technician Papa!!! Weaken one body part, and then, DESTROY IT.
Papa: The Saxist... now... dragging Blade... dragging him over to the corner... and... oh no... LOOK AT THIS!!! FIGURE-FOUR AROUND THE RINGPOST!!!
Crocker: Yeah!!! That'll finish him!!!
Papa: And... look at O'Banion... he's not doing a damn thing about it!!!
Crocker: Ah ha... exactly Papa... because in the UOWN... that hold is LEGAL!!!
Papa: What!?!
Crocker: It is!!! So OB doesn't have to make the Saxist do ANYTHING!!!
Papa: Well that's just not right... HEY!!! WAIT A SECOND!!! Boom has ahold of the Saxist... HE'S PULLING HIM OFF OF BLADE!!!
Crocker: WHAT?!?!
Papa: The Saxist... up and in Boom's face... Boom looks a little confused... as O'Banion slides out of the ring, getting between his two UOWN soilders...
Boom: That's not legal!!!
O'Banion: What!?!? Are you kidding me???
Saxist: This idiot...
Boom: I'm supposed to be impartial!
O'Banion: LISTEN... just stand here... and don't do ANYTHING. Got it?
Boom: But...
O'Banion: GOOD.
Papa: Well... O'Banion defused that situation... back on the entrance ramp... Cornell is still handing it to Graham... he's got the superstar up... and... sending him into the barricade... NO!!! Graham reverses!!! Cornell hits the barricade!!! Graham... rears back... STEVIEKICK!!! Steviekick right under Cornell's jaw!!!
Crocker: Dammit!!!
Papa: And Cornell is down!!! Graham now... working his way to the ring... where the Saxist has Blade down in a chinlock...
Crocker: Uh oh...
Papa: Graham... in the ring... Saxist getting up... BAM!!!! Graham rocks him with a right hand!!! BAM!!! There's another!!! BAM!!! Another!!! Saxist... falls back into the corner... Graham... grabs ahold of him... HARD IRISH WHIP into the opposite corner... and... Graham charging in... BAM!!!! Clothesline!!!
Crocker: Graham's come alive here!
Papa: Graham... turning his attention to O'Banion... lunges and... HA!!! Graham only faked it... but look at O'Banion... he's cringing on the mat!
Crocker: That's not funny!
Papa: Graham... has ahold of the Saxist... pulls him in... and... POWERBOMB!!! And the cover!!!
1.... 2....
Papa: Saxist kicks out! Blade still down in the corner... as Graham lifts the Sax up... going for a German suplex... and... NO!!! Saxist... rolls forward!!! That's a pin!!!
1.. 2..
Papa: And a kickout!!! A faster count by O'Banion there, so it seemed...
Crocker: Hey!!! O'Banion is being fair Papa... he counted two on the Saxist after that powerbomb, didn't he?
Papa: Well... true enough... but something STINKS here Crock, trust me. The Saxist now... in control here... he's got Graham... snap suplex!!! Lifting him up again... another snap suplex!!! And... lifting him up one more time... looking for a third... NO!!! Graham wraps his leg around the Sax's!!! He blocks it!!! Sax tries again... NO!!! Graham's got it blocked!!! Graham... ducking low... and... backbodydrops the Sax over the top rope!!! But... WAIT!!! SAXIST WITH A TARANTULA!!!
Crocker: Yes!!!
Papa: And O'Banion... not calling for a break... I guess that is legal in the UOWN too, eh Crock?
Crocker: Of course! Any submission that the Sax uses is!
Papa: The Tarantula... a submission hold that is near impossible to escape... wait a second... Blade has gotten back to his feet... he's charging across the ring and... WOAH!!! LEAPS OVER THE ROPE... pulling Saxist off of Graham... and to the arena floor with a bulldog!!!
*** Crowd pops as Saxist's face SLAMS onto the floor. ***
Papa: My god!!! The Saxist... his face is bleeding... nose gushing blood... that move broke it!
Crocker: Dammit! Now THAT can't be legal!!!
Papa: Blade now... getting back into the ring... O'Banion admonishing Blade for that one... but Blade paying no attention... he's going right for Graham... lifting the Superstar up... sending him into the ropes... EL PUKEY!!! And the cover!!!
1.... 2....
Papa: Graham kicks out!!! Blade... in control here though... lifting Graham back to his feet... and... trying to wrap him in the pendulum... NO!!! Graham pushes off!!! Blade goes sternum first into the ringpost!!! Graham... grabs ahold of Blade... pulls him back and rolls him up!!!
1.... 2....
Papa: And Blade kicks out!!!
Crocker: This is getting too close here...
Papa: Yes... for the UOWN... because even with the Saxist on the floor... he can still lose his title!!!
Crocker: Which isn't right! Isn't there a UOWN rule about triple threat matches?
Papa: God I hope not... but Graham and Blade here... they are trading right hands... the Saxist, bleeding pretty profusely, is on the arena floor still... Graham now... has Blade... lifts him up... VERTICAL SUP--- NO!!! Blade slips out!!! And... BAM!!! Pulls Graham down for a neckbreaker!!! Cover!!!
1...... 2......
Papa: KICKOUT!!! Man... SLOW count there! Blade arguing with O'Banion... O'Banion... turning his back to Graham so that he can jaw with Blade... and... HEY!!! Wait a second!!! Bruce Cornell... he's getting back into the ring... and... HE'S GOT GRAHAM BY THE NECK!!! COME ON!!! CHOKESLAM!!!
Crocker: YES!!! I love it!!!
Papa: Graham is down... Cornell exits the ring... and... now... O'Banion... turning a blind eye to that... checking on the Saxist!!! And... HEY!!! Blade's got the cover!!! Come on ref!!! Turn around and make the count why don't you!?!
Crocker: He's busy checking to see how the Saxist is doing!
Papa: O'Banion... not going to count that one at all... and... WAIT... FROM THE BACK!!! HERE COMES JACK FROST!!!
*** Big pop as Frost comes charging down the ramp! ***
Papa: The two biggest men in the GTW about to go at it here... BAM!!! Frost nails Cornell!!! BAM!!! Again!!! Has Cornell... OH!!! Sends him backfirst into the ringpost!!! And... wait a second... what the hell is O'Banion doing??
Ben Richmond: Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has just informed me... that Jack Frost has been EJECTED from this match!!!
Papa: What!?!? And Cornell can stay???
Crocker: He hasn't caused any trouble that O'Banion has seen, Papa!
Papa: What a load of crap!!! Security here to take Frost out... as meanwhile... back in the ring... Blade has Graham... off the ropes... SPRINGBOARD TORANDO DDT!!! THE COVER!!!
1.... 2....
Papa: NO!!! Cornell... from the outside... he pulled Blade out of the ring!!! And... wait a second... what the hell is Boom doing???
Richmond: Ladies and gentlemen... the ringside enforcer has just informed me... that Bruce Cornell has been EJECTED from this match!!!
*** Huge crowd pop! ***
Crocker: WHAT?!?!
Papa: HA HA!!!
*** The crowd is going nuts as O'Banion jumps out of the ring, trying to stop Frost from going after Boom... ***
Crocker: What the hell is Boom doing out there?!?!
O'Banion: BOOM!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO ANYTHING!!!
Boom: I'm just doing what you did boss!!! I thought I'm supposed to be impartial!!!
O'Banion: For christ's sake...
Papa: Ha ha... Boom... that moron... just got the Saxist's own trump card EJECTED!!! Ha ha ha... I love it... as security ushers Cornell out of here... Blade is back in the ring... as is Graham... AND the Saxist!!!
Crocker: We haven't seen all three of these men go at it at the same time yet!
Papa: Well... we're about to... as... THEY ALL CHARGE EACH OTHER!!! They meet in the center of the ring... BAM!!! Blade with a right hand to the Sax!!! BOOM!!! Graham kicks Blade in the back!!! OH!!! Saxist with a dropkick to Graham's back!!! Blade... grabs the Sax from behind... Sax with a reversal, go-behind of his own... runs towards the ropes... he and Blade both bounce off... and Sax pulls him back into a pin!!!
1.. 2..
Papa: NO!!! WOW... that was a FAST count!!!
Crocker: No way!
Papa: Sax... turns back to Blade... OH!!! Graham out of nowhere with a flying forearm!!! Cover!!!
1... 2...
Papa: And Blade breaks it up! Blade meets Graham as he gets to his feet... into the ropes... OH!!! Dropkick by Blade!!! Graham falls back to the corner... Blade charges in... NO!!! Graham avoids a Stinger splash!!! Blade stumbles back... right into Graham's arms... GERMAN SUPLEX WITH A BRIDGE!!!
1... 2...
Papa: And the Saxist breaks that one up!!! Sax and Graham now trading shots in the center of the ring... wait... Blade is back up.. charges both... WHAM!!! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!! And now... ALL THREE MEN ARE DOWN!!!
Crocker: Wow!!! But... the Sax will still win!
Papa: O'Banion administering the count...
1... 2.... 3.... 4....
Papa: Man... these guys are tired...
5.... 6.... 7.... 8....
Papa: And... WOAH!!! MY GOD!!!
*** Big pop as ALL THREE MEN kick-up to their feet as the same time!!! ***
Papa: AND HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! Sax charges Blade... Blade ducks the clothesline!!! But Graham... charges Blade... WHAM!!! Clothesline!!! And he keeps on running... WHAM!!! Clothesline to Sax as well!!! Graham... waits for Blade to get up... oh no... perfect position for... WHAM!!! A STEVIEKICK!!! Cover!!!
1... 2...
Papa: NO!!! Saxist breaks it up!!! Graham... he and Saxist now... trading shots... Graham with the right hands... and... OH!!! Sax blocks!!! Armbar... pulls Graham in for a clothesline... Graham ducks it!!! Off the ropes... look out... layin the smackdown DDT--- NO!!! Sax gets the half-nelson on Graham!!! INTO A NECKBREAKER!!! THE DOWNBEAT!!!
1.. 2..
Papa: And Blade breaks up the quick count!!! Sax slowly getting to his feet... as Blade... bounces off the ropes... LOOK OUT!!! CUTTING EDGE!!! Blade... still groggy from that Steviekick... crawling back to the Saxist... COVER!!!
1... 2...
Papa: NO!!! Graham breaks that one up!!!
Crocker: It's finisher city here!
Papa: Indeed it is... as Graham... going back at it with Blade now... wait... the Saxist.. creeping up to his feet... climbing the ropes... as Graham... WHAM!!! KICK TO THE GUT!!! Pulls Blade in... oh no... here it comes... setting up for THE FLASH IN THE PAN!!!
Crocker: This could end it!!!
Papa: But Saxist... on the top rope... jumps across the ring... WHAM!!! NAILS GRAHAM WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM UP TOP!!! Graham falls back... but Blade... rolls forward... INTO A PIN!!!
1..... 2.....
Papa: And Saxist BARELY broke that one up!!!
Crocker: Barely?
Papa: Well... I doubt OB would have counted three... it was slow enough as it is... as the Saxist... has Blade... sends him into corner!!! Charging in... FLIP FOLDER!!!
Crocker: That's it!!! It's done!!!
Papa: No... the Saxist... not done yet... he sees Graham is down for the count... so... he lifts Blade up... sets him up... on the top rope in a sitting position... oh no... he's looking for...
Crocker: Yes! Yes! Yes! The climax, the grand finale Papa... THE SYMPHONY!!!
Papa: Saxist... that top-rope hurricurana of his... and... NO!!! BLADE BLOCKS IT!!!
Crocker: WHAT!?!?
Papa: Blade... had his legs hooked around the second rope...he wasn't going ANYWHERE... and now the Saxist is just dangling!!! But Blade... comes off the ropes now... still holding the Saxist by his legs... into... THE FINAL CUT!!!
*** Crowd pops as Blade cinches on his version of the Walls of Jericho! ***
Papa: And... wait... O'Banion... turns his back... he's checking on Graham... and... meanwhile... look at the Saxist!!! SAX IS TAPPING!!! SAX IS TAPPING!!!
Crocker: Not if the ref doesn't see it Papa!!!
Papa: O'Banion... trying to help Graham to his feet for whatever reason... Graham... pushes O'Banion off... charging towards Blade and Sax and... OH!!! CLOTHESLINE!!! Blade knocked off... Graham... picks him up... GRAHAM CRACKER!!!
Crocker: Blade is down!!!
Papa: Blade is indeed down... and Graham now... picking the Saxist up... and... he's pointing up top!!!
Crocker: Uh oh...
Papa: Graham... going for... THE GRAHAM SLAM!!!
Crocker: Crap!!!
Papa: Blade is down... I think Graham... is going to Graham Slam the Saxist ON TOP of Blade!!! This... will END IT!!! He's got the Saxist in positon... and... NO!!! Sax with headbutt to the groin!!! And... MY GOD!!! BACKBODYDROP!!! And... Graham sent flying... OH MAN!!! HE CRASHED INTO O'BANION!!!
*** Big pop as the ref goes down!!! ***
Crocker: OH NO!!!
Papa: O'Banion is down!!! Graham... down as well... as is Blade... and the Saxist... the Saxist... taking aim for Blade... look out.... SOMMERSAULT LEGDROP!!! COVER!!!
Crocker: NO REF!!!
Papa: Saxist doesn't realize OB is down!!!
Crocker: NO REF!!!
Papa: Sax sees OB in a heap on the mat... and... he tells Boom to get his ass in the ring!!! Boom slides in... and counts it!!!
1... 2...
Papa: NO!!! BLADE KICKS OUT!!!
Crocker: DAMMIT!!! Boom is an idiot!!! All he had to do was jump in and count it... and it would have been over!!! All he's done this match is screw things up for the UOWN!!!
Papa: The Saxist... agrees with that sentiment!!! He's on his feet... screaming at Boom!!! Boom... taking the verbal abuse... as the Saxist... rears back... RIGHT HAN-- NO!!! BOOM BLOCKS IT!!! BAM!!!! BOOM CLOCKS THE SAXIST!!!
*** Huge pop as the Saxist falls back!!! ***
Papa: Blade... school-boys the Saxist from behind!!!
1... 2... 3!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Crocker: WHAT!?!?!?
Papa: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Richmond: YOUR WINNER... and NEW UOWN UNIVERSAL CHAMPION.... BRIIIIIIIIIIAN BLADE!!!
Papa: My god!!! I don't believe this!!! Boom... looks down at the Saxist... smiling!!! And... he's out of the ring... getting the UOWN title... and handing it right over to Blade!!!
Crocker: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING!?!?
Papa: Boom... raising Blade's hand... and... BOOM AND BLADE... THEY ARE HUGGING!!!
Crocker: What!?!? Wait a second...
Papa: I think... I think... I THINK THAT BOOM AND BLADE WERE IN ON THIS TOGETHER ALL ALONG!!!
Crocker: NO! NO! NO! NO!
Papa: Boom and Blade... exiting the ring together... the Saxist... he is PISSED... leaving behind them... and... wait a second...
Crocker: Oh no...
Papa: Back in the ring... both Stevie Graham... and Brian O'Banion... are getting to their feet!!!
Crocker: Oh no...
Papa: Graham... he sees that the match is over... O'Banion... he obviously does too... and... OH NO... he sees Graham still in the ring!!! Graham... WHAM!!! KICK TO THE GUT!!!! Pulls O'Banion in... FLASH IN THE PAN!!!
*** Crowd is going nuts as Graham talks trash to the now unconcious O'Banion!!! ***
Papa: Man oh man... can things get WORSE for the UOWN tonight???
*** Fade back to Longly's office, Nicky Nitro stands outside the door... when Longly, Davison, and Herr Professor emerge... all dressed in street clothes. ***
Longly: Well... Konrad... my friend. Have a nice flight. And be sure to write... good look at the University!
Konrad: A great partnership it haf been Trevor... und you, Ken... it vas nice to see you again as vell... gentlemen.
*** Konrad nods and walks off. ***
Davison: Well... Longly... good to see you again. I'm sure you've got business to attend to *looks towards Nicky Nitro*...
Longly: Yes Ken... (shaking hands) good to see you again as well... now... Nicky Nitro... I'm sure you want my comments on the UOWN's match? Well... after seeing what I saw there... I have decided... that absolutely ALL UOWN members have been barred from ringside for the GTW title match... the Saxist, Cornell, O'Banion... NONE of them will be allowed at ringside... AND... if any of them do... then XXX will be INSTANTLY STRIPPED of the title, and it will be awarded to SoulKen!!!
*** Crowd pops, as Nitro looks shocked, and Longly walks off. ***