DING DING DING!!!
Papa: Look at that…that must be the sickest sight I have ever seen.
Crocker: What did you expect from an electrified barbed wire rope, beds of glass, nails and lightbulbs, double hell, timebomb death match??? A rose filled garden?
Papa: NO…but Crock, this is a sickening display of sharp instruments that two men are about to use to try to end a feud that has spanned over two federations…and neither man may walk out of this match in the same condition that they were before…any sort of career ending injuries may happen…to be blunt, this could end in a disaster!!!
Crocker: No Papa, the real disaster here is the insurance premiums I had to pay to get this match off…and let me tell you, I want to see it be the most violent thing I have ever seen…cause I WANT my money’s worth!!!
Papa: Well…folks, to describe what we are seeing…the ropes have been removed from the ring, and two sides of the ring have had Barbed Wire strung up, laced so that a simple touch could set off an explosion! Two sides of the ring have no ropes or Barbed Wire…but fall off of them, and you’ll land in a sea of tangled barbed wire…that may also explode with just a touch. And, in that ring are two sandbox-like beds of glass, nails, and long fluorescent lighting tubes…this is going to be SICK!
Ben Richmond: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an ELECTRIFIED BARBED WIRE ROPE, BEDS OF GLASS, NAILS AND LIGHTBULBS, DOUBLE HELL, TIMEBOMB DEATH MATCH!!!
*** Huge Pop from the crowd who has seen this monstrosity just put up and who has seen the safety rails pulled back about 30 feet from the ring… ***
Richmond: This match is fought under standard death match rules…where the first man not able to answer a ten count will be the loser!!!! With that said, lets introduce the combatants!!! Introducing first, weighing in tonight at 251lbs, Thomas Stonfan!!!
*** Crowd Boo’s Stonfan who climbs into the ring and prompty flips off the crowd… ***
Crocker: Hmm, I don’t know if he’ll make much of his career if he keeps flipping off the fans…
Richmond: And his opponent, weighing in tonight at 283lbs…BRIMSTONE!!!!
*** Crowd pops for the lone brawler… ***
DING DING DING!!!
Papa: And this one is underway, Your brother, Evan Crocker, having the unenviable task of be the referee for this match…
Crocker: Eh…it’s good for him!
Papa: Right…Both men circling one another…OH! Brimstone trying to grab for one of the legs of Stonfan, but Stonfan wisely pulling back nefore Brimstone got it…both men still circli..OH! Stonfan throws a punch, but Brimstone ducks…and BAM! BAM! BAM!!! Stonfan rocked by those heavy blows…and Brimstone sends Stonfan towards the Barbed wire…NO! Reversal!!! And whoa!!! Brimstone manages to put on the brakes before hitting the wire!!!
Crocker: Oh c’mon…let’s get it on!!! These two need to start really taking the fight to one another!!!
Papa: Well, both men are dressed in more than their usual attire…both men knowing that clothing will help to lessen some of the effect…some…now both men are…Locking up!!! And…Stonfan comes away with a side headlock…Brimstone tries to push off…but NO! Stonfan hanging on…he doesn’t want to go off into that Barbed Wire! Brimstone…throwing a few shot to the kidneys of Stonfan, tries again, and YES! Stonfan pushed off, right towards the barbed wire…OH!! Stonfan ducking down…slides out of the ring, right under the Barbed Wire!!!
Crocker: See! That is the sign of a smart wrestler right there!!!
Papa: Yeah, Stonfan wasting little time showing us how smart he thinks he is by pointing to his head…BUT HE SHOULD BE WATCHING HIS OPPONENT!!! BAM!!! Brimstone with the Baseball Slide!!!
Crocker: HEY! That’s illegal!! He can’t attack from behind like that!!!
Papa: Crock, this is a DEATH MATCH!!! That is hardly a major offense…
Crocker: Yeah, but it’s just plain dishonorable…
Papa: Nevermind…Brimstone and Stonfan are both now out of the ring…Brimstone looking to collect Stonfan on the outside…dragging him back towards the ring…and OH! Brimstone trying to use that bottom strand of Barbed Wire to cut the head of Stonfan open!!! Stonfan, however trying to resist…both men having their hands HEAVILY Taped to avoid being ripped to shreds when dealing with that wire…BAM!!! Elbow shot by Stonfan forces Brimstone to let go…BAM! Brimstone’s head smacks the apron!!!
Crocker: They haven’t even done anything terrible yet!! This match is beginning to be a bit of a let down…
Papa: Stonfan grabbing Brimstone’s head and…OH!! Brimstone going forehead first into the barbed wire…And OH!!! He’s been busted open!!!
Crocker: Yeah, looks like he had some liquid courage too, cause he’s bleeding REAL good!!!
Papa: True, he’ll be wearing the crimson mask before to long…and now, Stonfan rolls him back into the ring, before sliding carefully under the Barbed Wire himself. Stonfan now getting his opponent up…and sends him…OH MY GOD!!!
*** BOOOOOM!!!! ***
*** Pop from the crowd! ***
Papa: MY GOD!!! Brimstone sent right into that barbed wire…and it exploded right as he ran into it!!!
Crocker: Well, that is the point!!!!
Papa: Brimstone’s shirt and pants holding him to the barbed wire…Stonfan pulling him down…and Evan Crocker start the count!!!
Papa: And somehow, somehow, Brimstone manages to stand back up!!! He’s not looking to good…his face, a bloody mess, his shirt torn to shreds...and he maybe bleeding from his back as well! And BAM!!! He’s floored by a Knee Lift by Stonfan!!!
Crocker: You forgot to mention how he is slightly burnt now as well...
Papa: CROCK!!! Stonfan now motioning towards one of those beds of...crap...and he’s...OH MY GOD!!! He’s going to Powerbomb Brimstone...NO!!! Brimstone cuts him low and...OH!!! Stonfan SUPLEXED ONTO THAT BED OF SHARP OBJECTS!!!
Crocker: Now THIS is what I paid to see!!!
Papa: Stonfan writhing in pain...looks like he got some glass stuck in his back...and he seems to be bleeding from there as well! Brimstone now reaching into the bed...pulls out a lighting tube...OH!!! Smashes it over the head of the dazed Stonfan!!! Stonfan goes down...and Brimstone follows...
Crocker: PAPA!!! You can’t call that!!! We’ll get pulled off the air for sure!!!
Papa: Not like THAT, moron...He’s grabbed Stonfan...to jam the remains of the lighting tube in his head!!! OH!!! Stonfan now bleeding from his forehead as well...and both men are not doing very well!!! Brimstone however, with the advantage...and OH MY GOD!!!!
*** BOOOOOOM!!!! ***
*** Pop ***
Papa: OH MY GOD!!! Brimstone just hurled Stonfan off one of the open sides...and Stonfan landed in that electrifed tangle of Barbed Wire!!! Referee Evan Crocker starting the manditory ten count...
Papa: And somehow...SOMEHOW...Stonfan manages to crawl out of that mess...and back into the ring before the count of ten!! I don’t mind tell you folks...this is BRUTAL!!! Brimstone, however, is not one to let a sleeping dog lie...and BAM!!! OH MY!!! Brimstone tearing away Stonfan’s Shirt...and now he’s ripping away at the flesh of Stonfan’s back with the lighting tube!!!!
Crocker: That’s going to leave a mark!!!
Papa: Mark? Mark??? That’s going to leave grade A battle Scars Crock...and now Stonfan has little to nothing to protect his back!!!
Crocker: I think Brimstone may of heard you...cause he’s hefting up Stonfan!!!
Papa: Yes he is...but for....OH MY!!! POWERSLAM ONTO THE BED OF CRAP!!!! Stonfan’s unprotected back slammed hard into that bed of glass and nails...and OH GOD!!! He’s just convulsing with pain!!!
Crocker: Yeah, but where is Brimstone going?
Papa: Brimstone has slid out of the ring...and he’s looking underneath for something...but what? He’s...Oh God...NO, NO, NO!!!!
Crocker: YES, YES, YES!!!!
Papa: BRIMSTONE HAS BROUGHT OUT A LADDER!!!! And he’s sliding it into the ring!!!
Crocker: Ooh...lets see how THIS turns out!!!
Papa: I can’t imagine what damage is going to be done with that...Brimstone now setting up the ladder...it’s facing one of the beds...oh god...you MUST be kidding me...Brimstone scoops up Stonfan...Ugh...slams him hard onto the bed of glas and nails once again...and STARTS UP THE LADDER!!!
Crocker: Oh my god...I can’t wait!!!
Papa: Referee Crocker has started a 10 count on the downed Stonfan as Brimstone goes up...he’s to 4 now...Brimstone at the top of the ladder....WAIT!!! Referee Evan Crocker just fell onto the mat...and OH MY GOD!!! It’s MR. X!!!! MR. X IS IN THE RING!!!
Crocker: Hmm, not surprising, he’s protecting his investment, and trying to get another...
Papa: X shaking the ladder...and OH NO...OH NO...OH MY GOOD LORD NO!!!!
*** BOOOOOOOM!!!! ***
*** HUGE POP ***
Papa: OH MY GOOD LORD!!!! BRIMSTONE FELL OFF THE LADDER AND LANDED ON THE BARBED WIRE!!!!
Crocker: Yeah, and I can’t see to good, because of the angle, but I think that Brimstone may of torn his arm open landing that fall...
Papa: GOOD GOD MAN!!!!
Crocker: Yeah...that’s pretty bad...
Papa: X now trying to help Stonfan to his feet...Stonfan’s back...OH God...it’s just a bloody mess...
Crocker: Much like raw hamburger...
Papa: CROCK!!! Please!! And now...Mr. X and Stonfan are...leaving???
Crocker: I guess they think that they have won?
Papa: I don’t know about that...Mr.X and Stonfan going into the back...and I don’t see them anymore...wait...what the...OH MY GOD!!! That isn’t....
Crocker: OH...but it is...
Papa: STONFAN BRANDISHING THE BAT HE USED AGAINST BRIMSTONE IN THAT FAMOUS CAGE MATCH!!! AND IT’S BEEN WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!!!
Crocker: Yeah...but look what X has!!!
Papa: Oh my god...folks...that isn’t...IT IS!!!! IT’S A DAMN TABLE WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE WITH GLASS LIGHTING TUBES TAPED TO IT!!!
Crocker: Does the fun ever end around here???
Papa: I cannot imagine why they brought that out here...But now referee Evan Crocker starting to stir...Brimstone has barely moved at all, except to breathe...THIS IS SICK!!! Stonfan now rolling back into the ring, trying to get Evan up quicker to start his count...
Crocker: Good idea!!!
Papa: And here he goes!!!
Papa: AND WHAT THE HELL IS STONFAN DOING??? He just pulled Brimstone up!!! He was done for sure...and now Stonfan looking to inflict MORE punishment on Brimstone!!!
Crocker: Sure he is...this is DEATH MATCH after all!!!
Papa: But he had the match won!!! Stonfan obviously sick in the head...placing Brimstone against the Ladder...Mr. X looking on with a sick smile on his face...And...OH NO...YOU ARE KIDDING ME!!!! Stonfan has his bat...and HE’S GOING TO TAKE BRIMSTONE’S HEAD OFF WITH IT!!!
Crocker: Oh goodie!
Papa: How can you...Stonfan winding up...DON’T DO IT!!!
Crocker: Even if he could hear you Papa, he probably would do it anyway...
Papa: I can’t watch, I can’t...WAIT!!! Someone coming out of the back...and BAM!!! He just nailed Mr. X!!!!
Crocker: WHAT??? Who is that???
Papa: Stonfan wanting to know as well...he’s calling out to the man...a rather large black fellow...and...OH MY GOD!!! Brimstone somehow managing to knock Stonfan down with a forearm to the back of the head!!!
Crocker: Again with the cheap shot from the back!!!
Papa: Stonfan down and Brimstone stomping away at him...and now...Brimstone calling out to the man outside the ring...who is dressed in wrestling gear...to give him something...Oh my god...WIRE CUTTERS!!! Brimstone has WIRE CUTTERS!!!
Papa: Brimstone cutting down some of that barbed wire now...and OH JESUS!!! He’s using it to whip Stonfan!!! OH MY GOD!!! Stonfan’s already bloodied back now just a total mess...and what’s he doing now??? OH MY GOD!!! He’s wrapping up Stonfan in the Barbed Wire!!!
Crocker: AHH! Gross!!! Stonfan’s got it stuck in him some good!!!
Papa: Meanwhile that black fellow...wait, getting word from the truck he’s called Homicyde...Well, that makes sense...is watching on...but OH!!! He turned to check on Mr. X...who just MACED him!!!
Papa: Homicyde now stumbling blindly...meanwhile, back in the ring...OH!!! Brimstone just suplexed Stonfan onto the downed ladder!!!
And now...Brimstone measuring...and BAM!!! Legdrop!!!
Crocker: Yeah, but Brimstone cut his leg pretty bad on the barbed wire wrapped around Stonfan!!!
Papa: That he did...both men down...Your brother starting a count...but wait!!! Homicyde thrown into the ring by Mr. X!!! Mr. X sliding in as well...and Now Brimstone is getting up!!! His hatred for his former manager shining through....he goes to attack...OH!!! He got Maced!!!
Crocker: HA!! He should’ve been paying attention!!!
Papa: Brimstone down on the ground clutching at his face...and now Referee Evan Crocker trying to get Mr. X out of the ring...and...OH MY GOD!!! Mr.X just maced Evan!!!
Crocker: Good!!! Serves him right!!!
Papa: CROCK!!! THAT IS YOUR BROTHER!!!
Papa: I can’t believe you!!! What must your family reuions be like???
Crocker: You know, they kinda remind me of this match...
Papa: Well, that explains a lot...Mr.X now...in control...everyone else is down...and Mr. X now rolling Homicyde to the side of the ring...OH NO!!! He’s going to try to push him off onto the last remaining bomb in the barbwire mess!!!
Crocker: Serves him right for getting involved!!!
Papa: What about X???
Crocker: Well, he is a manager, that is his job!!!
Papa: You are TWISTED, anyone ever tell you that??? Homicyde however, holding on for dear life, trying his best not to get pushed off...Stonfan now getting to his feet, his face a bloody mess...he sees X...OR DOES HE??? He’s running right for him...OH MY GOD!!!!
*** BOOOOOM!!!! ***
*** HUGE POP!!! ***
Papa: My god...Stonfan just baseball slide dropkicked by Homicyde and Mr. X into the final remaining bomb...and now Stonfan is the only man standing!!! But, I’ll bet it is a long time coming before Mr.X interfere’s again!!!
Crocker: Dammit!!! How could of Stonfan not of known???
Papa: Blood in the eyes I guess...but now that he has had a second, and wiped the blood from his brow...he see’s Brimstone..and BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! Stonfan wasting no time in laying shots to the head of the downed Brimstone!!!
Crocker: Uh Papa...
Papa: No time for you Crock...Stonfan getting Brimstone up, what is he looking to do here??
Crocker: Papa, there is something I need to call to your attention...
Papa: Don’t bother me...this is getting good...Stonfan sends Brimstone to the barbed wire...
Papa: Wha...OH MY...
*** BAAAAA_BAAA BAAA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! (aka the mother of all explosions) ***
*** HUGE CROWD REACTION!!!! ***
Papa: Oh my lord...I forgot...the TIMEBOMB JUST WENT OFF!!!! 140 C-4 explosives set around the ring...OH MY GOD!!!!
Crocker: I can’t see a damn thing Papa...all the smoke...this is just...good god...
Papa: Folks...I can’t...I can’t...I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THIS!!! I have seen a lot of wrestling, I have seen men bleed, I have seen brutality, I have called it all...BUT NOTHING I HAVE EVER SEEN EVEN COMES CLOSE TO THIS!!! NOTHING!!!!
Crocker: Yeah...this is amazing...
Papa: Crock...just shut up. I know these guys in the back, I have joked with them, talked with them, I have heard about their hopes, their dreams, their fears...and to see this, to be witness to them wantingly and willingly destroying themselves for the HATRED the feel for one another...I am shocked...I am amazed...I am Speechless!!! The smoke finally starting to clear...and OH MY GOD!!!
*** HUGE POP FROM THE CROWD!!! ***
Crocker: I don’t believe it...
Papa: BOTH MEN ARE STANDING!!! BOTH MEN, COVERED IN ASH, SOOT, GRIME, SWEAT, BLOOD...AND SOMEHOW THEY ARE STANDING!!!!
Crocker: Yeah...and STILL going toe to toe!!!
Papa: Both men trading rights...BAM!!! Brimstone with one! BAM! Stonfan with one!!! I can imagine what they must be thinking right now!!! I can’t even BEGIN to fathom where the energy is coming from!!!
Papa: Both men however, starting to wear down...and now...both men sort of slumped against one aonther...both trying to get that last reserve of energy for the final move to put away the other...and...OH!!! Brimstone going low!!!
Papa: Stonfan down...and OH GOD!!! Brimstone hoists him up...POWERBOMB INTO ONE OF THE BEDS!!! That must be it!!!!
Crocker: NO REF!!!
Papa: OH JESUS!!! Brimstone has this match won!!! Evan Crocker still out from the explosion!!! Dammit!!!
Papa: Brimstone trying to stir the ref...sees the ladder...oh no...no...no...No...No...No...NO!!!!
Crocker: OH YES!!!
Papa: OH MY GOOD LORD NO!!! BRIMSTONE PICKING UP THE LADDER AND SMILING!!! WHAT IN GODS NAME IS HE GONNA DO????
Crocker: Kill himself and Stonfan!!!
Papa: Brimstone grabbing the barbed wire bat of Stonfan’s and slowly climbing up the ladder...every rung must be agonizing...every movement painful...slowly he climbs...he’s almost to the top..he’s...WAIT!!! What is...Homicyde!!! He’s got Mr. X on that Barbed Wire, glass tube Table!!!
Crocker: Huh??? Why is he calling to Brimstone???
Papa: Well duh...HE WANTS BRIMSTONE TO JUMP ON HIM!!! And Brimstone...HE DOESN’T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO!!!!
Crocker: Well, come on...he should do Stonfan to win the match!!!
Papa: He can’t seem to decide!!!
Crocker: Decisions, Decisions...
Papa: And Brimstone now climbing to the top of the ladder...AND HERE HE GOES...TOWARDS MR.X!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Wha...NO!!! X MOVED!!! X MOVED!!!! BRIMSTONE GOES CRASHING THROUGH THAT TABLE MESS!!!!
Crocker: My god...I think that table just disintegrated...
Papa: AND BAM!!! X GOES LOW ON HOMICYDE!!! EVERYONE IS DOWN!!! I THINK BRIMSTONE MAY BE DEAD!!!!
Crocker: Well, he might...
Papa: AND EVAN CROCKER GETS UP!!! AND HE’S STARTING THE COUNT!!!!
Papa: Oh my god...Stonfan is stirring!!!
Crocker: And so is Brimstone!!!
Papa: Both men TRYING to rise...will either man...
Crocker: Both are up!!! Both are up!!!
Papa: BOTH FALLING OVER!!!! BRIMSTONE HITS THE GROUND...BUT STONFAN HITS THE LADDER AND STAYS UP!!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Papa: Oh my god...WHAT A GOD DAMNED NIGHTMARE!!! BODIES EVERYWHERE, EXPOLSIONS, ASH, SOOT...I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE JUST WITNESSED THE CLOSEST THING TO REAL WAR AS WE POSSIBLY CAN!!!
Crocker: EMT’s all over...what a mess...
Papa: This is carnage...folks...we need a few minutes to recover...to clear the ring...I don’t know what the hell is going to top this...we’ll be back...