I have found some quite good text messages to start off to whoever you want to piss off, and to make it slightly easier I have put em in Rude, Neutral and Love sections, cuz I am nice like dat:

Last nite i wantd u,needed u so badly dat it hurt,wantd 2 taste u,i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u,u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick,i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
Last nite i coodnt sleep,i wantd u warm against my skin,i wantd u on me,i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
CHINESE SUNDAY BUFFET MENU: *chu sum twat *suc mi pork *lic mi clit *tungsum chick *goo in hand *fuc sum now *gulp sum kum *cho kon it "ENJOY UR MEAL!
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
Sex is good,sex is fine,doggy style or 69,just for fun or getting paid,everyone likes getting laid! ?
little jack horner satin his cornerlicking his girlfriend dry, he stuck in his tongue, licked out some cum, and said fuck this is better than pie.
5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b’hind u 4)ur bestm8s a cunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!!
Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high!
Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it
Bak 2 bak,front 2 front,on d table,lick d cunt,stick it in,do ur ting,do it hard & make her sing,tense ur body feel d cum,den let it rip into her bum!
Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!

*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart,sexy,witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)
Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate,2 have & 2 hold,4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes,in text messaging & in poor signal,till low battery do us part?
THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT,PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN,WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE!
You’re Attractive, Gorgeous, Sexy,Intelligent, Smart,Charming, Sophisticated, Fit,Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!

As I lie awake in my bed,All sorts of thought run through my head,Like why do I love you as much as I do,Then I realise its because you are you
1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u,1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u,1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u,but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!
Ive got ur bak & uve got mine,ill help u out netime,2 see u hurt,2 see u cry,makes me weep & wanna die,ill b right here,til d end,cos ur my luv & my bestfriend
Im the strawberry & ur the cream :)