in the pit of me

In the pit of me....

It's not so pretty...

It isn't happy or there,

it's all dark,unprepared.

It shakes all with fear and dreads every move...

It takes all the beer

and uses it to proove...

what a fool I am in here,

what a mess I've made of life,

what a stupid person I belong,

what a waste of skin and strife.

The pit inside me mocks me,

and follows me to hell,

It calls me names

and kicks me...

and tells me not to win.

If I loose

it laughs hard at me,

calls me looser

fucking ghost,

this pit in me

takes over me,

when I need my body most.

It chases me into corners,

looses all my friends...

this pit in me,

It's not so pretty,

making shit that I can't mend.

This pit in me

I run from,

hiding and scared to look,

at all the mess it's caused me,

and how much time I took.

It reminds me of my

bad times,

And makes my stomach fall,

It pushes me under water

and makes me miss the ball.

If only I could find it,

this pit inside of me,

Kill it rather slowly

and give it to

somebody.

But no,

instead I walk on,

ducking swings and snarls,

Letting it walk over me....

with this pit

I won't get far.