Over My Back



I'm lying here, on this beautiful bright green grass, all alone. The few remaining morning droplets that were once in their millions glisten and smile at me, waiting for me to smile back. But I won't. Some things have happened to me lately that don't make me want to smile, no, they make me want to scream. "Hellooo Ree!Sorry my brother had to bring me now, he has an interview or something."It's Alice.Tall brown Alice.. "Alright Al..didn't see you there..here have mine.." I flick my neon green lighter, and set a glowing orange ball of anger at the end of Alice's cigarette. "Cheers" She smiles. My mind starts to wonder and I'm thinking back to the first time i ever tried cigarettes...ages ago.And dope... it's funny thinking of it like that, innocent and wrong...stupid - and I've still never coughed! Me with my four then closest school mates, Red, Fran, Lia and Alice. It was cold then, must have been November sometime. We all got on our coats and headed to the village park. Red being then the 'coolest one' had bought some and skinned up a very loose and short spliff.We all had a few tokes, and I don't actually remember it hitting me. We can't have taken it back right... then after that we went to Fran's old large house. We decided we had just got our first ever munchies and started eating a load of biscuits and drinking expensive stolen wine. That's when I told them all after visiting the toilet.."Wow, I'm not pregnent!", and them being all like, "what?!" That wasn't even my first scare either. I wasn't the first to loose my virginity, Fran was, with her first boyfriend who then moved to Belgium straight after. Then it was Red, with her replica boyfriend of Fran's,but Red still hasn't got laid, and that was a few years back. She's desperate now. If she wasn't so picky she could have anyone, she flirts so bad, loads of men love her, and she has the bust and face to do it. She annoys me now though..her fakeness and desperation...and popularity. I lost mine a few weeks after Red, then I fucked a couple more random blokes, from different countries. The one I shagged in South Spain, Chris, was half scottish so he could speak to me. We met when I travelled out alone to meet my friend Lucie in the summer holidays, I was 15 then. Lucie is a good person, she just lies.. ALOT, and can be extremely ANNOYING. She does annoy me, but that summer she was cool. Anyway this kid, Chris,on the first night in Valencia, I pulled. Lucie and her spanish girlfriend set me up with him.He was good looking,blonde..which usually means camp..but he had a big fast blue and orange motorbike. By the second night I had had sex with him..lifted the little cream skirt and tried a multitude of positions, which was fun. It was exploring my sex drive, and explore it we did! I do not regret that, it was fun, it was a new memory."Te Amo" He told me on my last night in spain with Lucie...meaning I love you.. of course. The first time I shagged somebody, I regretted it straight after, at some party, some kid, some woods. I forgot all about after a week, but for about a year later I was made fun of for it, reminded of the night, because noone else could get over it, even if I had. They were just a bunch of jealous virgins. I hated school, the popular ones were lame, perfectly lame. I was friends with them for the second last year, but then we christened them 'squelers' and they hated us. Not to our faces of course though. The geeks were my worst clique. I hate geeks they are so snobby toward anyone but their own breed. The 'bad' people I generally got on with better. My crowd was a posse of about 15-20 of us who spent every weekend smoking copious amounts of pot, drinking ALOT of beer and spirits, and getting through 20 cigarettes a night. Oh and we all pulled each other alot. That was great..No worries, no tears. Most weekends were spent in my room, or my garden, or camping somewhere random, graffiting and making mini mosh pits to loud metal and punk. I was strictly punk at first and am more or less punk now, but I did like a good metal riff or two. Amazing moshs in places like Ozzfest 2001, that was llluuushh, and seeing Deftones in London. At school we were known as the punky ones or whatever.. 'the hardcore crew' made me laugh. The second bloke I ever fucked was pure greek god. I was in love. Me and my best best best friend Ella both got it on witn these two greeks, both with the same name, Lefteris... now our code name for a fit male. That was beautiful. Sex on the Beach. Up until early this year I had never had sex on a bed! I have so many memories, all so good and so shocking to myself. "Sorry I came so early, When are we going to Town?" Alice breaks into my speeding thoughts, to discuss the nights plans. The sun is dipping below the shadows of giant trees and telegraph poles, and a slight breeze blows the creamy cigarette smoke into my eyes. I blink my brown eyes to get the poison out. "Um we will go as soon as Jake gets here.We'll get the booze in town aswell, I can't afford it in the Lawbourn." I reply, succeeding at a smoke ring to mark a fullstop at the end my sentence. "Do you love Jake?" Alice smiled. I never liked Alice until recently, now shes started coming out more, now school has finished. She worked too hard. At least she will get good results, unlike moi. "Yep.I love him" I stub my Marlboro out on the garden wall and lead Alice into my room. I put Anti-Flag on the player and spring onto my double Barbie bed. "Helloooooooo! Hi Alice," Jake jumps into my room and kisses me softly on the lips. "Smoke much?"He smiled at me. "Yeh I didn't need it I wanted it."I smirk. "whatevverrr girlfriend" He mimicks a Riki Lake voice. "LETS GO!!" I shove on my trainers and graffitied satchel and head out my door singing along to 'Captain Anarchy'.Jake grabbs my waist and follows me out, with Alice and her Vodka close behind.***** We get to the Lawbourn Arms at 8, and have to pay a quid extra becuase its late. The band have already started playing, and the fake girls have started socialising, ignoring the music, Red being the lead annoying one. I hear a squeel and there's Ella, with her big big pink shoes, and a pink frindge. Shes tiny, but not that tiny, or she'll hit you."Ello Reeee! Ello Alice! Jake!!" She is obviously pissed already, on the few half finished pints she blaggs from random men. "The band any good?" I shout over the very large lead singer. "Yeh theyre wicked! The next band are shit though, we are going to the park to get cained" She shouts back. Her big big pink shoes stamp off to a group of skaters who she starts to flirt with.I know I hate fakers, and Ella is acting like one, But she does love the music and it is only cuz she is very bladdered. I give Jake a long messy kiss and a pinch on his fine arse and order three fosters. We sit down, wedging in with about 20 punks, goths and bikers we know, and all light up a cigarette from Jakes pack of 20 Royals. Thats when I realize, SHIT I have