Goku as a reporter

“What a terrible outfit!” Goku said. He gave his comments on the weather reporter. He and Goten were watching the bulletin of news. “And that voice!” Goku continued.

“Dad! Stop that.” Goten said.

“What is it son?”

“Your comments. They`re annoying.”

“No, they`re the truth. Look at him!” Goku pointed at the television.

“Why don`t you try it?” Goten asked.

“Try what?”

“Try to be a reporter.”

“Goten, why should I?”

“You always criticize those people. I wanna see, if you can do it better than them. You always say you can.” Goten had an innocent look on his face.

“No, I don`t want to do that.” Goku crossed his arms.

“Are you a chicken? Pokpok pok.” Goten walked like a handicapped chicken around Goku.

“No, I am not a chicken.”

“Then proof it.”

Alright! I`ll be a reporter.” Goku sighed.

Chi Chi entered the room.

“Mommy!”

“Yes, what is it Goten?”

“Dad`s gonne be a reporter!”

Chi Chi looked at Goku. “Is that true?”

“Yes, I gues.” Goku muttered.

“That`s wonderful! I`m so proud! When are you going to start?”

“He`s going to start tomorrow.” Goten said.

“No, Goten. I`m not going to start tomo…….” But he was interrupted by Goten.

“Pokpokpok pok pok.” Goten started walking like an idiot again.

“Good, alright. I`ll go tomorrow.” He sighed. ‘God, now I don`t have a choice.’ Goku thought

‘Good, now he doesn`t have a choice.’ Goten thought. “GOHAN!” He yelled upstairs.

“WHAT IS IT?” Gohan yelled back from his bedroom.

“Goten?”

“Yes, mommy.”

“STOP YELLING!” Chi Chi shouted.

“WHY?” Goten squalled back at her.

“Because, you`re hurting my ears.”

“Sorry.”

“It`s oke.”

“WHAT`S GOING ON?” Gohan entered the livingroom.

“Gohan, STOP YELLING! You`re hurting mam`s ears.” Goten said.

Chi Chi sighed.

“Dad`s gonna be a reporter!” Goten smirked.

Gohan looked at his father. “Dad, youhaha you`rehahaha going to bhahahaha!” Gohan was unable to finish the sentence. He was rolling on the ground from laughing. “You crack me up.” He said.

“Gohan, that is not a nice thing to say.” Chi Chi said. “Goku`s gonna be a great reporter!”

“Yeah, right.”

“Gohan!” Chi Chi glared at her son.

“Sorry.” Gohan chuckled.

‘What the hell have I done to deserve this?’ Goku thought. ‘I don`t want to be no reporter! Well, I`ll just try the best I can. I don`t have much of a choice now, do I? No, guess not.’

The next day.

It was almost noon when Goku was flying towards Safe Studios. ‘I really don`t want to do this.’ He thought while searching for his destination. Suddenly, he saw a huge building rising up in front of him. ‘Ah, I found it.’

Goku landed in front of the studio and went inside.

“You must be mister Goku.”

Goku turned around and found himself staring at a beautiful secretary with red hair.

“Well? Are you mister Goku?”

Goku regained his composure and started to speek. “Yes, I`m Goku.”

“Good.” The secretary smiled. “Room 55, second floor.”

“Where do I find that?” Goku asked.

“Second floor.”

“Ofcourse.” Goku went on his way. He found it rather quickly and entered the room without knocking. He started walking inside, but forgot to let the door go after he had opened it. Now, he was walking with a whole door in his right hand.

A little guy with a huge moustache looked up to see who it was. “Ah, mister Goku. Please come on in.” He said friendly, completely missing the fact that Goku already was inside. Then, he got sight of ‘Goku`s’ door.

“Emh, mister Goku?”

“Yes?”

“You, eh, are still holding my door.”

“Really?” Goku took a look at his right hand. “Well, what do you know. You`re right! Sorry about that.” And with that, Goku threw the door away, not caring of where it might land. The door went through an entire wall and landed in the room besides the room Goku was standing in.

“Oops, sorry about that too.” Goku had a guilty look on his face.

Moustache man (he`s called moustache man by most of his colleagues, so I thought, why change a good thing?) got very terrified. ‘Man, he`s strong! I better nog get in his way! I better do as he says.’ He thought.

“So?” Goku asked.

“Eh, what do you mean?”

“Am I hired?”

‘God, I better not refuse.’ Moustache man thought. “Yeah, sure. You`re hired. Be here tomorrow, ten A.M.”

“Got it.” Goku powered up and flew away.

The next day. A few minutes before ten A.M.

“Right here?”

“Right there.” Moustache man was giving Goku directions of where to stand in front of the camera.

“Oke, Goku?”

“Yes?”

“Remember. You have to do the weather forecast. You have to say what the weather`s gonna be the next four days.”

“Easy.” ‘I can do that.’ Goku thought.

Meanwhile, Chi Chi, Gohan and Goten couldn`t wait to see Goku doing the weather forecast. The bulletin of news was about to start so they had already turned on the television.

‘He`s going to mess up. I`m sure of it.’ Gohan thought.

Back at the studio.

“Oke, ready Goku?” Moustache man asked.

“Ready.”

“Oke, five, four, three, two, one. Action.”

“Goodmorning everybody. My name`s Goku and I`m going to do the weather forecast today.”

“Hmm, so far so good.” Chi Chi thought.

“The weather for tomorrow is……..” ‘Hee, cool. I can see my reflection in the camera!’ Goku thought. ‘Wauw, am I wearing a nice suit, or what? I wonder if this jacket has any pockets on the inside.’

“Mam?”

“Yes, Goten.” Chi Chi answered.

“Why did dad stop talking?”

“I have no idea.”

Suddenly, they saw Goku taking out his jacket. After that, he began to study the inside of it, but he couldn`t find what ever he was looking for. ‘Blasted. Ah, well. I better continue.’ Goku put his jacket back on. “The weather for tomorrow is going to be…..SHIT! Now I have to cancel my fishing appointment. It`s going to rain THE WHOLE TIME!”

“I knew it! I knew it!” Gohan yelled while pointing at the television the whole time.

“Ah well, the weather for Wednesday is going to be…eh….eh, well…eh…hmmmm.” Goku looked at moustache man. “Hee, psst.” He whispered. “What does this symbol mean?”

 “Wind.” Moustache man whispered back.

“Ah, now I see.” Goku smiled. “It`s going to blow nine times, Wednesday.”

Moustache man looked like he was going to die. ‘It`s going to blow nine times? What an idiot!’

“Thursday, the weather is going to be nice. The sun…..” Goku disappeard from the screen.

“Mam, where did dad go?” Goten asked.

“I don`t know, honey.” Chi Chi said.

Suddenly, they heard Goku speak. “Here, kitty kitty. Come, kitty kitty.”

Goku had seen a cat walking by and wanted to pet it.

“GOKU!” Moustache man got all red in the face.

“Yes?” Goku said while petting the cat. “Hehe, you like that, don`t you kitty?”

“Goku, I`m taking over. You suck!” Moustache man took place in front of the camera. “Hello, everybody. My name`s Hector and I`m taking over Goku. He`s very busy at the moment. He`s playing with Whiskey, our studio cat.”

“Oh, that jerk! How can he just replace my dad like that? I`ll show him.” Goten was about to fly away, but was stopped by his mother.

“No way, are you going to leave, mister!” Chi Chi glared at her son. Reluctantly, Goten sat down again.

Hector (hee, I can`t keep calling him moustache man all the time, now can I?) went on with his story. “Wednesday, there`s a pressure of three atmospheres coming our way.”

Goku was still playing with the cat. ‘Hmmm, I wonder if you can fly. Well, there`s only one way to find out.’ Goku grabbed the cat and started to swing it from front to back a couple of times before throwing it away. Hector was still talking in front of the camera.

“The pressure will cause…”

“MIIIAAAAAAUUUUUW!” The cat flew right between Hector and the camera.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Hector screamed and looked at Goku who stood next to him with one hand above his eyes, following the cat who was still flying.

“FLAP WITH YOUR PAWS!” Goku yelled.

The cat landed in a huge cake and started to eat the whipped cream off of it.

“OH MY GOD! That cat is eating our cake!” Hector was shocked.

At the son`s resident, Gohan laughed his ass off. He was laughing so loud, that he hardly had the time to breath, so he was turning a little blue in the face. Goten hit him, and Gohan stopped laughing. He got his own colour back.

“I told you, didn`t I?” Gohan said with a smirk. “I told you he would mess up, and he did. He messed up big time.”

“Gohan, stop that. You shouldn`t talk about your father that way.” Chi Chi said. “At least he tried.”

Back at the studio, Hector was very mad at Goku. He yelled, and screamed, and hit Goku as hard as he could. Ofcourse, this didn`t have any effect. But, Hector`s a good man, so he gave Goku another change. He let Goku do a story about the inside of a very odd building. It `s a very famous building and today, it excists fifty years. Every one important lives inside of the building. It was called: The Rock. Within an hour, Hector and Goku were inside of The Rock and Hector started giving Goku instructions again. He told him what to say, what to do, and most importantly, what NOT to do. Goku was not allowed to through cats, take of his clothes and talk nonsense. A few minutes before Goku had to begin, he called Chi Chi and told her that Hector had given him a second change. Chi Chi turned on the television again and Goku took his place in front of the camera.

“Ready?” Hector asked.

“Ready.”

“Oke, five, four, three, two, one, action.”

“Hello everybody. My name`s Goku and right now, I`m standing inside of the most famous building: The Rock. As you can see…” Goku started to wobble. “Is this the most expensive building ever built. Ehm, eh…” Goku crossed his legs. “Man, I`ve got to pee!” Goku ran towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came out. With a satisfied smile on his face he continued. “Hundreds of men helped creating The Rock. The construction is very complex and very stable. However…” Goku got sight of the candy store in the building. “CANDY!” Goku literally ran to the store. He stuffed his mouth and went back to the camera. He began to speak while still eating. “Hovever, smak chew smak, vhen it vains, vou van`t, chew chew, vear vte, smak, otver veovle. Man, vtis vandy vaste vood! Smak smak. And with a giant gulp Goku swallowed the candy. “There.”

Hector pulled Goku away from the camera and lectured him before sending him away. Hector finished the story himself.

Goku powered up, and flew away. When he got home, Chi Chi embrazed Goku as if he had nearly died.

“What did I do to deserve this?” He asked.

“Hmmm, for trying to be a reporter.” Chi Chi pulled Goku closer to her body.

“Thanks dad.” Gohan said.

“For what?”

“For giving me such a good laugh. Man, you were funny!” Gohan started to chuckle again.

“Why didn`t you kill Hector, dad?” Goten asked.

“Goten, why should I?”

“Vegeta would.”

“What has Vegeta got to do with this?” Goku had a strange look on his face.

“Well, he called.” Goten said.

“VEGETA CALLED?” Goku was stunned.

“Yes. He left you a message.” Goten started to read from a crumpled bit of paper. “Stupid Kakkarot. What the hell are you doing? You`re a sayjin, you are much stronger than most men (except me ofcourse), so you`re suposed to kill people and you are definitly not suposed to be some low class stupid reporter. I hope, I never have to see your ugly face again. Vegeta. By the way, you did a lousy job. You were pathetic.”

“Yep, that`s Vegeta.” Goku said.

“Don`t worry about it, honney.” Chi Chi was still hugging her husband.

“So, when do we eat?” Goku asked.

Chi Chi sighed. “In about half an hour.” She let go of Goku and headed for the kitchen.

‘What a great wife I have.’ Goku thought and followed Chi Chi inside.

Goten was watching television again. This time, there was a movie on: The Matrix.

Goku took a look at the movie. “God, what a lousy actor.” He said. “Just listen to that voice. It`s horrible! And the way he actst! Even I can do that better than him.”

“Why don`t you try it then?” Goten asked.

“Who, me?”

“Yes, you dad. You`ve already been a reporter, so why not an actor?

“No Goten.”

“Are you chicken?”

“Goten, I`m not chicken, but I don`t feel like being an actor.”

“Pok pokpok poooooooooook!” Goten said.

“This time, I`m not going to fall for that.” Goku crossed his arms.

“Daddy is a coward! Daddy is a coward! Daddy is a….”

“Alright, alright. I`ll do it.”

“YES!” Goten yelled.

‘Oh god, here we go again.’

Hee everybody. Dieuwke here. Hope you liked it! I always say that, don`t I? Ah well. There, I said what I wanted to say. You see, usually I talk waaaaaaaay to much, so this time is going to be different. This time, I`m going to shut up, when I`m done talking. And I know that when I talk to much, I usually speak nonsense. Yesterday, for example… HO! I`m already talking to much. Blasted. I thought this time was going to be different. Well, to late. Sigh.

A lot of love and kisses from me.

Dieuwke.

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