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Diary. Sunday. 10 A.M. After
a very long time I…Hmm, I don`t like the way this pencil writes. Wait
a second, I…Ah, I see another pencil. There, much better. Now, where was I? Oh, yes I know.
After a very long time I decided to keep a diary. We just had breakfast.
Ofcourse, Goku ate everything he saw. And who had to clean up the mess?
Yes, me. I`ll teach him that baka! I`m a woman, not some sort a slave
or something. I`ll atack him…I think you don`t write atack with one
t. Let me look it up. Yes, I was right! Attack is with TWO t`s. I`m
such a genius. Sigh. As I was saying, I`ll attack him from behind and
I hit him on the head. Oops, he`s a sayjin! I can`t hit him! It wouldn`t
affect him the least! Hmmm, ah well, I`ll try it anyway. 10.10 A.M. Oke, my attack didn`t work. I hit him and you know what he said! "Hmmm,
nice Chi Chi. A little to the left." That jerk! I wonder how Bulma`s
doing. I can`t belief she`s with Vegeta! What the hell is it that made
Bulma decide to marry him! I can`t think of anything. Ofcourse, he`s
got this great body and…what the hell am I doing? I`m with Goku! Oke,
I`m back to normal. Phoe, close one. Maybe I`m to negative about things.
Hee, I know! Today, I`m thinking positive about everything. When something
bad happends, instead of mocking, I`ll try finding something positive
about it so I`ll be happy again! Yes, that`s a great idea! 11.00 A.M. I`m soooo bored! Nobody wants to do something nice with me! I…oh, blasted!
I have to think positive. Ehm, oke. I`m happy again. 11.30 A.M. Still bored. I asked Goku to do something nice. A game for example. You
know what he said! "Not now Chi Chi. Today, I`m reading a book."
Since when does he read books? Yesterday, he ate one! And now he`s reading
one? Pfff, today I`m reading a book. Yeah, right. Hehe, I wonder what
he`s going to do when he`s got to pee. He can`t go to the bathroom,
because if he does, he`s not reading a book anymore, and that can`t
be because it`s still ‘today’. 2.00 P.M. Aaaaaaaaaaarh! He`s still reading that stupid book! "What are you
gonna do when you`ve got to pee?" I asked him. "Why?"
He didn`t even look at me when he asked that! How rude. "Well,
you said that today, you would read a book. And it is a fact that you
can`t pee AND read a book. So, if you do pee, and it`s still today,
then…ehm. Well, how are you gonna solve that?" I was very satisfied
with myself for saying that. ‘Ha, I wonder what he`s going to do.’ I
thought. You know what he did? He walked to the bathroom, still reading
the book. He started to pee (I could here that) and he STILL read the
book! Man, I can`t stand that! After he was done, he walked to his chair
and sat down, still reading ofcourse, sigh. But, haha, Goku (having
a brain the size of a peanut) PEED on his book! He couldn`t aim with
his…ehm…you know what, while he read the book! The book was soaking
wet! (And a bit smelly.) I asked him how the hell he could read a book,
that became impossible to read, because he urinated it all over. "I
can read this just fine." He said. "Then, why are you reading
the book upside down?" I asked. He threw the book away and a very
satisfied feeling entered my body. Goku, zero. Chi Chi one! Haha. 3.00 P.M. My hair`s a mess! Aaaarh! 8.00 P.M. Gohan and I are going fishing. I don`t want to, but hee, he`s still my
son so I said yes. We`re leaving in about ten minutes. Oh god, I forgot
to think positive the entire day! Ah well. 8.30 P.M. I`ve got a fish! I`ve got a fish! Gohan`s got 25 fishes, but that doesn`t
matter. I`ve got a fish! Hehe. 9.00 P.M. Oh my god! I almost killed a fish! Oh, bah! My hands smell! 10.00 P.M. I`m going home. I don`t like this fishing thing. I caught this really
big fish, but it was too strong so it pulled me into the water. I`m
so wet! Oh god! My hair!! 11.45 P.M. Hihi, Gokussoooooosweeeeet. Hemade mee noo gafe me some wine. Hihi. Veery
good wine. Pfff, thinkI`m gooingto haave seks wit him. Hihi. Ooooh,
Idont feel sso great. Monday. 8.00 A.M. Oh, my head! What happened? Oh, I remember. Hihi, I had a bit to much
wine. Goku had to carry me to the bed. I wanted to have sex. At least,
that`s what I remember. Now, did we have sex? Or did we not. Hmm, I`ll
have to ask that husband of mine about this. 8.20 A.M. I am sooo ashamed! When Goku…ehm…entered me, I fell asleep! Oh god. And
to make things worse, Goku had this really stupid grin on his face when
he told me I fell asleep. Oh, I think I`m gonna have a headache. 4.00 P.M. I`M SO ANGRY!!! Vegeta read my diary!!! He and Bulma dropped by at 2.
P.M., and Vegeta found my diary under my bed. I don`t know what the
hell he was doing there. He read everything and laughed very loud at
the part that I…eh…well, fell asleep when I was not suposed to sleep.
He told Bulma too, and she tried not to laugh, but failed. She and Vegeta
had to hold each other to prevent themselves from falling. This was
a horrible situation. I better make diner ready. Vegeta and Bulma left
ten minutes ago. 7.00 P.M. Grrrrrr, Goku invited Bulma and Vegeta over. AGAIN! They should be here
in…oh, they`re here. How am I ever going to face Vegeta again? What
the fuck? Vegeta threw our door away! I`ll show him! Oh, it was an accident.
I hear Goku and Vegeta talking. Ah, it was our door`s fault. According
to Vegeta, our door is too ugly to keep its function as ‘door’. Jerk. 7.30 P.M. ‘Great’, Vegeta ‘asked’ me to get him something to drink. He wants…eh…hmm,
I better ask him what he wants. 7.35 P.M. Oke, he wants wine. At least, that`s what I think. He babbled a lot. Mostly,
about him being a sayjin and very powerfull. The part of him wanting
wine was a bit odd. He didn`t say what he wanted. He gave hints! It`s
a test, or something. He wants to test how smart I am. I hope it`s wine
that he wants. 7.45 P.M. Where is the corkscrew? 7.50 P.M. Oh, Vegeta`s getting impatient. 7.55 P.M. Ha, found it. 8.15 P.M. I HATE VEGETA!!! He wanted a coke! "Wine is for weaklings, like Kakkarot
for example." He said. And now, he thinks I`m an idiot! Oh, why
me? While I was busy getting Vegeta something to drink, Vegeta figured out
why I fell asleep during, you know what. He`s accusing Goku of having
a tiny…tiny…how can I say this properly? A tiny you know what. You know,
that thing hanging between his leggs. This is what he said. "No
wonder Chi Chi fell asleep. If I were a woman and something the size
of a cocktail stick entered me, I would fall asleep to." After
that, he explained to everyone how disgusting it would be, having sex
with Goku. No, Vegeta was sure of the fact that his body was far more
exciting than Goku`s. He told us some details about his ‘great’ body
that you really don`t want to know. But, when he told us how big his
thingy was, I couldn`t help myself but staring at it. Vegeta, ofcourse,
saw this. "See? Even Chi Chi wants me." Oh, if I had a gun,
I would have shot myself right in front of them. Sex with Vegeta! Bah!
How disgusting. Although, if it is true what he told us, then it wouldn`t
be so disg…wait! What the hell am I saying? I need some rest. 10.30. P.M. Vegeta and Bulma left. FINALLY! It`s not that I want Bulma to leave, but
I can`t stand Vegeta. The entire evening, I looked at Vegeta`s you know
what to see if it really was this big. Vegeta, now thinks I want to
have sex with him! No way! Although, he`s got this great…oh, now I`m
doing it again! I have to stop thinking about Vegeta`s body. It`s a
really bad habbit. I`m going to bed. Tuesday. 7.30 A.M. Oh, how disgusting! I just woke up and I looked at my pillow. I slobbered
it all over! It`s wet and very yakkie. 7.35 A.M. OH MY GOD!!! My pillow wasn`t the only thing I slobbered all over. It`s
on my face to! Bah, bah, bah! I need a shower. 8.30 A.M. I`m so beautiful! My hair`s great, I smell great and my outfit is great
too. Yep, Goku`s very lucky. 8.45 A.M. I`m ugly! Goku didn`t say a thing when he saw me. Pfff, hate men. 4.30 P.M. I`m so happy! Goku took me to the zoo today. Oh, it was great! Well, ofcourse
Goku did some stupid things, but I`ve had a great time. When we walked
to the tigers, Goku yelled: "Hee, wauw! Look at that dog! It`s
huge!" I explained to him that a tiger is not a dog, but Goku didn`t
listen. He jumped in the cage and walked towards the tiger. "GOKU!
NO!!" I yelled, but he didn`t hear that. Or he did hear it, but
didn`t pay attention to it. That`s possible. When Goku stood right in
front of the tiger, he said: "Paw." The tiger looked at him
like Goku was going nuts. Goku tried it again and the tiger attacked.
He flapped with his paws to Goku`s face, but Goku, being a sayjin and
all, dodged it. Picture this, a furious tiger flapping with his paws
like an idiot and right in front of it, a moron who`s giving the tiger
orders. It was a really weird situation. Gohan and Goten were at Bulma`s.
Luckely, they didn`t see what their father did with the tiger. He`s
not such a great example for the children. 5.00 P.M. I really, really hate Vegeta! Goten and Gohan just came home, but when
I saw Goten, I was shocked! He`s got the same hairdo as Vegeta! His
hair`s standing straight up, pointing to the ceiling! And to make tings
worse, he`s smirking all the time! I hope this is just some kind a fase
he`s going through. Please, let it be a fase! 8.00 P.M. Gohan read my diary too! He found it under my bed (what the hell is everybody
doing under my bed?) and read everything. Maybe I should stop writing
in my diary. I don`t want everyone to know when I did what. Well, diary,
it was a pleasure writing in you. Thanks for reading! Dieuwke. ajtskin@planet.nl
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