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Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters on DB/Z/GT. I also don’t own the jokes either. If I did I would have been able to come up with funnier stuff. Nor do I own Ex-Lax or Rice Krispies.
A/N: Oh gomen nasai if you get offended by some of these! It was just an idea and when I put it into words…just read it please.
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Vegeta walked pass Trunks’ room to see him on the computer laughing his ass off. Vegeta wondered what on earth could possess him to laugh at a machine.
“What the hell are you laughing at brat?” Vegeta snarled.
“Oh nothing dad. I don’t think you’d understand this sort of humour.” Trunks said wiping a tear away from his eye.
“You think I wouldn’t be able to understand some pathetic joke cooked up by some poor excuse for a living being with too much time on their hands?” Vegeta shouted.
“The short answer being yes.” Trunks said.
“And the long answer?”
“Well…you try to apply logic to everything! You’d point out every single flaw that the joke had!”
“You never know! I may be able to crack a smile.”
“Yeah right.” Trunks said walking out of the room. Vegeta raised an eyebrow at the computer and sat down.
“How the hell do you work one of these things?” Vegeta muttered to himself. After twenty minutes of cursing, pulling out hair and blasting Trunks’ bed he finally got the hang of it.
“Now let’s see. Hmm.” He said as he scrolled down. “Ah! Here’s one! Yo mama is so fat when she puts clothes on they beg for mercy.” Vegeta just stared at the screen for several seconds and started laughing his head off. Bulma came rushing in to the room.
“What happened? Who died?” She asked.
“Does someone have to die in order for me to laugh?” Vegeta asked still laughing.
“You don’t want me to answer that question do you?” Bulma winced. Vegeta just snorted and continued reading and laughing. Bulma left him to the computer and started dinner. By the time she called Vegeta down for dinner he still hadn’t stopped laughing.
“Onna you know lots of people right? Then will you introduce me to this woman called Yo Mama? She has so many defects that I have to see her for myself.” Vegeta laughed. Bulma smirked.
“Vegeta, yo mama isn’t a person. It’s a short way of saying your mother.”
“WHAT THE HELL?? THAT BAKA MACHINE INSULTED THE FEMALE OF MY PARENTAL UNIT!! OHOHOO! THAT THING IS ALUMINIUM FOIL!” Vegeta said as he rushed upstairs to kill the computer but decided against it. He had other plans for these jokes of his.
Next morning…
Vegeta finished his training, wolfed down some breakfast and rushed out of the house without saying a word to anyone. He flew to Kame House to find his first targets.
“HEELOOOOOO!!! IS ANYONE THERE??!” Vegeta bellowed. Krillin stepped out of the house rubbing his eyes.
“Vegeta what do you want? It’s eight ‘o’ clock in the morning!!” Krillin said sleepily.
**Damn weak humans.** Vegeta thought to himself. “Actually I’ve come to talk to you.”
“Really? About what?” Krillin asked, obviously surprised that Vegeta wanted to even be on the same planet as him, let alone have a civil conversation.
“Well I just came to tell you that you are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your thoughts I’d get change back!!!” Vegeta said holding back the laugh. Krillin hated the fact that Vegeta called him stupid but he had to face facts, if came down to a fight Vegeta would win. Vegeta could see that this was killing Krillin’s self esteem and he loved every minute of it so he decided to lay it on thick.
“You’re so ugly you threw a boomerang and it didn’t come back!! You’re so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to you!! HAAAAHAHAHAAA!! You’re so ugly when you get up the sun goes down!! HAHA!! You’re so ugly they put your face on a bottle of Ex-Lax and sold it empty. HAHAHAA!” Vegeta felt like he was gonna pass out from laughter when Master Roshi came out. **This is to good to be true!!** Vegeta thought to himself.
“Hey Old Guy!! You’re so old that your birth certificate says EXPIRED. HAHAHAA!! You’re so old you remember when the Grand Canyon was a ditch!!! Both of you are so bald that I can see what’s on your mind! And believe me it ain’t much!! HAHAHAA!!” Vegeta howled. He was so engrossed in his laughter he let himself into a big trap when 18 came out.
“Hey Android!! You are sooo strong! Then again smell ain’t everything!! HAHAAAA!” Vegeta yelled. 18 became very angry and dove for Vegeta breaking his arm once again in the process. Vegeta screamed in pain and flew off.
“Till we meet again, dumb, dumber and baldy!” Vegeta said flying off to find his next victim.
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Vegeta flew to Goku’s house to try some of the jokes on him. **That bastard deserves it after what he’s done to me!! Wassup my ass!** Vegeta touched down in front of Goku’s house and called him out.
“KAKARROT!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!” Vegeta yelled. Goku walked outside and frowned.
“I have a name besides Kakarrot ya know. What do you want? I’m missing breakfast!!”
“You’re so stupid that I told you the drinks were on the house and you went and got a ladder!! HAHAHAA!! You’re so stupid they had to burn your school down just to get you out of second grade!!! HAHAAAA!!! You’re so stupid when your brat was born and you saw the umbilical cord you said ‘hey it comes with cable!’ HAHAA!!”
“Okay I have a few things to say to you. First of all no one in the right mind would put drinks on the roof! Second of all the school burnt down because I chi blasted it and last of all I knew it was the freakin umbilical cord!! You know Vegeta if you’re gonna play a prank on me at least let it have some thought behind it!” Goku said. Vegeta’s jaw left his face and became one with the floor. he couldn’t believe someone that stupid could even understand those jokes!!
“Alright then! Your wife is so ugly you have to put a steak on her neck just so your brats can talk to her!” Vegeta laughed but immediately regretted it because Goku came and kicked his ass. Vegeta powered up to SSJ 2 but Goku outdone him and went SSJ3. He beat up Vegeta and dropped him off at his front doorstep.
“You ever speak about my wife like that again and I’ll rip your throat out and make you eat it!” Goku spat out. “See ya tomorrow Vegeta!” he added cheerfully. Vegeta was in a daze.
“Whassa matter you? HEY! You gotta no respect! HEY! Whassa matter you? HEY! Shuddupa ya face!” Vegeta sang and then fell unconcious.
THE END!!
