DBZ Combination
This is a mixture of all of the humor from the previous fics
THINGS THE DBZ CHARACTERS WON’T SAY
Goku: Chi-chi I decided I want to help the world out by doing the fourty hour famine.
Chi-Chi: Goku you do realise that means not eating for fourty hours.
Goku: Yeah so?
OFFSET
Gohan is standing on set with a squirrell on his shoulder. He looks at Lime and she
looks at the squirrell.
Lime: What is it with those wood creatures on this show?
Gohan: Beats me, but Trunks blasted the last lot.
Lime: I don’t blame him, what if he farts?
Gohan: *blinks* GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!
Little Goten is rolling round on the floor holding his stomach. Gohan looks at his
younger brother and he frowns.
Gohan: *shouts* Mom!!!!!
Chi-chi comes bussling in.
Chi-Chi: What is it Gohan?
Gohan: I think something’s wrong with him.
Chi-chi rushes over and she looks at Goten.
Goten: *in pain* Oooooooooohhhhhh........
Chi-chi: Goten what’s wrong?
Goten: I ate some of Bulma’s food.... you weren’t here and I was hungry.
COMMERCIAL
Goku is training with Gohan.
Goku: Gohan what have I told you don’t go easy on me, I know you have good
potential to be a great fighter.
Gohan: Er.... but dad remember what happened last time.
Goku: Gohan just do it.
Gohan: Okay.... MASENKOOOOO-HAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Goku is blown away and Gohan blinks.
Gohan: heh... whoops... sorry dad.
Voice over: *singing* it’s moments like these you need minties...
(NZder’s will get that ad)
YOU KNOW YOU’VE SEEN TOO MUCH DRAGONBALL WHEN YOU...
1/ hang a sign on the door saying ‘Hyperbolic Time Chamber’ hoping you can have a
year of study to get ready for that test the next day....
2/ start talking to you cat, convinced it is Korin and will give you sensu beans....
3/ sow a capsule Corp label on to you denuim jacket and die your hair LAVAENDER
and start wearing a sword across your back....
4/ try to use Instant Transmission to get out of detention....
5/ collect seven small marbels and paint them orange and paint little stars on them so
you can summon the eternal dragon....
6/ start stalking the boy next boy just cause he has hair like Trunks....
7/ take martial arts classes to help save the world....
8/ try to turn super saiyan so you can beat the school bully, only to get clobbered for
stalling...
9/ convince your mom to build you a time machine....
10/ jump out a window ready to fly away from work in the office, only fall to your
doom instead....
THINGS THE CHARACTERS WON’T SAY OR DO
Goten: I gunna dye my hair blonde... Look watch!! *goes SSJ* See I’m blonde!!!
Trunks: Goten why do you want to be a blonde, they’re nothing but ditz’s?
Marron: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!
Trunks: Ack!! *hides*
OFFSET
Goku is sitting at a table reading a piece of paper with Piccolo standing by him...
Goku: Piccolo I’ve never actually understood this stuff... What does it mean?
Piccolo looks over Goku’s shoulder.
Piccolo: What is this?
Goku: The director’s list of shots for the day...
Piccolo: Goku I think he might need those?
Goku: He will? Say Piccolo what does ‘shot’ mean? Does that mean we actually have
guns?
Piccolo: No it means Camera shot Goku.
Goku: So the camera’s shot?
Piccolo: No! It’s hated by directors...
Goku: Why do they hate it?
Piccolo: Because it tells the director where to point the camera.
Goku: Oh.... So what’s ‘two-shot’?
Piccolo: It’s more hated by the director. Because it tell him he has to point the camera
at two actors and they have to be in the scene.
Goku: Ah I think I get it... so what’s ‘montage’
Piccolo: It establishes a sequence or scenes to be cut together, usually with music
placed over, to establish passage of time, or just used to advertise movies. Directors
love it, cause it gives credit that they actually have some intellgence.
Goku: And this ‘cut to’ thing?
Piccolo: Pointless way to let the director know it’s the end of a scene.
Goku grins and he begins writing on the piece of paper...
Piccolo: Goku what are you doing?
Goku: Annoying the director...
Piccolo smirks and pats him on the shoulder.
Piccolo: Good.
BLOOPERS
Trunks is standing on kami’s look out. Dende, Gohan and Krillin are sitting on the
steps, Piccolo is sitting off to the side.
Trunks: So I just do a bunch of flashy moves?
Director: Yes, think you can handle that?
Trunks: Uh sure...
Director: Good... remember flashy moves... Now PLACES EVERYONE!!!!
The crew get in to their locations.
Director: Sound rolling? Camera rolling? Mark it! ACTION!!!!
Trunks is standing in view of the camera and he powers up to super saiyan and begins
hand flipping across the ground and he leaps up in to the air does a combination of
martial arts moves. Trunks sees something move out of the corner of his eyes.
Trunks: Haaaaa ya!!!!
He fires several ki blast off in tothe distance, the camera remains on him then the
sudden glass breaking sound it heard and the boom operator falls in to shot. Trunks
turns round and looks at him, he’s lying twitching on the ground.
Director: CUT!!!!
The camera pans over to reveal a broken window and it zooms out the window to see
a squirrell blasted against the tree.
Director: Trunks!!! LEAVE THE DAMN SQUIRELL’S ALONE!!!!
Trunks: but it’s that same squirell...
1st AD: MEDIC FOR THE BOOM OPERATOR!!!!
Squirell: what about me...
Trunks: Shutup! *blasts squirell*
Director: TRUNKS CUT THAT OUT!!!
CUT SCENES
(If you’ve seen the Red Dwarf episode Backwards then you’ll reconise this)
Adult Trunks and Goten are in Trunks’ room. Goten is swiveling round in Trunks’s
computer swivel chair.
Goten: Trunks.
Trunks is lying on his bed he looks up.
Trunks: Mmnn?
Goten: You ever seen Buffy the vampire slayer series?
Trunks: Yea sure.
There is long silence before Goten speaks up again.
Goten: Do you think Buffy’s sexy?
Trunks: Buffy?
Goten: Maybe we’ve been doing this Dragonball series too long, but everytime I see
her on the show, that body... damn! It drives me crazy! You think it’s just me?
Trunks: I think.... *pause* Buffy is the most desirable girl who ever lived.
Goten: That’s good. I thought I was going crazy.
Trunks: She’s incredible, and she can kick butt too.
Goten: What do you think of Willow?
Trunks: Willow’s great, she’s smart and she’s pretty... if she wasn’t a lesbian, I’d
definately want her... say would you do her?
Goten: Willow?
Trunks: Yeah.
Goten: Willow? Well, I would -do- Willow... *long pause* But I’d be thinking of
Buffy.
Trunks: This is crazy... Why are we talking about going to bed with Buffy?
Goten: You’re right. We’re crazy. This is an insane conversation.
Another long silence.
Trunks: She’ll never love us like Angel, and we know it.
(note to everyone watch Disney’s Hercules and you’ll understand this)
Trunks hoovering over Goten while crushing him under a weight.
Trunks: Well now your just like everybody else...
Goten looks at Trunks and tries to push the weight of him, but Trunks rams it down
more and harder so Goten can’t move.
Trunks: Isn’t it all just... Peeeeachy?
Goten: Uh Trunks...
Trunks: Yeah?
Goten: this is Dragonball GT not Disney’s Hercules...
Trunks: Hey I like that line...
Goten: Pan’s got you addicted to that movie hasn’t she?
Trunks: Gohan made me watch it while I was watching over her. Okay. But damn that
Megera is one hot chick.
Goten: Okay Buffy and Willow is one thing, they’re at least played by real people but
Meg is a cartoon character.
Trunks: So? We are too.
Goten: Oh yeah... in that case I totally agree with you. But she won’t leave Hercules
and we know this.