The Drama CD
Script key code:
SC = Scene
INT. = Interior
EXT. = Exterior
CENTER NAME IN BOLD = whose speaking
(under name in bold) = action of character
Left hand text aligned = description of scene
Centred text = dialogue
*noises* = sound effects
SC 1. INT. RESTAURANT / INN –EARLY EVENING.
Sanzo Ikkou sitting at a table ready to order a meal or trying to while other booths are occupied by their stalkers.
The Sanzo-ikkou continuing on their journey now find themselves
stalked not only by Ukoku and the Kou-tachi...
They now are joined several others from their past villains
and friends of the past who should by their own right be six
feet under, but by some miraculous unknown plot twist have
been revived as if to torment them all the way west…
(turning the page in the menu)
How the hell did those assholes beat us here?
They have flying dragons, Illustrious cars,
the gay love bus, and teleportation. We have Hakaryuu.
OW!!! DAMNIT MONK! Only in private okay?
Don’t mock the ride or we’ll get stuck here with those assholes over there.
He was teasing Goku… weren’t you Gojyo?
*noises of the stalkers in the restaurant in idle chatter or weird spasm’s*
(spazzing out while stabbing the meat on his plate)
(waving at Sanzo)
Why are these assholes still following us?
I believe it’s more you than us.
*protests from another table*
But I am the almighty Lord Zakuro!!!!!
I’m sorry sir that doesn’t mean anything here,
you still have to pay for your meal.
The door to the restaurant opens and Koumyou enters with Ukoku/Nii.
Golly they sure did arrive late this time,
Evenin’ Koumyou-san, Ukoku-san.
Ukoku sitting down at a table with Hazel and Gato.
(Koumyou runs up to the table)
A waitress approaches the Sanzo-ikkou with a pad and pen ready.
Are you ready to order yet?
Sure are honey can I get the-
I want two servings of everything on the menu!
Oiy monkey no cutting in!
Terribly sorry miss, can you make that three servings just in case,
two handles of your tap beer, one wine and a soda please?
Um… and how will you be paying for this?
Sanzo can you show her the gold card I do believe she thinks we might dine n dash.
I would if I could! Daaaaaad! Leggo please!
(still glomping the life out of him)
What took you so long to get here? Papa was so worried about you!
(running up to the table)
That’s it Koumy! Hold him down while I jab him!
Like hell you’re jabbing me! Keep your drugs away from me, you asshole!
(to the waitress)
Excuse me for a moment.
While you're there, could you take Sanzo’s card please?
Dokugakuji, Yaone and Kougaiji sat in a booth watching the group.
Well, nice to see they’re as active as normal.
At least we caught up to them.
How can we not? They continue to make shit time.
Hakkai is handed the gold card by Koumyou.
Here we go, Hakkai.
SAAAAANZOO DON'T LET THEM DO IIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEN BOTH OF YOU STOP HOLDING ME DOWN!
(takes the card)
And can we book a Karaoke booth as well
(places the card on her tray)
and have the food and drink delivered there?
Sure thing sir… we have a few spare booths you have the choice of 3, 9, 5 or 8?
Well Hakaryuu what booth should we take?
Kyuu Kyuu Kyuuuuuu!
Booth three please.
Houran stepped up next to Dougan.
Master… I couldn’t book the inn that you wanted-
Gun going off inside.
Take that you assholes!
Kouryuu don’t you love pappa anymore?
Shit dad I told you to let go!
Shien teleports in near Dougan.
I do hope they serve good tea here…
My steak! You can’t eat it!
(face slams in to plate on the food)
Zenon teleports in with Homura.
I heard they had DDR here. I’ll catch you guys later…
Meeting up with Gojun he owes me a game and a beer.
Ooooh are they heading in
to the Karoke booth…Konzen….
Following the Sanzo party
Kou why are you hiding?
*Kou sitting up in his seat*
I’m not hiding! Nothing happened!
I’m not sure I want to know…
Look they’re gunna be singing badly…
We might as well join and listen.
Dougan pushes past racing after Sanzo.
Masta Saaaaaaaaaaaanzo! Wait for me
Don’t leave me behind!
(bows at them)
I’m terribly sorry for my master’s behaviour.
Follows Dougan quickly.
SC 2. INT. RESTAURANT / INN. KAROKE BOOTH –EARLY EVENING.
Hakkai patting Hakaryuu.
Okay it’s safe Hakaryuu you can turn in to
your human form now, it’s just us around.
*transforming jingle noise*
Kyuu… that’s much better
For those playing at home Hakaryuu was taught to transform
in to a humanoid form by Dougan previously on their journey
*sounds of karaoke list being looked through*
Youkai butt sex song!
SC 3. INT. RESTAURANT / INN. ARCADE SECTION –EARLY EVENING.
Gojun stood in front of the DDR machine looking at Zenon both of them looking at the machine.
*arcade sounds in the background*
Are you ready Zenon?
*DDR music starts up*
You owe me a beer after this
*playing DDR sounds, jumping around on the machine*
SC 4. INT. RESTAURANT / INN. KAROKE BOOTH –EARLY EVENING.
Gojyo with the microphone in hand.
There once were two youkai. Named Gojyo and Hakkai...
Then they discovered they they could have sex with another guy!
They were having buttsex! Youkai buttsex!
I don’t wanna hear this
Nii/Ukoku pulling out a large syringe
Then let me take the pain away.
Get that the hell away from me!!
Gojyo clears his throat.
I’m singing here!
Ukoku hurry up and stick it in him!
Ukoku jabs Sanzo with the needle.
OW OIY YOU ASSHOLE!
What the hell is in that crap?
You’ll see… it’ll help you relax.
MASTA SANZO!!! NUUUUUU!
This is gunna be goooooood.
That fucking hurt!
Ukoku twiddling fingers in Mr. Burns motion.
How long does it take to work?
SANZO!!! SANZO WHAT DID YOU DO TO SANZO????
Homura walking in to the room.
This is not the Konzen I remember…
Who did this to him…
and how much for those drugs?
(child like cuteness, glomps Goku)
Waaaaai, Goku and I used to sleep together allll the tiiiiiiime!!
(tosses Key to Sanzo)
There. Now, time to unlock Goku
*chewing on key noises*
Oh my… um I don’t think he’s suppose to eat it is he?
(spits out the key)
I want something yummy!
(clings to Goku)
I have cookies!
Do you want to do some karaoke?
(squeezing Goku harder)
COOKIES AND KARAOKE!?!?! WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII
SC 5. INT. RESTAURANT / INN –EARLY EVENING.
Koumyou standing outside the Karaoke booth looking at the little demon children.
Oh are all these children yours?
Meet my youkai orphaned army of chibiness
GO MY MINIONS GO!
(glomped by children)
Oooff surrounded by cuteness!
Um… hey kiddo
Oh aren’t they cute?!
Why is it attached to my leg?
Ummm Koumy… you should come in here and see th-
*children race past*
uh ooops heads up!
GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!
SC 6. INT. RESTAURANT / INN. KAROKE BOOTH –EARLY EVENING.
Ukoku throwing cookies at Sanzo
Cookies and karaoke for all!
Lirin popping up.
You suuure do love Goku, don't 'cha Saaaaaanzo?
Hey there what took you so long?
I’ve been here all along… Watching…
(from outside the door)
LIRIN THERE YOU ARE!!!!
Koumyou walks in children attached to him.
Look at what I found! Aren’t they cute?
This is cuter look at Sanzo and Goku.
What did you say Sanzo??? You love...me?????
Master Sanzo what about meeeeee?!
C’mon Lirin say it with me FRENCH FRENCH FRENCH!
French French French!
NOOO! Where did I go wrong?!
Maybe you should stop spending time with Homura in
the closet maybe she would have been brought up better.
NOTHING HAPPENED I TELL YOU!
What happened now?
Naaaa, French what's that?
I mean, do what I did to you at my birthday party, only with feeling this time. Got it?
Gojyo you did what to Sanzo?
Eh-hehe… Uhhhh…. Nothing…?
Now why don’t I believe you?
Koumyou takes the microphone.
Now now lets just have fun shall we. I’ve got the perfect song!
*music of B-52’s starts playing*
I'll give you fish,
I'll give you candy,
I'll give you everything I have in my hand.
Give me, give back my man.
Give me, give back my man.
SC 7. INT. RESTAURANT / INN –EARLY EVENING.
*sound of sparklers or fireworks*
Whose infernal children are these?!
Get them away from my fireworks this minute!
They’re mine do you have a problem with them?
These are not toys!
*loud arguing children noises*
No need to yell…
Infernal children, interrupting me while I’m drinking my tea.
I know where we’re not wanted c’mon kids…
(extreme gay voice)
Zenon and Gojun walking up to Ensui watching the children run past.
I heard that… GO MY MINI ARMY SMIT THEE!!!!
*children giggles as they glomp on to Ensui*
The place has been hooked up with my latest camera surveillance
I plan to make a good buck off the yaoi fanservice of the Sanzo party.
Ooooh Sanzo X Hazel yes please.
Golly Mr God you approve of Sanzo-han and myself.
(more shuddering noises)
Mental images make it stop!
Oooh Zenon care for some Tea?
Like hell who knows what you laced in it this time.
Now come now… no need to argue, lets join Konzen’s group in the
Karaoke booth… all of us… I’m sure it will put a smile on your faces.
If not it’s worth a good laugh
The effects of the morphine should be kicking in soon.
Just don’t go eating Dougan’s damn chocolate again.
I did no such thing.
Of course not Shien I did not see you on Zenon’s surveillance
flopping round on the ground going “I’m a fish”
It never happened. You can’t prove anything.
(waving a dvd round)
Of course not and this blackmail I won’t have you doing
my laundry for a month if you don’t want it up on Youtube.
Well golly I don’t imagine it’d get any hits because Sanzo-han and myself aren’t in it
SC 8. EXT. RESTAURANT – EARLY EVENING.
The sound of footsteps outside coming up to the restaurant.
So this is where they are… Are you sure?
Do you see any other gay love buses here.
If they’re not here then they were or will be.
So I get paid from your boss lady for this surveillance right?
Yes and all we have to do is compromise Zenon’s security.
So she can watch from the comfort of the castle without leaving,
The ultimate form of laziness if you ask me.
I’d prefer if you didn’t talk about my lady in such a fashion.
Yeah yeah do I get an advance on this?
And risk you running off no, that’s why we brought company.
Just goes to show anyone can be bought these days.
Hey no one’s buy’s Shuei! I just fell asleep and got left behind.
I just want to play with Hakaryuu again!
A female voice clears from behind them.
Hmmm? And who are you?
I’m Kanan I was just wondering if you were some of the Sanzo-ikkou’s stalkers.
Most definitely not! I do not stalk!
That depends on your definition of stalk. I don’t
leer outside your shower if that’s what you mean.
I was just asking me and this young man here, were looking to catch up with them.
I’m Yo Master Sanzo passed through my temple where I was staying a year
ago and I was sent this way on a mission I just thought I’d like to say hello.
We’ll lets go look inside them shall we!
(getting pushed out of the way)
Hey watch it!
SC 9. INT. RESTAURANT / INN. KARAOKE BOOTH –EARLY EVENING.
*cliché Karaoke music playing*
WHOSE ARE THESE INFERNAL CHILDREN
GET THEM OFF MY PERSON THIS MOMENT!!!
You know that makes you sound like a pedo bear
I don’t suppose they gave you the nick name Kinky then?
That is a very Pedo bear comment
I’m not a Pedo bear!
I’m Ginkaku! We’re brothers Mr. Yakamo took us in when we were revived
Ooooooiy… Shhhhh Sanzo’s about to French Goku
I much rather the sixty-nine
Now now Kougaiji… no sharing our closet actions.
What happened now?
Saaaanzooooo… this is embarrassing…
French French French!
NO! NO FRENCHING!
Waaaaai like this?!
*several moments of stunned silence*
Very Good Sanzo
Dou-chan I can’t see!!
For extortion of the yaoi fangurls !!!!
I want a hundred copies!!!
Seriously Kougaiji what are you teaching that child?
That butt sex is good