
A list of things you will never hear while flying on a plane....
1. I've got so much room...
2. These peanuts are so filling...
3. I can hear every word the captain says over the intercomm...
4. no really, I wanted to be woken up to watch Mr Bean...
5. Those last three hours of Mr Bean kept me wide awake...
6. I love the sound of babies crying...
7. Please hit the back of my seat as much as you like.
8. I love airline food, it never tastes artificial...
9. Please, scratch yourself as much as you like...
10. Yes I'll help you as much as I can...
Now some things you never want to hear while on a plane...
1. Where is that landing strip...
2. The captain is dead, can anyone fly this plane...
3. Unfortunately the engine has caught fire...
4. please, don't panic but...
5. Captain, enemy fighters at three o'clock...
6. The bad news is we haven't got any life jackets or oxygen masks...
7. I wonder what this big red button does labelled do not push...
8. Oops.....
9. Where's the sky gone....
10. zzzz zzzz zzzz zzzz...
request landing clearance now