HOMAGE TO TOMATO SAUCE
this fast paced and heady world, there are few things we can rely on
to be there for us when we are down or when we are hungry.
for instance has let us down repeatedly since being taken over by Americans,
it is no longer unusual to find burnt and broken biscuits in a pack
of Scotch Fingers or Butternut Cookies, The Gingernuts have become timid
and brittle shadows of their former tooth breaking glory, and in a pathetic
gesture of political correctness gone way too far, the Golliwogs one
fateful day became "Scalliwags".
that's only the beginning! I remember the days when self saucing puddings
and cakes actually had flavour, then White Wings changed the recipes
so that they could be cooked more efficiently in a microwave- not a
bad idea in itself but in altering the recipe they also for some reason
removed all the flavour!
it is now that I have decided to give Tomato Sauce a grand "Bravo!"
for always staying true to form, no matter who is making it!
are many subtleties that give a Tomato Sauce its own distinctiveness,
and from brand to brand the discerning Sauce connoisseur can readily
pick out a favourite- be it Fountain's slightly more vinegary flavour,
The more subtly sweet Rosella variety, or the spicy full fruited taste
sensation that epitomises Heinz's take on this classic staple of the
pie or sausage roll would be complete without the spicy "...dol-lops
of Flava on top", and why does the sauce that comes out of those
little 20cent sachets taste so much better than the same stuff that
comes out of the bigger bottles? I guess we will never know.
years Tomato Sauce has managed to weather an onslaught of competing
sauce varieties attempting to usurp its crown as "King of Sauces".
Those that have come closest include Sweet Chili Sauce, or the Mexican
variant- Tomato Salsa. None have managed to take the mantle except that
is, for the perennial also-ran- Barbeque Sauce. Having lived for many
years in the shadow of Tomato Sauce, the growing acceptance of Barbeque
Sauce has now seen it step into its own to become the default sauce
in many Canteens, and Fish and Chip shops across the country.
may be preferable to Tomato Sauce on a Chicken Kebab, but in my overly
opinionated opinion, it just doesn't have the same heartiness on a hamburger,
or the same lip smackingness on hot chips as a splash of the "Big
If it is
your pleasure, you may determine me to be a yob, bogan, or redneck for
holding Tomato Sauce in such high regard. And you may be right- at one
stage early in High School I did indeed grow a mullett. But let me assure
you, my blood flows red as the Sauce of my dreams- TOMATO! To those
who prefer the dark seduction of Barbeque Sauce I ask you this- Does
your blood flow Black???
the last time you heard on the news about a bottle of Barbeque Sauce
saving a child from a vicious dog attack? Never I'll bet... But in a
recent breakthrough scientists have discovered certain properties in
tomatoes that can help to fight cancer, and yes, they are still present
in processed tomato products- especially Tomato Sauce!!!!
So be it
on your kitchen table, on a pie, or in your next hamburger, I urge you
the very next time you partake of the goodly sweetness that is Tomato
Sauce to pause for a moment and reflect- on a humble condiment that
gives it's services to our tastebuds so freely, and asks for so little
Sauce! If Saddam had thee, he would never want for weapons of mass destruction!