AN HOMAGE TO TOMATO SAUCE

In this fast paced and heady world, there are few things we can rely on to be there for us when we are down or when we are hungry.

Arnotts for instance has let us down repeatedly since being taken over by Americans, it is no longer unusual to find burnt and broken biscuits in a pack of Scotch Fingers or Butternut Cookies, The Gingernuts have become timid and brittle shadows of their former tooth breaking glory, and in a pathetic gesture of political correctness gone way too far, the Golliwogs one fateful day became "Scalliwags".

And that's only the beginning! I remember the days when self saucing puddings and cakes actually had flavour, then White Wings changed the recipes so that they could be cooked more efficiently in a microwave- not a bad idea in itself but in altering the recipe they also for some reason removed all the flavour!

Hence it is now that I have decided to give Tomato Sauce a grand "Bravo!" for always staying true to form, no matter who is making it!

There are many subtleties that give a Tomato Sauce its own distinctiveness, and from brand to brand the discerning Sauce connoisseur can readily pick out a favourite- be it Fountain's slightly more vinegary flavour, The more subtly sweet Rosella variety, or the spicy full fruited taste sensation that epitomises Heinz's take on this classic staple of the Australian diet.

What pie or sausage roll would be complete without the spicy "...dol-lops of Flava on top", and why does the sauce that comes out of those little 20cent sachets taste so much better than the same stuff that comes out of the bigger bottles? I guess we will never know.

In recent years Tomato Sauce has managed to weather an onslaught of competing sauce varieties attempting to usurp its crown as "King of Sauces". Those that have come closest include Sweet Chili Sauce, or the Mexican variant- Tomato Salsa. None have managed to take the mantle except that is, for the perennial also-ran- Barbeque Sauce. Having lived for many years in the shadow of Tomato Sauce, the growing acceptance of Barbeque Sauce has now seen it step into its own to become the default sauce in many Canteens, and Fish and Chip shops across the country.

Sure it may be preferable to Tomato Sauce on a Chicken Kebab, but in my overly opinionated opinion, it just doesn't have the same heartiness on a hamburger, or the same lip smackingness on hot chips as a splash of the "Big Red".

If it is your pleasure, you may determine me to be a yob, bogan, or redneck for holding Tomato Sauce in such high regard. And you may be right- at one stage early in High School I did indeed grow a mullett. But let me assure you, my blood flows red as the Sauce of my dreams- TOMATO! To those who prefer the dark seduction of Barbeque Sauce I ask you this- Does your blood flow Black???

When was the last time you heard on the news about a bottle of Barbeque Sauce saving a child from a vicious dog attack? Never I'll bet... But in a recent breakthrough scientists have discovered certain properties in tomatoes that can help to fight cancer, and yes, they are still present in processed tomato products- especially Tomato Sauce!!!!

So be it on your kitchen table, on a pie, or in your next hamburger, I urge you the very next time you partake of the goodly sweetness that is Tomato Sauce to pause for a moment and reflect- on a humble condiment that gives it's services to our tastebuds so freely, and asks for so little in return.

Hail Tomato Sauce! If Saddam had thee, he would never want for weapons of mass destruction!