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Assumed Name: Douglas Skullburger.

Sex: Male.

Height: 179cm.

Zodiac Sign: Libra.

Eye colour: Blue.

Best Spews: Sculling a schooner of New at a pub in Newcastle and then spewing it straight back up all over the floor. Just managed to get to the loo before the next lot came up and projectile vomited it a meter from the doorway into the trough. That was a remarkable shot I thought.

What do you think of Ouija boards?: Spooky.

Guys, with or without hats?: Hats rule! The Fifties style ones- caps make you look like Fred Durst.

Girls, with or without nail polish?: With.

When you first meet a person of the opposite sex, you first notice...: Hair, face, legs.

Describe your perfect woman: Long dark hair, nice shapely legs. Dark, seductive, passionate personality.

Turn-offs: Girls with really bubbly, frothy personalities- (irritating). Girls with nothing to say- (what's the point?) Smokers- (taste bad).

Favourite TV shows: Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Freaks and Geeks, Hi-5.

What's on your mousepad? Blue- a factory standard mousepad.

Favourite concert you've been too: Nine Inch Nails at Alternative Nation (1995). I've never seen anything that came close to being that good since then.

In the car, AC or open windows: Windows down. AC has a stale sickliness to it.

Do you believe in yourself?: Implicitly.

Favourite board game: Chess, you can't beat the classics.

Favourite magazines: FHM, Rolling Stone.

Favourite drink: Toohey's Pils, VB on tap, Melbourne Bitter, or a bourbon and Coke.

Favourite cigarettes: Don't smoke.

Favourite sound: A whipbird call. So very foresty.

Favourite smell: Rain on hot concrete.

Drinks, with or without ice cubes?: With, for the clinky sound.

Best feeling in the world: Anticipation.

Worst feeling in the world: The way you feel when a girl you are emphatuated with tells you "I like you as a friend".

Favourite thing to do on the weekend: Go out with friends and get drunk, sleep in- then get up and veg out with movies.

One thing that you always wanted: A fez.

Favourite soundtrack: Lost Highway.

What is your favourite sport to watch?: Tennis.

What is under your bed?: Boxes of old music magazines, my old art portfolio, lots of porn.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?: Happy.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?: How much longer can I sleep in?

Do you get motion sickness?: Only if I read.

Rollercoasters, deadly or exciting?: Exciting- the bigger and scarier the better.

Pen or pencil?: Pen.

Is the glass half empty or half full?: Half full.

Future sons names: Doug, or Douggie.

Future daughters names: Lillica, Bianca.

Are you a good friend?: Usually.

Chocolate or vanilla?: Dark chocolate.

Do you like to drive?: I love it.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: No.

Thunderstorms, cool or scary?: Cool, especially if they cause blackouts.

Any five people for a dinner party?:

Les Claypool- Master Bass God and all round goon.
Glen Robins- For light comic releif.
George W Bush- So I can throw food at him.
Britney Spears and Ella Hooper- Poptarts for desert.

What do you wear to bed?: Boxers + T-shirt.

Boxers or briefs?: Boxers made of light stretchy cotton. My boys need room to hang free.

Do you eat stems of broccoli?: No.

If you could streak in front of one persons house, who would it be?: The Queen.

If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be?: Doomsday cult leader.

If you got a tattoo, what & where would it be?: Two chinese dragons chasing each others tails around my belly button.

What is your favourite brand of gum?: Wriggley's spearmint. I don't think you can get it anymore.

What are your favourite quotes?:

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"- Kramer on Seinfeld.
"Get your stinking paws off me you damned dirty ape!"- Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes.
"These jaguars can be pretty mean by crikey, I might have to smack 'im in the face."- Cartman on South Park.
"Ooooh, Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!"- The leader of the aliens in Peter Jackson's classic Bad Taste during the ceremonial vomit eating scene.

Have you ever been in love?: No.

What's on your walls in your room?: Lots of posters- Neon genesis Evangelion, a couple of wicked H.R. Geiger prints, some bands like Korn and Nine Inch Nails, and a whole bunch of sweet brunettes.

Pick a song that best describes you or that you can relate to?: The Smashing Pumpkins- "Crestfallen" and Korn- "Trash".

Favourite movies: Fight Club, Planet of the Apes, Lost Highway, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Friday, American Beauty, Twelve Monkeys.

Favourite Foods: Thai, pasta.

Favourite Ice cream: Anything with chunky bits.

Coke or Pepsi?: Coke.

You find a genie in a bottle. What are your 3 wishes?:

Meet the girl who was made for me.
Everlasting good health.
To be able to fly like Superman.

Which kind of milk is your favourite milk?: Full cream, full fat, full flavour.

If you were to kill someone which method would you use?: I'd snap their neck like in an action adventure movie.

Are you a righty, lefty or ambidextrous?: Right.

Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: No.

Have you ever been attacked by a big dog?: Yes, there were three big rotweilers. They circled around with the barking and the gnashing of the teeth. They looked pretty mean by crikey, and then something else attracted their attention and they ran off. Also when I lived in Toormina, the dog across the road really hated me and one day it got hold of my ankle. But the only thing that made it big was that it was almost too fat to walk.

If you could be one gardening tool, which one would you be?: An axe because people are always polite to someone holding an axe.

What kind of shoe would you be if you had the option to be a shoe?: A face smasher- a big black boot with heavy soles, steel caps and lots of cool looking buckles and straps.

If you could do anything to the person you hated most, what would you do?: I'd seduce his wife and then email pictures of the escapade to all his buddies... then we'd reveal it to him on Springer.