Chi no Ryuu

        Once again depression washes over me like a gigantic tsunami; darkness embraces my heart like huge raven wings. I am lost in the swirling maelstrom of my black heart.
       Who am I? What am I? What am I supposed to do? What is my Destiny?
       Am I a creature of darkness, one of those destined to bring this God-forsaken planet to its knees? Am I the destroyer of man or of humanity itself?
       Am I really evil?
       What is good and what is evil? Who is good and who is evil?
       Who am I? What am I? What am I supposed to do? What is my Fate?
       Questions and more questions; questions leading away from a question, quetions that returns one to the first question. An endless circle of unanswered questions.
       I know not the answers to these questions; I never knew the answers and probably would never know them.
       Never-ending chaos, that has become my world. Confused thoughts and mixed emotions are all that I know. Nothing and no one is what they really are; everything is false and everyone wears a mask. Truth has long been erased from the memories of all; even history has become the written lies of man.
       There is no more hope in this world. Man should not exist anymore. Darkness should take over this forbidding planet of self-destruction.
       Salvation denied. That is what we deserve. We are unworthy to be saved.
       What is my worth? What is my purpose in this life? What is my reason for living?
       Sitting alone once again among the shadows, my dark persona shows-my true self. My senses are overwhelmed by sensations only few can sense.
       My hearing is filled with the cries of pain and suffering both of the innocents and the guilty, the horrendous howling and deafening voices of millions of souls becoming one terrifying sound.
       I am blinded by the blood of the saints and demons, falling down from the dreary heavens in torrents, the thirsty earth drinking up the coppery fluid until it could drink no more, flooding the world and washing away bloated and decaying bodies of what once were humans.
       I breathe in and almost suffocate at the reek of decay and death, gagging at the formidable stench; air so thick with death and darkness that it almost seems like a cold blanket beckoning the weak and tired to lay in eternal slumber.
       On my skin, I feel the pouring of the bloody rain-both icy hot and scorchingly cold. I feel the creeping of so many tiny things on my skin-creeping and crawling all over myself. I shudder. Half-decayed and skeletal arms and limbs reach out and touch me, grab me, from their shallow graves; seeking me, imploring me, forcing me to help them, to join them in their death.
       I open my mouth to scream, but no sound leaves me-my own voice frightened to leave the comfort of my body. Instead I taste the death, the darkness, the evil, the corruption, the hopelessness, that surrounds me. Everything that has tainted everything comes pouring in my open mouth.
       I choke. I gag.
       But it is finally in me and it won't come out. I cannot escape it anymore.
       That dark face hidden in the shadows throws back its head and laughs out loud. Yes, it says. You are finally mine, within and without. You can never escape me; you never have and you never will. You can never escape what is meant for you.
       Dark shadows, dark limbs, reach out from the black hole, taking me in their grasp, wrapping around me like a cocoon of destruction. When I emerge I unfold my black wings and open my dead eyes, take out my frozen heart and crush it. There is no more turning back for me...there never was.
       Now I am Death.