This is a few things out of my journal. I don't say they're any good, it's just the way I was feeling. They're mostly depressing, cause that's when I need to write stuff down and get it out.
Cry Without Tears
I stand and look around
Where are you?
Where am I?
Alone
In the depths of my soul
I feel so empty
Aching, longing, for someone
To stand with me.
Cry without tears
Scream without sound
Yearning unheard
Cry
Lonliness wells into my eyes
But my insides are all dry
What do I seek
What can ever meet
This lonely emptiness.
Tears don't come
No tears to cry
Blood
watching in mute curiosity as the blood runs down the arm
so warm, so strong, so red
who would have though life so physicaly could run away
see it flow and pool and drip
life's force, so strong, so weak
it slips away, its heat drains into the air
becoming cold like the body whose heat it carried
too late, the pain breaks through
the knowedge of death, of it all slipping away
for a while, forgotten as oblivion comes
but something still refuses to die
body holds onto the fire
but the fire is disolving
into the consuming atmosphere
it's gone
untitled
people- the things they do
all the crap they put you through
i tried and tried to stand alone
but i can't make it on my own
don't need to know that i messed up
just need you to understand
that i know that i can't make it
that i know that i fall
i'm broken
i'm lost
i'm hopeless
if i had the strength i'd stand
if i could see the way i'd go
if i knew how i would
don't tell me what i've done wrong
i know
don't tell me how to fix it
i need to on my own
don't try to live my life
just give me life to live myself
don't fix my mistakes
fix me
don't try to salvage what can't be fixed
throw it all away and start again
don't fix this life-
give me a new one
don't hold it all together
let it fall apart
stand aside and watch as i fall
unless you can give me wings
don't stop my flight
if you can't give me what i need
don't offer less
because i will try to hold on
i don't want to blame you when i fall
grasping at all the straws
what is it that i want from you?
if you have to ask you probably can't give it
just look
at me
see what is really there
see me as a human life
you will never understand
you will never be able to make it all right
it's too much for you or for anyone
but if you can see me i know i am real
if you can stand there i know where i am
if you offer your hand i can take it
in the end it all comes back to you
emptiness inside me around me consumes me
no more
you've never tried to fix the symtoms
and so you've found the cure
Apathy
Half dead, a waking dream
Is life worth anything?
No meaning in action,
No purpose to die
Apathetic here I lie.
Give me meaning
Give me hope
In a dreamless state I float
Nothing here, and nothing there;
Emptiness lies everywhere.
I quit searching
I can't find
Quit even looking
For peace of mind.
Emotion, intellect, and will
Exhausted now,
I am so frail.
Metamorphosis
Cats with wings
Morph into rats
With tails that swish
And claws that gash
Untitled
Darkest night of endless days
Scattered drops of broken hopes
On all sides are shades of gray
Living in a world that broke.
Breathing suffocating haze
Don't know how these people cope
Searching for the thinnest rays
That offer me a chance of hope.
You
Darkness and despair
Meaningless confusion
I reach for anything to hold
To grasp in this void
To fill the hole
Any reason for hope.
Falling, falling
Going nowhere
Then I find you.
In your love is peace
In your arms is safety
In your eyes I see
I am alone no longer.
Fear
The smile wears thin
As fear sinks in
Something's wrong
It's inside, screaming
Encroaching darkness
Tearing at me
Unspsken terrors
And unshed tears
Where have you gone?
What's going on?
I'm frightened
