Welcome back fellow freaks and geeks. The master of all horrors and things that go bump in the night is here once again to shred some light into your otherwise boring and grey little lives. Yes, thats right the one, the only, SiC JeRk is on the prowl.
I was at the local GO station this past weekend. Friday being New years Eve and all I expected very little to be happening. You know maybe see a couple people worth writing about. See my main hobby is people watching. Yes, thats right. People watching. You'd be amazed at how stupid people are and then try to cover it up. Its great fun, I recommend everyone to try it. Lets just not all do it at once alright, otherwise, we'd all just be watchers watching watchers watch!
So anyway back on topic. I'm sitting in my fav' spot. Almost dead center in the middle of the terminal, I can see people coming people going. Everyone is in a rush for the 9 o'clock bus to Toronto. Last bus out there on this night. I'm watching, making little notes in my notebook. Nobody really exciting, or at least not to me. So I figure, gotta make this place more lively! I reach down into my bag, black of course and get my two fav things in the world. My "puke" in a bottle, which is really just a can of stew. Mmmm campbells Chunky Soup, Beef and rice. And of course the greatest invention ever known to man, sarian wrap. I go into the washroom, surprisingly clean for a bus terminal and prepare my little ploy.
I tear out a long peice of sarian wrap and cover up the sink. I now have a pretty decent size pocket for my "puke". I screw off the lid of the bottle and dump the contents onto/into the pocket of sarian wrap, then pulling the two sides together I make a sort of ballon with it. You all know whats coming next right?
I walk out of the washroom and look for my mark. Perfect, I see this really preppy looking bitch. I mean, staight out BITCH. She just has that look. She's standing in line for the bus. She looks really pissed off already, having to wait so long and all! I walk up behind her and pretend like I am also waiting to get on the bus. It takes her a few seconds to relize I'm there. Of course, many of you have seen me know that once you see me, its kind of hard not to keep looking. So i'm standing there in all my black trench coat and purple hair glory and she is obviously getting alittle paranoid. Keeps moving her purse to her front and keeping a side glance look on me, all the time trying to move away. I keep moving up slightly, I can really see her getting freaked. Then the time comes, just as the bus rolls into the station, she looks staight at me. The moment has come.
BAM! I throw the puke bag down just at her feet, the stuff spews out and splashes all over her legs and baby blue hip huggers. She's screaming and people are staring at her. I already know this drill, I simply back up out the doors. I can see security running down the hall. Little faster this time then usual. I pass by them as they go running into the main terminal, not once even giving me a second look. The womens in hystericals, screaming about some freak just threw puke all over her new pants. I can hear her crying about her pants, about how much its gonna cost to get them clean. I just give my little laugh and continue walking out the door. No fuss over me, just the screaming women with the puke on her pants.
Moral of this story - I always keep the women screaming.