Atheist Signature Files!

For email, message boards, usenet......whatever you like really! Handy little quotes of an atheist/non-religious persuasion.

These are gathered from around the net - if you spot something you came up with and its not cited, tell me and I'll credit you!

Note: I take no responsibility for what comes up in this little "Sig of the Moment" box --- I just asked them to provide "religious bits" signatures, so there may be some theistic ones in there!

• Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.


• Give me some of that old-time Religion...HAIL ZEUS!


• Jesus Saves... Passes to Moses. Shoots... He SCORES!


• Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.


• I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.


• In the name of the Old Man, The Kid, and the Spook, Amen.


• There once was a time when everyone feared God and the Church reigned supreme... it was called the Dark Ages.


• Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?


• To YOU I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. --- [Ok, so I know this one is a bit on the edge....but I liked it]


• They think, therefore I am. - God


• In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at themselves and said: We good. And God saw it was too late.


• Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.


• Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra


• I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.


• When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly realized that I was talking to myself.


• When we talk to God it's called prayer. When God talks back it's called schizophrenia.


• Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich. Why settle for the lesser evil?


• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.


• Freedom OF religion includes freedom FROM religion.


• ERROR 666: Armageddon detected. Please restart universe and try again.


• Blessed are the Fundamentalists, for they shall inhibit the earth.


• If atheism is a religion, then "bald" is a hair color.


• "Man is certainly stark mad: He cannot make a flea, yet he makes gods by the dozens." - Montaigne


• A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.
• No amount of belief makes something a fact.


• If triangles had a God, he'd have 3 sides. --Yiddish Proverb


• Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.