Note: I forgot some of the things that happen, so this transcript is not 100% accurate, but is around 98% accurate.

OPERATION: VALENTINE
The Wild Thornberrys Valentine's Special
TRANSCRIPTION

Transcribed by Kacie 1113

[The basic intro comes in, and the location is April Springs. Marianne and Nigel are sitting at the outside table, across from each other.]
Nigel: I say Marianne, this has got to be one of the most scenic breakdowns we've ever experienced.
Marianne: Oh, I can't argue with that. What time is the mechanic due here tomorrow?
Nigel: Well, he promised to do his best to get here when he feels like it.

[Eliza and Darwin are positioned by the Commvee. Eliza holds out a map, and points at it.]
Eliza: See? We can climb up there and look at The Great Dingo Fence. It seperates the dingoes from defenseless animals. Won't that be fun?
Darwin: Possibly, depending on which side of the fence we're on.

[Nigel sees smoke coming out of the Commvee door.]
Nigel: Marianne, don't panic, but the Commvee's on fire!
Marianne: But Debbie's inside! [They rush through the door, and smoke is everywhere.] Debbie, are you all right?
[Debbie walks over like nothing's wrong.]
Debbie: What? Is something wrong?
[Donnie grabs the fire extinguisher.]
Nigel: Donnie, no!
[Donnie sprays everything in sight, and Debbie is soaked with the foam. She is not exactly happy about it, either.]
Debbie: Oh! Jungle boy got gunk all over my favorite jeans!
[Nigel picks up Donnie.]
Nigel: Everybody, outside.
[Nigel, Marianne, Debbie, and Donnie leave the Commvee.]
Debbie: Okay, you little freak, what's up with squirting us with that thing?
Marianne: Now, Debbie, he was trying to help. Our fire drills must've made an impression.
Debbie: Excuse me, there was no fire! I just slightly overcooked these cookies.
[Debbie reveals her pan that was in the oven. The cookies look a little over done, and are in the slight shape of upside-down hearts.]
Eliza: I'll say. What are these anyhow? Cows?
Nigel: Eliza, be nice. They're obviously wombats. Aren't they, Deborah?
Debbie: Are you guys blind? I'll show you.
[Debbie flips the pan around to reveal the cookies from a different angle. Eliza once again makes a wrong assumption.]
Eliza: Perfect! Cookies in the shape of Australia.
Debbie: They're hearts, you geography dweeb. I made them for Sven for Valentine's Day.
[Marianne seems to think of the real reason Debbie made the cookies.]
Marianne: Oh, Debbie, is this long distance relationship possibly in bloom?
Debbie: Mom, he's just my e-mail pal whom I'm finally gonna meet tonight!
Eliza: And this is how you're going to impress him?
Marianne: Now, Eliza, that's not very supportive of your sister's efforts.
Debbie: Yeah, you haven't even tried one!
[Debbie hands Eliza a cookie. She tries to bite into it a couple times, but the cookie is very hard. When she finally does get a piece, she makes a disgusted face. Her parents look at her sympathetically. Then an airplane flies by and drops off some mail towards them. Marianne rushes over to one of the packages.]
Marianne: Oh, it's here! This just made my day!
Nigel: Eliza, Debbie, mail!
[Eliza sits down on the table while Debbie holds up her card, and starts reading it out loud.]
Debbie: Oh, a Valentine from Sven! Listen to this. He can't wait to see me later. And he made a special gift for me. I better cook another batch.
Eliza: Yeah, it's too late to take up knitting.
Debbie: Hey, I don't need your snide little remarks.
Eliza: Sorry. I just thought you wanted to make a good impression.
Debbie: What would you know about impressing a guy?
[Eliza holds up a card.]
Eliza: I got a Valentine, too, you know. And it's from a secret admirer.
Debbie: Gee, and I never knew buffalo could write.
Eliza: Very funny! There's lots of guys who could've sent this, like Ben or Miguel or Dieter.
[Debbie laughs.]
Debbie: It's probably from Grandma Sophie!
Eliza: It is not!
Debbie: How much you wanna bet?
[Debbie walks into the Commvee. Eliza turns to her dad.]
Eliza: Darwin and I are going rock climbing.
Nigel: Excellent idea, just be sure to take your water and provisions.
[Eliza turns to leave, but stops in her tracks and clutches her right side.]
Eliza: Ow!
[Nigel notices his daughter's pain.]
Nigel: Oh, what is it, poppit?
Eliza: I'm okay, dad. Probably something I ate.
[Debbie appears at the door.]
Debbie: I heard that! Why don't you go climb on a rock and stay there?
[Debbie walks back up into the Commvee.]
Eliza: Too bad your cooking's not as good as your hearing! See ya, dad.
[Darwin and Eliza walk off. Nigel watches them as they leave. He looks away.]
Nigel: Sometimes I think it would be far easier to raise crocodiles.

[Eliza and Darwin continue walking. Eliza feels pain again, and stops.]
Eliza: Ow.
[Darwin knows something is wrong.]
Darwin: That's the fifth time you've made that face. Are you okay?
[Eliza looks at him.]
Eliza: Fine. It's just a stomach ache.
Darwin: Is this because you ate one of your sister's cookies?
Eliza: I don't know. How do you feel?
[Darwin smiles.]
Darwin: Fine, but I didn't eat any.
Eliza: I've never seen you turn down food.
Darwin: I do never will. I simply store it in my emergency famine kit. [Darwin reveals his bag that's secured around his waist.] See? It's here along with the waffle I snuck off Debbie's plate, and a lovely corndog. [He reveals the waffle, and puts it back. When he reveals the corndog, he eats it.] Well, along with the waffle, anyway. [He zips up the bag. Eliza seems to have some difficulty walking. Darwin picks up a long hard stick, and tries to give it to Eliza.] Here, this will hold you up. It's nice and hard, like your sister's cookies.

[Debbie is in the Commvee kitchen making another batch of cookies. Marianne walks over.]
Marianne: Honey, I'm working on a surprise for your father. Can you help me out back in a couple of minutes?
Debbie: Okay.
[Debbie tries to mix the ingredients, but they end up all over her and her mother. She turns off the mixer.]
Marianne: Maybe you can make Sven a nice card.
Debbie: I guess. For some reason, I'm really nervous about meeting him.
[Marianne seems to understand of what's going on.]
Marianne: I see, so maybe someone is falling for someone?
Debbie: Maybe.
[Marianne was right.]
Marianne: Oh, this is so exciting! I remember my first serious boyfriend. I was about your age.
[Nigel is looking out of the window.]
Nigel: Oh, look! There's a glowworm-filled tunnel in the distant horizon.
[Debbie walks over, smiling.]
Debbie: Hey, dad, how old were you when you first fell in love?
[Nigel is taken aback.]
Nigel: Funny you should ask, Deborah. I was just on my way out to love the rock-footed yellow wallaby. I mean, track the yellow rock-footed wallaby. I mean, I'm tracking wallabies. I'll see you both later.
[Nigel turns to leave, and Debbie is a bit confused.]
Debbie: Dad, you didn't exactly answer my question.
Nigel: Sorry, poppit, the wallabies await! No time for discussions of love. Ta-da! [He falls down.] Ta-da!
[Debbie looks at Marianne.]
Debbie: What was that about?

[Darwin, Eliza, and now Donnie are walking towards the Dingo Fence. They instead see some emus in a very small lake. They see them approaching, and the emus run off to hide.]
Eliza: Hi, there. We won't hurt you. Please come out.
[One of the emus pokes its head out of the hiding spot.]
Emu: You're not gonna try to make shampoo out of us, are you?
Eliza: What? We would never do something like that, I promise.
[The emus walk out cautiously, and start smelling the new comers.]
Emu: They're okay. Their hair doesn't smell like emu. But they do smell, especially that hairy one.
[Darwin takes that as an offense.]
Darwin: Hey! I'll have you know I'm exceptionally clean.
Emu: Now, now. Let's all go for a swim!
Eliza: You guys go in. My stomach still hurts.
[Eliza waits while the others jump in. It doesn't take long for an eagle to appear. Darwin notices the bird, and panics.]
Darwin: Watch out!
[Eliza rushes over to save Donnie, but almost doubles over in pain.]
Eliza: Ow! Ow.
[Eliza, Darwin, and Donnie get out of the lake and hide behind some rocks. The eagle gives up and flies off. The emus walk over to them.]
Emu: You're lucky he's gone.
Emu: When that eagle's really hungry, he eats wallabies, hares, kangaroos, and emu chicks.
Emu: We're going back. We almost lost our chicks to him once already.
[The emus turn to leave. Eliza tries to stop them.]
Eliza: Wait, can you tell me which way to The Dingo Fence?
[One of the emus points in a direction with its wing.]
Emu: Go that way, behind the rocks. The eagle will have a harder time spotting you. Be careful!
[The group heads off. Darwin is uncertain if they should continue.]
Darwin: Eliza, I think we should head back, you not feeling well and all.
[Eliza smiles, and seems to be in no more pain now.]
Eliza: It's weird, but the pain's gone now.
Darwin: Maybe because now we've got a big, giant eagle to worry about.
Eliza: Really, I feel back to normal. C'mon! Let's go climb up there and take a look. [They begin climbing. Eliza almost immediately slows down, and the other two are getting closer to the top. She hangs on.] Be right there, guys.
[Darwin and Donnie appear on the top. Darwin looks, and sees a fence.]
Darwin: Eliza, I see The Dingo Fence! [He sees a dingo on the opposite that they were on.] And, oh good, we're on the right side of it.
[Suddenly, Eliza screams.]
Eliza: Ow!
[Darwin rushes over to the edge, and to his horror Eliza is loosing her grip.]
Darwin: Eliza!
 

commercial break

[Eliza desperately hangs on.]
Eliza: Darwin, help! I'm falling! Darwin!
[Darwin grabs Eliza.]
Darwin: Eliza! Eliza, I got you. Can you pull yourself up? On there, One, six, three!
[Darwin and Donnie manage to pull Eliza over the edge and onto the ground, and she collapses to the ground. Eliza curls up into a ball.]
Eliza: Dar, something's really wrong with me. My stomach's never hurt this much before.
Darwin: We need to get back to camp.
[Eliza is starting to feel scared.]
Eliza: I can't move. What's wrong with me?
Darwin: I'll carry you.
[Darwin attempts to help Eliza walk. She immediately cries in pain.]
Eliza: Ow! Stop! It hurts!
[She falls back to the ground. Darwin, not certain what to do, pulls out a cookie.]
Darwin: Eliza, would you care for one of these nice cookies Debbie made? [Eliza moans in pain.] You're right. You're not that desperate yet. [Donnie knows something is wrong, and runs off the cliff.] Donnie! Get back here!
Eliza: But the eagle's out there. You have to go get him.
[Darwin refuses.]
Darwin: I don't want to leave you here alone.
Eliza: Darwin, please go.
Darwin: Oh, all right. But then I'm going to camp and getting your parents!
[Darwin reluctantly leaves Eliza behind. She rolls onto her other side weakly, and speaks in a soft weak voice.]
Eliza: Please bring them back fast.

[Debbie and Marianne are just outside the Commvee. Marianne is working on something.]
Debbie: Don't I at least get to know what it is we're assembling?
Marianne: I told you. It's your father's Valentine's Day gift. It'll help him track animals easier. Drill please.
[Debbie hands her a drill.]
Debbie: How long have you been working on this?
Marianne: Seven weeks, four days, and 6 and a half hours, roughly. This arrived in pieces. Well, sometimes I sneak out at night when you're all sleeping and tighten a few bolts, drill a little here and there.
[Debbie looks surprised by this.]
Debbie: Wow, and I thought baking cookies is a big deal.
[Marianne smiles at her oldest daughter.]
Marianne: You'll never know what you'll do for love, Debbie.

[Darwin returns, no Donnie with him.]
Darwin: I couldn't find Donnie! [He walks over to Eliza, still on the ground.] Oh, oh, Eliza, how are you feeling?
[Eliza yelps, and indicates where the pain is.]
Eliza: Ow! It's here on my right.
Darwin: Here, lean on me. We have to get down from here.
[Darwin gently carries Eliza down the cliff.]
Eliza: I hope Donnie's okay.
Darwin: Let's worry about you right now. Donnie can take care of himself. [Darwin smiles slightly.] Why, I bet he's playing with Tasmanian Devils right now.
[Eliza smiles weakly.]
Eliza: Yeah, you're right. He's probably having the time of his life.

[Donnie is running away from the eagle. He barely misses being hit, and continues running. Nigel is watching a wallaby from a safe distance.]
Nigel: My good fortune has me north three meters from the yellow-footed rock wallaby. A moment seldome shared by man, I might add. This cute little micropod is chew-- [Suddenly, Donnie comes running in, and scares off the wallaby. Nigel walks over, a bit angry.] Donnie, that was very intrusive. What did you gain by doing that, may I ask? [Donnie jumps up, and makes some motions.] Now you want to play games? Oh, I do like a bit of the old charades now and again. [Donnie tries holding out his arms.] Wing? Flying? Got it! The mail plane arrived. [Donnie is a bit frustrated.] Oh, my dear boy, this is Nigel Thornberry you're playing with. I dear say, challenge me! [Donnie tires again, but his attempts fail yet again as Nigel misinterprets his motions and attitude.] Angry pilot in mail plane. He failed to deliver something and was forced to return? I'm afraid you'll need a little work with this, mate. Thank haven it's only a game and no one's in danger. [Donnie finally realizes what to do to make Nigel understand, and collapses to his side and fakes some painful sounds. Nigel gets the message.] Oh, heavens! Are you hurt? Is that what you're trying to tell me? [Donnie runs off.] Donnie, come back! Let's have a look! [Nigel runs off after him.]

[Marianne continues working on the machine. Debbie, wearing another outfit, comes over.]
Debbie: Well, mom, what do you think?
Marianne: I think I'll make it by sundown, tops.
Debbie: No, I mean what do you think about what I'm wearing?
[Marianne is surprised.]
Marianne: You're asking me what I think about what you're wearing?
Debbie: I know it might sound stupid, but I've been wating to meet Sven for, like, over a year now, and I really want him to like me.
[Marianne puts her hands on Debbie's shoulders.]
Marianne: Honey, you're a very special girl. Just relax and be yourself. He'll like you.
Debbie: Great advice, mom. Just be myself.
[Marianne steps back.]
Marianne: Oh, and about your outfit. I love it.
Debbie: Thanks for the heads up, mom. I'm gonna go change. [Debbie walks off.]

[Darwin and Eliza are down the cliff. They begin walking slowly, Darwin supporting Eliza as best as he can.]
Eliza: I wish I know what was wrong with me.
[Darwin encourages Eliza to keep going.]
Darwin: Don't you worry. We'll get through this.
Eliza: The pain's getting worse, Darwin. I'm scared. Listen, if anything happens to me, you can have the last bag of Cheese Munchies I hid in the Commvee.
[Darwin is getting upset.]
Darwin: Stop talking like that. Nothing's going to happen to you! [He smiles a bit.] But while we're on the subject, where are those Cheese Munchies?
[Eliza laughs, but then suddenly bolts straight up in pain, and collapses onto her side.]
Eliza: Ow, I want my mom and dad!
[Donnie comes running in gibbering panickingly. Darwin places his hands on Eliza's shoulders. Nigel runs in, and sees Donnie pointing to Eliza. Nigel is more than shocked by what he sees.]
Nigel: Eliza! [His hands are placed on his head.]

[Nigel carries Eliza back to the Commvee. Marianne walks in, and, seeing Eliza, is horror-struck.]
Marianne: Eliza! Nigel, what's happened?
[Nigel  gently places Eliza on the table, but keeps supporting her head with his hand.]
Nigel: I found her out there nearly unconscious. She feels fevered and extremely weak.
[Eliza fights against the pain, and halfway sits up, and gently rubs the area with the pain.]
Eliza: Mom, dad, it hurts...it hurts here.
Marianne: Cool her down with some ice. I'm going to look in the Physician's Manual.
[Marianne hurries into the Commvee.]
Nigel: Right.
[He looks at his daughter, very worried. Debbie walks in, holding some flowers, and sees her sister.]
Debbie: What's going on?
Nigel: Debbie, please get me a large pitcher of water, and some ice.
[Debbie walks into the Commvee just as Marianne comes back, holding the manual.]
Marianne: Nigel, I think it could be appendicitis! We have to get her to a hospital immediately. [Debbie hands Marianne a wet cloth, which she applies to Eliza's head.] Honey, we need to take you to get help in the Mini-Comm.
[Nigel gently picks up Eliza, and carries her over. He places her into the front seat. She begins to look a bit weaker.]
Nigel: There you are, poppit.
[Debbie becomes angry, oblivious to the real danger her sister was in.]
Debbie: But I'm supposed to take the Mini-Comm to meet Sven! I don't believe it. Of all the times for my sister to get the flu, I won't see Sven again for another 17 months!
[Nigel looks at Debbie.]
Nigel: I'm afraid it could be more serious than that. Your sister may need her appendix out.
[Eliza's eyes snap open in shock.]
Eliza: I do?
[Debbie is no less horrified, now realizing the seriousness of the situation.]
Debbie: She does?
Marianne: Stay here with Donnie.
[Donnie jumps in. Darwin swings in.]
Debbie: If they're going, I'm going!
[Debbie hops on as well. The Mini-Comm then starts to move. Not too long, the vehicle hits something, and one of the tires goes out, almost knocking the Mini-Comm to the side. Nigel looks to the side and sees the problem.]
Nigel: A blowout!
Marianne: The spare's in the trunk. Everyone, out!
[They all climb out, but Eliza stays in since she cannot get up. The trunk is open, but they're shocked by what they see...]
Nigel: Blast! It's completely flat!
[Eliza suddenly groans loudly in pain, clutching her side.]
 

commercial break

[The family is standing, looking at the horizon. Eliza is leaning on her dad to support herself.]
Nigel: No operable forms of transportation. Blast that mechanic! If only we could get to town!
[Nigel glances at his daughter worriedly. Marianne then remembers something.]
Marianne: Nigel, you can fly Eliza to town! Everyone follow me.
[They move out towards the Commvee. Nigel picks up Eliza, who then looks at her mother.]
Eliza: Mom, I'm scared.
Marianne: I know, honey. But trust me, your father's going to get you to the hospital, and you don't even need your appendix. Here we are. [She walks over to a large sheet. She pulls it off, revealing an advanced glider with flying capability.] Happy Valentine's Day, honey.
[Nigel blinks in surprise.]
Nigel: Marianne, this has got to be the finest Valentine's gift in history!
[He tests one of the wings. Debbie walks over and places her hand on Eliza's shoulder.]
Marianne: You could fly Eliza to the nearest hospital in this.
[Without warning, Eliza begins to clutch her side again, eyes closed, and screaming in pain.]
Nigel: What are you waiting for? Get me the map for the nearest airport!
[Nigel places his hands on Eliza's face. The next minute, Eliza's strapped in, and Nigel is at the controls. Marianne hands Nigel a piece of rolled up paper.]
Marianne: Directions to the airport. You can do this, Nigel.
[Darwin realizes something is very wrong. He goes over to Eliza.]
Darwin: What's going on? Something's really wrong, isn't it?
[Eliza looks at him.]
Eliza: They think it's my appendix. Mom says you don't even need it.
Darwin: Then why have one at all? [Darwin places his head on Eliza's lap.] Eliza, get out of that thing.
Eliza: I can't, Dar. Don't worry, I'll be back beore you know it. Hey, maybe now will be a good time to eat that emergency waffle.
[Darwin walks off, and Marianne hugs her daughter.]
Marianne: Oh, I'll talk to you soon. I love you very, very much, sweetheart.
Nigel: I'm losing light. Stand back, please! [Nigel starts to take off. The plane almost falls down, and everyone gasps, but the plane flies back up, and soon Eliza and Nigel are high in the sky and out of sight.] All under control, poppity. Just a little bit of turbulance, lovely. Perfectly normal. [The eagle appears again. Nigel notices it.] Why it's the Wedged-tailed Eagle. Magnificent, isn't it? Only drawback of this fine creature is that it enjoys attacking planes and helicopters, not that it ever brought a plane down. [The eagle flies up towards them.] Then again, it's not like we're actually in one. [Eliza looks up and sees the eagle now right above them.] Hang onto your stomach, pumpkin! You're about to witness some fancy work here! [Nigel does a couple of manuevers, including between two tall cliffs. Eventually the eagle loses sight of them, and flies away. The skies are darker now.] See? No worries, lovely. [A storm looks like it's brewing up in their direction.] Can't get a break today, can we?
[Eliza is half-asleep and very disoriented by now. Her condition has taken a turn for the worse again.]
Eliza: Darwin, Darwin, help me off this rock and get mom and dad quick.
[Nigel looks back.]
Nigel: Eliza, what is it? You'll have to speak up. [Eliza speaks again, but in chimp language.] Oh, heavens, she's speaking gibberish! I must get her out of this plane! Where is that airport? [He tries to look at the map, but it is knocked out of his hands and is shredded.] I'm not that keen on maps, anyway. [He looks, and sees an airport through the clouds.] A runway! I would give my accut sense of smell for a radio right now. Here we go! [Despite almost getting knocked around by a real plane, Nigel lands the smaller plane.] C'mon, c'mon lovely.
[Nigel walks over to get his daughter. Eliza once again starts talking subconsiously.]
Eliza: No, Dar, no. East is that way. No, that's northwest...
[Eliza again switches to chimp language. Nigel is horrified.]
Nigel: Oh, no, she's gone mad. [He picks her up. An ambulance comes by. He walks over to them, an unconscious Eliza in his arms. The scene splits to the next day. Eliza slowly wakes up to find herself in a hospital bed. Nigel wakes up from sleeping in a chair.] What?
[Eliza sounds very weak.]
Eliza: Where am I? How did I get here?
[Nigel walks closer.]
Nigel: I flew you here last night.
Eliza: But we don't have a plane.
Nigel: We do. Thanks to your mother. Shush, now. You've had your appendix out.
[Eliza obviously doesn't remember what happened.]
Eliza: Oh, I did? [She turns her head towards the door.] Where's mom?
[Debbie and Marianne walk through the door, Debbie holding flowers.]
Debbie and Marianne: Surprise!
[Marianne looks at Eliza.]
Marianne: Hi, honey. How are you feeling?
Eliza: Sore.
[Debbie hands Eliza the yellow flowers.]
Debbie: Here.
[Eliza takes them, but feels guilty.]
Eliza: Thanks. I'm sorry I wrecked your Valentine's date with Sven. I didn't mean to, honest.
[Debbie looks a bit guilty herself.]
Debbie: I told you it wasn't my cookies. I'm sorry, too, and if I had a choice, I'd pick you over Sven. Well, just this once, but don't try it again!
[Nigel turns to his wife.]
Nigel: Marianne, I love my Valentine's gift. I feel absolutely dreadful I didn't get you one.
Marianne: You got me the best gift in the world. You saved our daughter's life.
Nigel: Oh, really? It was such an uneventful flight. A chimp could've done it.
[Marianne looks suspicious.]
Marianne: Why do I feel that isn't true?
[Nigel gestures towards Debbie, finally answering her question.]
Nigel: Deborah, remember when you asked when was I first struck by Cupid's arrow? Years ago, I was on a broken down bus in El Salvador, and I turned to the woman next to me and, for no reason what so ever, suddenly kissed her, on the cheek mind you. [Debbie's eyes widen.] And that cheek belonged to none other than your mother, my first and only love.
[Nigel turns towards his wife again. Marianne looks love struck all over again.]
Marianne: Oh, Nigel.
[Debbie is a bit grossed out by this.]
Debbie: Gross! Thanks for reminding me I'm the only one around without a Valentine.
Marianne: And you're handling not seeing Sven very well, I might add.
Eliza: What about me? I don't have a Valentine or an appendix.
[Nigel gently holds Eliza's hand.]
Nigel: Maybe you'll let your dear old dad be your Valentine, huh? Just this once?
Marianne: And your mother.
[Debbie gets the idea.]
Debbie: Okay, okay, I get it. Me, too.
[Nigel, Marianne, and Debbie hug Eliza gently.]
Eliza: Thanks, guys. But could you be careful? It still kinda hurts. [Darwin and Donnie come running in. Darwin seems to be trying to get something from Donnie, who's on the bed with Eliza. The ending credits roll by, and the episode ends.]