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The Wonderful Me

I would like to start out by answering some of your questions. One main question people ask me is, "Who the hell are you?" I am Mike Reinhardt, a nobody, just like yourselves. I live in Mount Carroll, Illinois with my family I had 2 sisters, but one passed away on November 4, 1997. So without further ado, here is my tale.

My life began on March 8, 1985 at Hamot Medical Center in Erie, PA. That's where I was born a naturally handsome child. I don't really remember much between the ages of 1 to 3, but I remember that I had put my parents' car into neutral and backed into a trailer. We had moved to Savanna, Illinois where we lived for about 6 months before moving to Washington, Indiana. Thats about it. When I was 4, we moved to Germany where I began my most gruesome years.

I began my school career at Wildflecken, Germany. It was a K-12 school, which had 3 stories and roughly 500 kids. I actually thought it was a nice school. It had a huge playground. We used to throw sand in each others eyes to get a free trip to the nurse's office. One of my favorite things to do there was piss people off. I used to steal other kids' toys and bury them under the sand. It was great. Kindergarten was my favorite class, and not just because of the finger painting, but because of the snacks. Best thing in the world, M&M cookies.

In 1st grade I learned how to paint on paper. It was really hard for quite some time. One thing I remember about 1st grade was the bathrooms. It may sound wierd, but we actually played king of the bathroom. Whomever got the middle toilet, was king. Ever say we used to see something new carved into the door, like "fuck you" or "bitch". Those were considered big words back then. My 1st grade year really did suck.

2nd grade was hell. My teacher was a big, fat meanie. I actually thought she was a he. That's where I began reading the harder Dr. Suess books. Cat in the Hat was stupid. I never really did like it. But anyways, 2nd grade brought me more to grips on reality...Life is really, really hard. My teacher's son came in for a visit one time, ugliest guy you'll ever see. Had more piercings than biker. I must have counted about 20 earrings in an ear. And futher more, I thought he was gay. Still brings chills to my spine.

3rd Grade. 3rd Grade was my last year in Germany. I only went through half a year of 3rd there. My teacher was kinda cool, though. I don't remember her name. We had alot of going away parties because the American Base that our school was on, was closing. It was sad. I don't remember the exact day, but it was my turn to leave. I said by to all my real friends that I ever had. It was time to go back to America, the unearthly hell hole of the world. The flight back sucked, just like most flights where you don't get much to eat or drink because the stewardess is a stupid cunt who can't even talk English or German. When I say chicken, I expect chicken. Not some sloppy green beefy shit. Anyways, when we got to Pittsburgh International Airport, we were picked up by my grandfather and brought back to Erie, PA where we stayed another month before moving to Mount Carroll, Illinois. The biggest dump since the Exxon-Valdez Oil Spill. When I first arrived in Mount Carroll, I could right away tell it would suck, severly. I was enrolled at the Mount Carroll School district about 2 weeks later. We lived at the Carrollton in for a few months before buying a big, yellow-bricked house on Main street.

The rest of my 3rd grade year was pretty smooth. I met alot of intersting people and began seeking friends. One of my first, and best friends was Jason Hughes. He was really small compared to me at the time, but he grew. Another friend I made was John Aude. And of course there was Chris Gable. We all "love" Chris Gable. One thing I remember from 3rd grade at Mount Carroll was when I was dared to write "slut" on the board. Being from Germany, I had no idea what it meant, so I did it. When the teacher asked who did it, I happily raised my hand. I was in deep, deep shit. She made me cry when she told me that I was evil and that I had corrupted the minds of every child in her classroom. I do not claim responsibility, nor do I deny responsibility.

To be continued....Next I'll tell you about my sudden downfall in life and how I never recovered.

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