Disclaimer|Contact Us
  Top Stories
"Lord of the Rings" Sequel To Be Renamed

LOS ANGELES - Hounded by pressure groups wielding Washington clout, New Line Cinemas has decided to rename its blockbuster film on home release.

  Headlines
US Tested Weapons Of Mass Desertion
THE PENTAGON -- Scrambling to save their credibility, the Bush Administration has recently taken the unusual tack of disclosure. One newly declassified report describes testing of a new weapon that eradicates governments but leaves citizens high and dry.

Superman, Batman Call It Quits
METROPOLIS -- After 50 years, the founders of the Superhero community announced today they were going separate ways. But while the seemingly abrupt announcement has caught the public by surprise, insiders say it's been coming for a long time.

Rendell Says Lancaster Sucks

HARRISBURG -- Ed Rendell's rise to governor was fueled by his heroic effort to revive Philadelphia. But in his inaugural address, Rendell admits sometimes the secret to success is knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em.

US, N.Korea No Longer "Buddies"
WASHINGTON -- As tensions escalate between the US andf North Korea, President Bush is hoping to strengthen his position with new diplomatic tactics. But some say his new approach will only worsen the problem by cutting off important lines of communication.
Police Snare Restaurant Dumbass
DELRAY BEACH -- After a month-long manhunt, it was a bit of luck that led police to catch a dumbass in the act.
Satire Workers Threaten Strike
WASHINGTON -- The nation's satire workers are mobilizing to protest what they call a Bush Administration policy of ignoring harsh working conditions and unfair competitive practices.
Looking Back
Will The Real John McCain Please Stand Up?
F-16 Pilots Distracted By Pop-Up Ads
FBI Monitors Terror Porn

At A Glance

Michael Jordan praises son, forgives Jimmy the Greek

Man Who Hates Job Stays Because Money Is OK

White House Doctor Leaks Colonoscopy Report: Bush's Ass Actually President
Woman Gets Makeover, But Is Still Ugly
 News View
 
Satellite photos offer evidence Iraq is testing weapons of Mass Turbation.
Ending years of speculation, Courtney Love demonstrates how ex-boyfriend Kurt Cobain really got his face blown off.
Still searching for a winning contender in 2004, Democrats tap Missourian Mel Carnahan. "It worked against Ashcroft," say strategists.
"Narf! What are we gonna do today, Brain?"
 
  On The Wire
Powered By SatireSearch
 
The Bargepole refuses to make space shuttle jokes. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Copyright 2002 The Bargepole. Offended? Take a nap. Then read our Disclaimer.