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REVIEWS


Here are the films which I have seen and reviewed since the arrival of this site. For other films (and longer, more detailed descriptions) visit EMPIRE.COM.



THE RING

Certificate: 15
Genre: Horror
Best line: But I do and i'm sorry but it wont stop.

As you've probaly heard the ring is based on an older Japanese film about a video tape which will kill you seven days after you watch it. Rachel, a single mother, decides to investigate the sudden and mysterious death of her niece (who guess what, watched the video) Her search leads her to this tape which she proceeds to view before recieving a phone call telling her she has only seven days left to live. With her friend she tries to figure out the secret of the tape to save herself.

This is one shit scary film definetly not for the jumpy, easily freaked or squeamish people. It provides one good twist but if your looking for an explanation at the end forget it. The film leaves you at a very confusing point with very little to wrap it up with. However if you just wanna proove your courage or wanna bit of a fright this is a perfect film.

Overall rating: 8/10



The Hours

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Tragedy
Best line(s): I was thinking of killing my heroine but I've changed my mind. I'll have to kill somebody else instead.
If it's a choice between Richmond and death, then I choose death. (the cheeky Bitch (I live near Richmond))

This is a good film but deffinetly not for easily bored people. It takes the story of Virginia Wolf and the book she was writing, a woman in the 50s, who has a son, reading it, and a woman in 2001 whos life is very similar to that of the book character. She is organising a party for her ex Richard who has aids and has won an a ward for his poetry. There are some VERY touching scenes in this and some rather anoying ones. When you think about there is very little story line, however it's good to watch, but if your not interested in this kind of film don't bother there are better ones out.

Overall rating: 5/10



Gangs of New York

Certificate: 18
Genre: Bloody mass of violant killing!!!
Best lines: At my challenge, by the ancient laws of combat, we are met at this chosen ground, to settle for good and all who holds sway over the five points: us natives, born rightwise to this fine land, or the foreign hordes defiling it!
I don't give a tupenny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack!

I adore most of this film but it realy requires a...erm how to put this...a "cirtain taste." It consits of pretty much none stop massacring. As well as this the end dosnt have much to boast. Leo is about war with Lewis and just as your looking forward to an all out masacre the navy arrive and all is blown to shit by boats out at sea. Despite this and the fact that there is almost no story line it is stunning to watch and there are some amazing scenes. But again realy let down by the end.

Overall rating: 6.5/10



Catch me if you can

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Chase.
Main Characters:
Frank Abagnale Jr.: Leonardo Decaprio
Carl Hanratty: Tom Hanks

Best lines: Carl: You wanna hear me tell a joke?
Earl: Yeah I'd love to hear you tell a joke.
Carl: Knock Knock.
Earl: who's there?
Carl: Go fuck yourself!

Based on the true story of Frank Abagnale Jr., a successful con artist who managed to pass himself off as several identities and the FBI agent hot on his trail.

A very good film. Funny, clever and interesting. Hanks plays the part of Detctive Carl who is chasing Leo, the forgerer. The film is full of great scenes especially one where Leo takes over a French class *wipes a tear from his eye* This is a very good film and I would recomend seeing it. (However the ending does drag on for another half an hour after you think it's finished!)

Overall rating: 7.5/10



Johnny English

Certificate: Pg
Genre: Kids comedy
Main characters:
Johnny English: Rowan Atkinson
Pascal Sauvage: John Malkovich
Loma Cambell: Natalie Imbruglia

Best line: Are you gonna come over here soon sir? (talking to English as he holds hospital ocupiers hostage)

Following the plight of Johnny English, secret agent for MI7, trying to track down the thief responsible for the theft of the crown jewels. Johnney. He seems to suspect frenchman Pascal Sauvage, which soon gets him into a lot of trouble with his superiours. Can he find some kind of strong evidence to proove his case.
This is a very funny comedy for your enjoyment bringing Bean to Bond, but if your looking for a GOOD film with a story line and a twist etc...go somewhere else. This is deffinetly a lil' kidy's film.

Overall rating: 5/10



The Recruit

Certificate: 12A
Genre: CIA thriller
Main characters:
James Clayton: Colin Farrel
Walter Burke: Al Pucino
Layla Moore: Bridget Moynahan

Best line: Psychiatrist #1: Would you consider yourself objectively flexible or subjectively firm?
James Clayton:err Metaphysically wrinkle-free?

James Clayton is recruited by Burke to join the CIA. Taken to "the farm", where he begins his training, he meets Layla and after a rough start they get together until he is pulled out to become the NOC. He is informed that she is a mole in the agency and his job is to proove so.
This is an amazing film simply because "nothing is as it seems." You can never tell what is a lie and what is not right up till the very end. Colin Farrel does an amazing performance and Pucino is as good as ever. A must see film.

Overall rating: 8/10



How to lose a guy in 10 days

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Romantic "comedy"
Main characters:
Andie Anderson:Kate Hudson
Ben Barry:Matthew Macconaghey

Best lines:
Bullshit
That was the worst thing I have ever heard

Yep well those just about sum up the entire film! This was a very moving film. So moving infact that it moved me from my seat across the cinema and out the door. It was crap!?!?!

Overall rating: 0/10



Xmen 2

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Action
Main characters:
Magneto/Eric Lensherr:Sir Ian McKellen
Wolverine/Logan:Hugh Jackman
Professor Charles Xcavia:Patrick Stewart
Storm:Halle Berry
Alan Cummings:Night Crawler/Kurt Wagner
Kelly Hu:Yuriko Oyama
Brian Cox:William Stryker

Best lines:
"You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about in the news -- I'm the worst one"
Professor X: "If you continue to smoke in here, you'll spend the rest of your live believing you are a six year old girl."
Wolverine: "You'd do that?"
Professor X: "I'd have Jean braid your hare."

This however is an incredible film! A stunning cast provide a stunning peformance outdoing it's predecesor.
When a rouge mutant (not actually rouge) to attack the president William Stryker (Brian Cox) is given permission to excecute his plan of attack on mutants all over the world. Using Magnito (Sir Ian McKellen) he gains information about a devise called Cerebro which can locate and destroy all the mutants (or humans) on the planet. Stryker kidnaps Professor Charles Xcavia (Patrick Stewart), he only person who can use the Cerebro, and sets it to destroy all mutants. The good guys must band together with their nemises Magnito and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) To save their race.
As usual Ian McKellen gives an amazing performance as villain Magnito.(much better than Gandalf, Ugh poserrrr!!) The opening scene with Nightcrawler (Alan Cummings) is absolutly fantastic. It is a shame however that he does not keep this attitude and turns out to be a faithful christian (boooooring)

Overall rating: 9/10



The Matrix Reloaded

Certificate: 15
Genre: Action
Main characters:
Neo/Thomas A. Anderson:Keannu Reeves
Morpheus:Laurence Fishburne
Trinity:Carrie Anne Moss
Agent Smith:Hugo Weaving
Merovigian:Lambert Wilson
The key maker:Randal Duk Kim
Twin #1:Adrian Rament Twin #2:neil Rament

Best lines:
[after watching Neo stop thousands of bullets in the air.]
Merovingian: Okay, you have some skill.

[Neo to trinity.]
I'm not gonna let you go. I love you too damn much.

Right gotta step carefully here. Don't wana give anything away...

A year after the original(i think) Neo, Morpheus,Trinity and Link (the Nebukanezzors(sp?) new Operator) have to save the last remaining human city, Zion, from the machines. Teaming up with other captains and ships they need to fight more than just agents With the return of Agent Smith, now able to clone himself and a little group of people i've decided to call the French Connection.

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS FILM!!!

Despite a disapointing beginning. Showing Zion and some REALY pointless love scenes. This film is awesome! Again Keannu performes wondefully and the fight scenes, if a little animated, are more than stunning. Hugo Weaving is fucking fantastic, easily out doing his previous performance. The French Connection are soooooo cool providing humour and more amazing fight scenes with the introduction of the twins. The film may not be as good as was anticipated, with one or two let downs (the architect) but it is still a must see movie.

Overall rating: 9/10



Bruce Almighty

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Comedy
Main characters:
Bruce Nolan:Jim Carrey
Grace Connelly:Jenifer Aniston
God:Morgan Freeman

Best lines:
Bruce: I can do it, Jack! I can be like Evan.
Jack: You don't want to be like Evan. Evan's an asshole.
Bruce Nolan: I can be an asshole.
Jack: No you can't.
[Bruce knocks over Jack's sandwich]

Evan: [insanely] I LIKA DO THE CHACHA...LIKE A SISSY GIRL

Bruce Nolan believes that God has been treating him baddly after various problems occur in his life. This is until Bruce comes face to face with the great creator himself and recieves all of his goddly powers. At first Bruce is delighted with his new life and procceeds to improve it in everyway he can. Soon however he discovers the difficulties of being God and starts to regret having taken on such a responsability.

This is a v funny film, the whole thing is full of good jokes it is however not a must see film and if you can't stand christian beliefs stay well clear of it. On the other hand there isnt much else good on at the moment so if your stuck with nothing to see then see this.

Overall rating: 6/10



Hulk

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Comic book based action
Main characters:
Bruce Banner: Eric Banna
Bettty Ross: Jennifer Connelly
Father: nick Nolte

Best lines: There are none!!! for the first time in film history not a single line has struck me as Particularly good

Bruce banner is a scientist working at uni with his ex Betty. Both of them are experimenting on giving humans regenerative abilities, a subject in which Banner's father was conveniently interested in. All is going well untill a freak accident in the lab unleashes scary powers in Banner who when maddened becomes...THE INCREDIBLE HULK an almost unstoppable mass of green muscle.

"Unfortunately that's where the fairy tale ends" (The haunting) This is one shite film. Out of all the comic book films old and new this is not one of the ones you should see. (this and Batman and Robin) Not only are the CGIs (computer generated images) a complete turn off but the plot line is to say the least pretty poor and even the fight scenes, of which there are a few, are basicly a green computer graphic smashing stuff, which is about as intesting as drying paint! Do yourself a favour see another film!

Overall rating: 2/10



Terminator 3: Rise of the machines

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Action
Main characters:
The T800 (terminator): Arnold Schwarwzenegger
John Conner: Nick Stahl
Kate Brewster: Claire Danes
TX: Kristanna Loken

Best lines:
(Possibly one of the greatest lines in film history:p) John: What is your mission?
T800: To..ensure the safety...of John Conner...and Catherin Brewster.
John: You are about to fail that mission

IT'S BACK!!!!
Once again the Terminator is invading our screens and thanks to a nameless faceless friend of mine I have reviews before it comes out (Aug1) A few years after T2: Judgement day John Conner is now living away from civilisation to avoid Skynet but they manage to track him down and the latest Terminator, the TX, is sent in to destroy mans last hope of survival and his future second in command Catherin Brewster. Once again Arny is sent back to protect him.

Ok as you've already been told this film is not quite as good as it's predecessors but do NOT let this put you off it, this is one awesome film. Once again Arny delivers a stunning performance despite his ageing. Loken is also stunning as Skynet's latest killing machine. What it does lack is the bond between John and the Terminator that Judgement day and their two moving scenes are not quite as staggering as the one at the end of T2 (sob).

Overall rating: 8/10



Lara Crof Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Action/Adventure
Main characters:
Lara Croft: Angelina Jolie
Terry Sherridan: Gerard Butler
Jonathan Reiss: Ciarán Hinds

Best lines:
Nothing sticks in my mind all the lines are typical Croft crap.

Laras back *groans* Once again Lara Croft is saving the world from evil villanous...villains. More kick ass more guns and more motor bikes!
A multi millionair scientist plans to unleash a new kind of plauge on man kind one with out a cure. Pandora's box. Hidden deep inside the cradle of Life. Lara must beat him there with the help of ex-military Scot Terry Sheridan and save the human race from almost certain dooooom.
Well unless you enjoyed the first film *cough* LOSER *cough* stay away stay far far away. Imagine Harrison Ford flinging himslef across the screen, guns, whip and all. Now imagine the same thing but with breasts in tight fitting leather... I can see how some of you may enjoy this but if your not a PScrazed, perverted freak thing don't bother instead see...
Overall rating: 4/10



Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Action/Adventure/comedy
Main characters/Cast worth mentioning:
Captain Jack Sparrow: Johnny Depp
Will Turner: Orlando Bloom
Captain Barbossa: Geoffory Rush
Elizabeth Swann: kiera Knightley
Comadore Norrington: Jack Davenport
Governer Weatherby Swann: Jonathan Pryce
Ragetti: Mackenzie Crook (the guy from the office)

Best lines:
Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jack Sparrow: But why has the rum gone!?!

Pirate Jack Sparrow is captured and is in for a hanging until he is sprung by Blacksmith Will Turner who needs his help to brave the Caribbean Sea and stop a ship of pirates led by Captain Barbossa, who have kidnapped Elizabeth Swann. BR> This is a fantastic film. It's funny adventurous and Johnny Depp is awesome as slightly loopy Captain Jack Sparrow. Orlando Bloom is also very good, (big Orly fans out there DON'T hate mail me for this esecially you Sarah) following in the footsteps of once major heart throb Leo playing the romatic pretty boy Will Turner and if you ask me he will keep following this path and the big fuss will die down and he will become a better actor as did Leo. Jonathan Pryce and the guy from the office are also very good in there slightly smaller parts.
Overall rating: 8/10



THE Man Who Sued God

Certificate: 15
Genre: comedy
Main characters:
Steve Myres:Billy Connelly

Best lines:
Meyers' ex: You're going to sue one of the world's biggest insurance companies?
Steve Meyers: Well, apparently I wouldn't stand a chance-I'm suin' God.

Ex Lawer turned fisherman Steve Myres suffers the loss of his boat during a storm. left with no home and now way to earn a living he seeks money from insurance companies only to find that they won't cough up as a storm comes under "act of God". On a mission to proove that he is being swindled Steve decides to make a point and make it well! He sues God.
This is a great idea and the story is fairly good. I mean just the idea of some one suing God is complelely outragous, but don't worry Christian folk he's only making a point agaisnt insurance companies and it's only a film! Billy is very good as excentric fisherman Steve but the part is practicaly made for him. However the jokes are pretty poor, all shown in the trailer. The ending is kinda corny as you'd expect froma film involving God (Take Bruse allmighty for example) Not a must see unless you find the concept os some one suing God very interesting or you're a big Billy fan.

Overall rating: 5/10



Ned Kelly

Certificate: 15
Genre: Historic action
Main characters:
Ned Kelly: Heath Ledger
Joe Bryrne: Orlando Blom
Francis Hare: Geoffrey Rush
Julia Cook: Naomi Watts
Dan Kelly: Laurence Killan

This film is based on "Our Sunshine" by Robert Drew, a novel based on the life of Australian bushranger and icon, Ned Kelly. It tells of his life as a bushranger in north-west Victoria, where he lived all his life. He, his brother Dan, and two other men, Steve Hart and Joe Byrne, formed a gang. These four robbed a bank and hijacked an entire town for 3 days. They killed three policemen who were hunting them. They then took over a pub in Glenrowan, where they basically held a party, waiting for a train full of police to derail at a part of the track that they tore up. However a school teacher warned the train, so the gang and all the others in the pub ended up in a shootout with scores of policemen.
Can't remember much of this film and as far as I know it stopped showing in the cinema aages ago but what I do remember was very very good. Had many of my friends in tears by the end. And the final scene is deffinetly something to see.

Overall rating: 7/10



Intolerable Cruelty

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Main characters:
Miles Massey: George Cluney
Marylin Rexroth: Catherin Zeta-Jones
Donovon Donalty: Geoffrey Rush
Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy: Jonathon Hadary

Best Line(s):
I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR ASS!!!!

Miles Massey, a prominent Los Angeles divorce attorney has everything--and in some cases, two of everything. Despite his impressive client list, a formidable win record, the respect of his peers and an ironclad contract (the Massey pre-nup) named after him, he's reached a crossroads in his life. Sated on success, boredom has set in and he's looking for new challenges. All that changes when Miles meets his match in the devastating Marylin Rexroth. Marylin is the soon-to-be ex-wife of his client Rex Rexroth, a wealthy real estate developer and habitual philanderer. With the help of hard charging private investigator Gus Petch, she has Rex nailed and is looking forward to the financial independence a successful divorce will bring. But thanks to Miles' considerable skills, she ends up with nothing. Not to be outdone, Marylin schemes to get even and as part of her plan, quickly marries oil tycoon Howard Doyle. Miles and his unflappable associate, Wrigley, unwittingly dig themselves in deeper and deeper as they go head-to-head with Marylin. Underhanded tactics, deceptions and an undeniable attraction escalate as Marylin and Miles square off in this classic battle of the sexes.

This is actually quite a good romantic comedy unlike some I could mention *looks up the page with a shiver* Both Catherin Zeta-Jones and George Clunney are very good in their roles and a stunning performance from Jonathon Hadary as Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy and side splitting humour from ass nailing Gus Petch.(Cedric the entertainer)The end if slightly bizarre is hillarious. This really should be seen...HOWEVER if your only gonna see one romantic comedy this year please make it LOVE ACTUALLY (coming soon)

Overall rating: 8/10



The Matrix: Revolutions

Certificate: 15
Genre: SC-FI action
Main characters:
Neo: Keanu Reevs
Agent Smith: Hugo Weaving
Morpheus: Laurence Fishbourne
Trinity: Carrie Anne Moss
Niobi: Jada Pinkett Smith
Merovingian: Lambert Wilson
Train Man:Bruce Spence

Best Line(s):
Trinity: I don't have time for this shit.
[puts gun to Merovingian's head]
Trinity: How's this for a deal? You give me Neo, or we all die, right here, right now.

The machine army continues to drill towards Zion. Within hours, they will overrun the population of the Zionites and lay extinction to human kind. Meanwhile, Neo is held captive by the Merovingian at a train station. Trinity & Morpheus set out on a journey to release him from a mysterious train operator. Also, Smith resumes his quest to kill "Mr. Anderson" as he reveals his identity into the real world and resumes to replicate his program inside the system of The Matrix, causing it to decay. All hope is placed in the freed Neo, who must travel to the city of the machines in the Logos ship with Trinity and bargain to save each kingdom from destruction by finishing Smith once and for all. But even with his new powers over the sentinels, will he be able to fight them off?

Well everything that has a beginning has an end unfortunetly the end is not always as mind warpingly, tounge twistingly fucking amazing as the beginning. This happens to be the case with revolutions. After reloaded my hopes were not too hight however the first couple of scenes (train station and Merovingian's club) are awesome and would have made up for the porrness of reloaded if it had not been for the minor hitch that was the rest of the film! Not wanting to critisise the matrix the rest is not bad by a long shot its just the fact that the stuff that happens in the matrix is soo incredible that its just a big disaointment. In my opinion the whole of reloaded and revolutions would be sooo much better if they scrapped Zion and the whole thing was just a huge face off beween the Merovingian's dudes and the good guys. Still a must see film thought for anyone who has seen the other two.

Overall rating: 5/10



S.W.A.T.

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Action
Main characters:
Jim Street: Colin Farrel
Sg. Dan 'Hondo' Harrelson: Samuel L. Jackson
Chris Sanchez: Michelle Rodriguez

Best Line(s):
Mcabe: No rolls?
Hondo: You only roll in John Woo movies, not real life.

An arrested drug kingpin is transported by a Los Angeles Police Department SWAT team led by Jackson's character out of the city and into federal custody. Plans go awry when the kingpin offers $100 million to anyone who can free him. Old wounds are re-opened.

It's an action film, It's not the best i've seen. With the amount of good films out right now i'd give this one a miss and possibly rent it if you get bored one night. Unless your into bad-ass cop action in which case go for it!

Overall rating: 2.5/10



The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King

Certificate: 12A
Genre: Fantasy Action
Main characters:
Frodo Baggins: Elijah Woods
Sam Wise Gamgee: Sean Astin
Gandalf the White: Sir Ian McKellen
Aragorn (Son of Arathorn): Viggo Motensen
Pippin: Billy Boyd
Merry: Dominic Monaghan
Legolas: Orlando Bloom
Gimli (Son of Gloin): John Rys-Davis
Arwen: Liv Tyler
Elrond: Hugo Weaving
Faramir: David Wenham
Theoden: Bernard Hill
Eowyn: Mirranda Otto
Voice of Gollum/Smeagol: Andy Serkis

Best Line(s):
Aragorn: Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Men of Gondor and Rohan - my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fail... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when all hope comes crashing down, but it is NOT this day! This day, we fight! For all that you hold dear, stand, Men of the West!

The final act in the Lord of The Rings trilogy, following the journey of hobbit's Frodo and Sam who are on a mission to destroy the one ring. Meanwhile Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimly and the lovable Merry and Pippin struggle to save middle earth from the evil of Sauron and give Frodo time.
Obviously, wiothout actually having seen any of the previous films or having read the books that will be a lot of jargan to you in which case don't read on because you sir are a twat and need to get out and buy the fucking films!!!

All good things have to come to an end. This however is soooooo fucking good, that i get the feeling it's be around for a VERY VERY long time! From beginning to very extended end the film is incredible! Legolas provides his usalual smooth, if just a little bit slow, comments and incredible elven stunts (including taking down an Oliphont(sp?)) Sean Astin excells beyond his performance in the last firm. Ian MckKellen is, once again, fantastic and Pippin and Merry are bloody hillarious! If you havn't seen this film yet GO NOW!!!!!

Overall rating: 10/10



Love Actually

Certificate: 15
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Main characters:
The Prime Minister: Hugh Grant
Billy Mack: Bill Nighy
Jamie Bennet: Colin Firth
Daniel: Liam Neeson
Harry: Alan Rickman
Julliet: Keira Knightley
Martine McCutcheon: Natalie
Colin: Kris Marshall

Colin: I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all

Set almost entirely in London, England during five frantic weeks before Christmas follows a web-like pattern of inter-related, losely related and unrelated stories of a dozen or more various individuals with their love lives, or lack of them. The central character is the new bachelor prime minister David who cannot express his growing feelings he feels for his new personal assistant Natalie. The prime minister's older sister Karen slowly grows aware about her husband Harry's flirtation with an office worker named Mia. Karen's friend Daniel is a recently widowed writer whose 11-year-old son asks for love advice to a girl he has a crush on. Meanwhile, Jamie is another writer who leaves his girlfriend after catching her cheating on him and travels to France to write a novel where he persues a possible romance with his non-English speaking Portuguese maid Aurelia. Also, Harry's American secretary Sarah questions a romance she persues with the office hunk Karl, but her personal family problems get in the way. Other secondary characters involve a photographer who persues his best friend's new wife Juliet; a pair of movie stand-ins, named John and Judy, who grow closer after their simulated love scenes; a libious chum who wants to travel to Wisconsin, USA to score with women; and a burned-out former rock star named Billy Mack who is the main connection between all stories involved.

Wow! confusing is it not!? Solution? Go and see it!! This is a very funny film...admintedly not the most coherant! But none the less a perfect christmas movie. Story line, infact, gets a low mark because it completely trails off the best character (Colin) and leaves many of the other's unfinished and unexplained! The acting however is superb and the is full of non-stop hillarity. A must rent for any good sleepover or evening in!

Overall rating: 8/10



Scary Movie 3

Certificate: 15
Genre: Comedy horror
Main characters:
Cindy: Anna Carris
Tom: Charlie Sheen
George: Simon Rex

Brenda: Cindy. This little white girl's messing up my floor.
[punches Tabitha, who falls over]
Brenda: Let me see what you got. What you gonna do?
[Tabitha tries to hit Brenda, but can't]
Brenda: That's all?

Tom: [opening door] Sue?
Sue: I can't sleep. Won't you rock me to sleep in your big, strong arms?
Tom: Where is my daughter?
Sue: Are you mad? I am your daughter.
Tom: No you're not.
[removes dress from daughter revealing it is really Michael Jackson]

Now out of college, the hapless Cindy Campbell is a TV news anchorwoman. Strange things begin to occur when crop circles appear on Tom Logan's farm, but the suspense climaxes when Cindy's best friend Brenda dies an eerie death somehow relating to a killer video tape. After her nephew Cody watches the video tape, Cindy fears the lives of all and takes matters into her own hands, summoning the help of the Oracle and visiting the infatuated Architect on Curlesco Island. From this point on, Cindy uncovers the eerie link between the crop circles and the killer video tape, and must eventually assist the President of the United States in preventing a full-scale alien invasion.

Yet another Scary movie and guess what...It's just as bad as the first two!! This one mimics The Ring and Signs and bits from others such as...the others! Many of the scenes (mianly the ones based on the Ring) are fairly funny and admitedly the film outdoes it's predecessors by a long run but this kind of movie is always destined to flop and Scary Movie 3 is no exception! I wouldn't want this to stop you from seeing the film. And if you enjoyed the first then you'll love it but there's soooo much more you could spend your money on!!

Overall rating: 5/10



Cold Mountain

Certificate: 15
Genre: Romantic Drama
Main characters: W.P Inman: Jude Law
Ada Monroe: Nicole Kidman
Ruby Thewes: Renee Zelweger

Junior: What's up?
Veasey: The Israelites! The tribes of Israel are about to flee from the banks of Egypt! Hallelujah!

Overall rating: 10/10


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