Quotes, Round One
A note, however: These are a lot funnier in context - these are actual quotes from an actual gaming sesssion, spoken by actual people. That's what makes most of these funny.
Sewer Man(NPC): Who are you?
Aelrick(the Ranger): Aelrick. Who are you?
Sewer Man: THat's none of your concern.
Aelrick: Yes it is. You asked me -- it's only polite.
Sewer Man: What are you doing here?
Aelrick: Did you see a bloody big deer run by?
Kevin(the sorcerer): How strong are you?
Aelrick: (sniffs himself)
Kevin: (to innkeeper) We'd like some rooms, please.
Jelora(the druid): I don't need a room. I have my blanket.
Kevin: You use a blanket? Wimp!
Kevin: Shopkeeper, do you have an upstairs?
Shopkeeper: Yes.
Kevin: Where is it?
Aelrick: Upstairs, I'd say.
Aelrick: Shhh....look...look! Hey, shh! Look (points), there's voices!
GM: There's a guy coming towards you.
Aelrick: Does he look like somebody named Al-jahumbody-bumbada?
Kevin: We have an expense account. If we paid these guys, do you think they'd trade clothes with us?
GM: Hieronius is the god of all that is lawful, good and paladin stuff.
(Upon seeing burning wreckage of a town building)
Kevin: Hey, kid! What's the story with the building?
Kid(NPC): When the winged lizard creatures came, the men of the village
decided to shoot flaming arrows at them.
(long silence)
Aelrick: ...and then what?
Kid: 'Then what?' There is no 'then what'! They're not very good shots!
Toben (the paladin): I was attacked by six guys!
Fersil (the monk): With scarves?
Toben: Yes.
Kevin: You were attacked by scarves and got that beaten up? What kind of
Paladin are you?
Kevin: The granary burned? This will be a tough place to live, come winter.
Blacksmith (NPC): Nah. We're a county-subsidized farming unit. 'Tis not our
grain.
Blacksmith: Ours is a good lord.
Fersil: Well, he was up until you burned down his granary...
Blacksmith: Well, we didn't exactly tell him we did it.
Fersil: What did you tell him, exactly?
Blacksmith: Great bloody fire-breathing flying lizard things....
Kevin: We should go talk to those guys--they might know something...besides,
the GM has been dying for us to go over there, all night.
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