1. I will run away when the tide of battle turns against me.
(1.2) I will return when they are sleeping or giving each other
high fives while dividing my treasure.
2. I will fight dirty.
3. The next time I see some humanoid goody two shoes
waving their hands and making weird noises, I will set my
lesser minions on him or her first.
4. Must remember to nurture pet oozes and slimes so they
growth to freakish proportions. I will remember to situate
their living quarters at the bottom of pits or in small closets
behind locked dry rotted doors. "Just kick in the door!"
5. Poison. Not just a good idea. A great idea.
6. Sticks and stones may break their bones, but boiling
oil will scald them.
7. Must remember to have patience when seeking revenge.
I may not be able to defeat the paladin, but I can surely
knock off his or her loved ones while he is off crusading about.
8. I deserve to have numerous loyal minions, because
I have tentacles, three eyes, and darn it, others fear me.
9. Heavily armed warriors aren't as intimidating if you imagine
them naked. They are even less intimidating when sprayed with acid.
10. I will practice my disarm technique; On kittens.
11. I will tone my 'sundering' muscles.
12. If the party manages to kill me or my significant other
minions I will have set aside a "raise dead" fund.
13. Animate dead and haste, perfect together.
14. I will leave around vials labeled "X-tra healing" filled
with strawberry flavored plague.
15. Improving morale of lesser minions is easy if you
hire unscrupulous bards.
16. I will use my perform skill to mislead scrying eyes.
17. Illusions are nature's way of punishing the stupid.
18. I will encourage my minions to speak gibberish in public
and scrawl cryptic runes whenever they fancy. The more
magic they waste, the less the can use to resist my awesomeness.
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