tigersweet2: ok, now seriously, what is going on?
WarriorOctober: hey
WarriorOctober: sorry i was showin stuff to my dad on this comp
WarriorOctober: *sigh*...ya know...honestly when you asked me today why i had been so angry/mean...i didn't have an answer
WarriorOctober: and no that angry xanga post was NOT about you...well i guess maybe it was. the first two lines of the <hate post> part were..and then i just started spouting
nonsense for no reason and i DEFIANTELY don't feel that way about you
WarriorOctober: and you haven't been a dorky jerk
WarriorOctober: i..
WarriorOctober: meh
WarriorOctober: do you want to talk about it online?
WarriorOctober: like i have some things i really need to say
WarriorOctober: and i dunno if i should talk to you in rl about it or just online
tigersweet2: do you really think we'll have the time to talk about it face to face?
tigersweet2: I mean, when do we actually talk?
tigersweet2: I think its easier to say it online, because then you don't forget stuff to say afterwards
WarriorOctober: allright
WarriorOctober: well
WarriorOctober: seriously....i need to be totally honest with you
WarriorOctober: everything im gonna say is 100% the truth
WarriorOctober: i honestly didn't have an answer to give you earlier...but i thought about it a lot today
WarriorOctober: like....a lot
WarriorOctober: and i think that...eh..
WarriorOctober: I've been a jerk to you. Totally. I've brushed you off and I've talked shit about you and it's all just been about me. :-\ I think I've been pissed that you dont and
wont like me no matter what I do, and I've known that for a long time in the back of my head, and for some stupid reason i tell my conciousness that YOU'RE being a stupid bitch
WarriorOctober: when you haven't done anything
WarriorOctober: like
WarriorOctober: im pissed with myself
WarriorOctober: and i take it out on you
WarriorOctober: and yeah maybe you've 'led me on' or whatever
WarriorOctober: but that's no excuse for me to think you're some kind of uber bitch
WarriorOctober: i must sound mega emo and mega fake to you
WarriorOctober: like im just lying to get you to shut up or something
WarriorOctober: but...i can't stress how much it's all 100% true and all comes from the heart
WarriorOctober: i've been a jerk to you for VERY little reason and i've treated you like dirt because i'm not satisfied with myself
WarriorOctober: it's probably a testosterone thing...it's probably me going 'Well if I'm not good enough for her or her type or whatever then there must be something wrong
with her, she's a bitch' when in reality you've done like nothing and im just being a moron
WarriorOctober: and i've been super emo about it
tigersweet2: ok, my internet just shut down like, 3 times, so I'm not sure I got all of that, infact, I know I haven't, but I think I might
understand overall
WarriorOctober wants to directly connect.
tigersweet2: ok
tigersweet2: but like, what started all this?
WarriorOctober cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
tigersweet2: is there any reason, or did you just start getting upset out of nowhere
WarriorOctober: :-(
WarriorOctober: it's probably some kind of like...rejection complex
WarriorOctober: it all just crushes me
WarriorOctober: like everything
WarriorOctober: i was into jacki...she was into me...then one day she just stopped for no explained reason
WarriorOctober: (and honestly her with brad hurts SO bad it's not even funny. and it's so selfish of me but i can't help but feel that way)
WarriorOctober: and then i thought i had a chance with you
WarriorOctober: and one day that just kinda dissolved
WarriorOctober: and i knew a while ago it did
WarriorOctober: i dunno....i haven't had a gf that i liked since freshman year
WarriorOctober: i went out with kaitlyn for two weeks and jenna for a week.....and i think i only went out with them to have someone
WarriorOctober: anyone i've crushed on or had some kind of thing for
WarriorOctober: hasn't panned out
WarriorOctober: i've always been shut down
WarriorOctober: it's........demasculating
tigersweet2: ok, wait while I look that one up
WarriorOctober: i dont know if it's a real world, i mean like...stripping of masculinity
