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Pakistani Jokes

These are jokes on Pakistanis that I found on the internet. I did not make these up. I take no responsibility for them. All I am saying is don't feel offended.

Pakistani Air Force

Pakistan just got their new Chinese fighter planes and sent a squadron of pilots there for training. "Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the Chinese trainer, "even you fools should be able to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one to go left and this one for turning right!" "But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Arfath Pasha. "Oh," said the Chinese "leave that to the Indian Air Force!"

A brain tumour patient with terminal disease was informed that he needed an immediate brain transplant operation. The surgeon told him, "You can have an Indian brain for $10,000 dollars or an American's for $5,000 dollars or I can give you 10 gms. of a Paki's brain for $100,000 dollars." The patient asked, "Why is the Paki's brain so much more expensive than the others?" Well," replied the surgeon, "we have to go through a lot of Pakistanis to find 10 gms of brain."

What happened when there was a power cut at the Karachi airport? Thousands of Pakistanis were stuck on the escalator.

What do you do if you run over a Paki ? Reverse and make sure.

Here's one on smart pakistanis

Q : What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?...

A : Problem...

Q : What do you call 10 Pakis on the moon?...

A : Problem...

Q : What do you call 100 Pakis on the moon?...

A : Problem...

Q :What do you call all the Pakis on the moon?...

A : ................ Problem Solved!

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi (India) found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any. And eventually couldn't control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to relieve himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him. Police : Hey, What do you think you're doing here? Pakistani tourist: Sorry I have to "P". Police: No PP here okay? Follow me... The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Policeman: PP here.. have a nice day. Pakistani tourist: Oh sir... that is very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy? Policeman: No... this is Pakistani Embassy !!

Q. Why did Pakistan only produce 16 Phds in 52 years?

Ans. They only needed 16 to spell doctorate

Q: How do you disable Pakistani missiles?

A: Cut the rubber band.

Q: Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention?

A: The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.

Q: Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash?

A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.

Q. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Pakistanis?

A. He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met

Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well Parvez, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Musharraf "Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls Advani over and asks him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!" "Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed. He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Musharraf, "You've got 24 hours." He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's cabinet is very worried-still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says to himself: "I'll ask Bill Clinton, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Clinton. "Mr.President", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Clinton, "It's me!" "Wonderful!" says the Cabinet member and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Musharraf. "Sir, I've got the answer!". "What is it?" "It's Bill Clinton". "No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "It's Advani".

Saddam Hussien, Adolf Hitler, Mussolini, Fidel Castro, Yasser Arafat and General Musharraf (Pakistan's military ruler) are locked up in a room. If you gave a gun with only 2 bullets to - An Israeli- he would shoot arafat and saddam hussein A CIA officer- he would shoot castro and saddam hussein An Englishman- he would shoot hitler and mussolini An Indian- he would shoot the pakistani once and then after a few seconds again to make sure the Bugger's dead.

Q. How can you tell when a pakistani is lying?

A. His lips are moving.

Q. What will an Indian do if he sees a pakistani buried up to his neck in sand on a beach?

A. Bring in a bucket full of sand and invert it over the paki's head

The Prime minister of India, A.B.Vajpayee decides to go to Pakistan on a state visit.His pakistani counterpart, Gen.Musharraf shows him the state-of-the-art telephone system in Pakistan. Vajpayee even makes a call to hell and speaks to his mom for about 10 minutes. The bill comes to just 1 Pakistani Rupee and he is highly impressed by Pakistan's telephone system. After coming back to India he orders the ministry of communications to come up with an equally good system in record time so that he too can show it to Gen.Musharraf. Indeed when the Pakistani comes to India , Vajpayee shows him the telephone system. The general speaks to his dad in hell for about 10 minutes. But this time, the bill comes to 300 Indian Rupees. Musharraf makes fun of the poor telephone system in India and returns home a happy man. Now Vajpayee is furious and orders the best Indian scientists to find out why the call to hell was so expensive. After extensive research, Indian scientists come up with the answer - the call to hell from India was long distance, but from Pakistan it was only a local call.

An insect falls into a mug of beer... American : Will throw the mug of beer and walk away Englishman : Will take the insect out and drink the beer Pakistani: Will eat the insect and throw the beer away Indian : Will sell the beer to the Englishman and the insect to the Pakistani and will get a new mug of beer.

A war erupts between India and Pakistan. A smart Indian soldier knowing that paki soldiers are absolute morons, decides to use a trick to lure them out of their hiding places. He would hide behind bushes and shout common Pakistani names like Mohammed, khan etc. and the soldier named Khan or Mohammed would get up to say "I am here !" Then the Indian would shoot him down. This goes on till the indian almost wipes out the entire paki army single handedly. The Pakistani leader General Musharraf finally realizes that the indian is killing all his soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use the Indian soldier's own method to kill him. He goes out to the battlefield, hides behind a tree and starts calling out common indian names. The Indian soldier realizing that the Pakistani was using his own trick, suddenly says "Who called me?" Musharraf comes out of his hiding place and says "It was me."

Three guys, a Pakistani, a Srilankan and an Indian are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes totally" says the Genie. The Srilankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in Srilanka was made permanently fertile for farming. The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no Indian can come into our sacred country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan. The Indian remains calm in spite of the Pakistani's blatant insult. The genie then asks him, "Well what is your wish?" The Indian says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds pakistan. Nothing can get in or out." The Indian says, "All right then, fill it up with water."

A Pakistani guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl and the Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Pakistani guy is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. The old woman is thinking: That Pakistani guy must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped. The Pakistani guy is thinking: "Damn it, that Indian guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me and slapped me instead." The beautiful girl is thinking: "That Pakistani guy must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped." The Indian is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Pakistani guy again."