*** The Tonight Show music hits as Jay Leno is seen sitting at his desk drinking some coffee, then addressing the crowd ***

[Jay Leno] Welcome Folks, To the tonight show with Jay Leno! Were being brought to you by Quaker State Oatmeal, America’s Number One Oatmeal. Who cares about that? Not me! Now let’s get right to the program! Tonight we have a variety of guests with us tonight, including none-other-than Kermit the Frog, from The Mole & The Mole 2, Anderson Cooper, and former WCF World & Tag Team champion, Brock Lesnar. Our first guest is Kermit the Frog, so everyone put your hands together, for this friendly frog!

*** All the fans clap and cheer as Kermit the Frog enters the building, and takes a seat on the black leather couches next to Jay Leno ***

[Kermit The Frog] Why, Hello Jay, thanks for inviting me on the show…

[Jay Leno] No Problem Kermit, any friend of the producer is a friend of mine!***Crowd Laughs*** So Kermit, how’s your career going?

[Kermit The Frog] Hmm... Well, my TV career is almost dead!

[Jay Leno] Is that so? Why is that?

[Kermit The Frog] Well, Jay, I don’t know if you’ve been living in a hole for the past 5 years, but no one, and I mean no one is watching the Muppets anymore!

[Jay Leno] What are you talking about? I watch it every week…!

[Kermit The Frog] Well, that’s cause you’re a little on the queerish side!***Crowd Laughs*** But, y’know, I cant make fun of you, you are our only supporter!

[Jay Leno] Well, thanks a lot! So, Kermit, how do you get your career off on the road?

[Kermit The Frog] Very, very simple! Singing! Would you like me to sing you a song…???

[Jay Leno] Well, Kermit, I would be delighted if you sang me a song. Just go up to the microphone and sing your heart away…

[Kermit The Frog] Okay, it’s called “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green”…

*** Kermit The Frog, gets off his black leather seat next to Jay Leno and walks over to the microphone, and taps on the microphone and hears a loud thud… ***

[Kermit The Frog] Okay, Here we go!

[Jay Leno] Kermit the Frog singing “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green”…

[Kermit The Frog]It's not that easy bein' green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold-
or something much more colorful like that.

It's not easy bein' green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy
sparkles in the water- or stars in the sky.

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a
tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? Wonder,
I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.

[Jay Leno] Kermit The Frog everybody…

*** COMMERCIAL BREAK ***

[Jay Leno] Welcome Back Everybody… If you’ve just tuned in, you’ve missed the great, and I mean great singing antics of Kermit the Frog. Well, anyways, onto our next guest, the host of one of America’s most popular reality television shows, and I know this show keeps my mind thinking, the Mole & The Mole 2, Anderson Cooper!

*** Anderson Cooper walks out as the fans cheer more than they did for Kermit The Frog! Anderson now sits down in the chair that was occupied by Kermit The Frog ***

[Jay Leno] Welcome, Anderson Cooper, How are you doing?

[Anderson Cooper] Thanks for Having me on the show Jay, and I’m pretty good, how about yourself?

[Jay Leno] Oh, I’m fine and dandy. Now can I ask you a few question about the new Mole 2 show which airs this summer?

[Anderson Cooper] Sure Jay, anything you want to know…

[Jay Leno] Who is the Mole going to be?

[Anderson Cooper] Is If I’d tell you!

[Jay Leno] You said anything I wanted to know…

[Anderson Cooper] Okay, Almost anything!

[Jay Leno] Okay, now seriously, What can we expect that is different than last season?

[Anderson Cooper] We tried to make this season more viewer friendly. I hear from a lot of people wanting "play at home" aspects of the game. The quiz is included in each episode and viewers can download next week's quiz from abc.com. I think it's funnier this season. Also, there's more ad-libbing that they didn't include in the first season.

[Jay Leno] What is it like to be hosting a show which is shown around the world. Do you feel you have a standard to keep up?

[Anderson Cooper] Definitely. I feel a personal standard to live up to. I don't want to do anything I am embarrassed to do. Cheesy is what I try to avoid. I don't want to do anything I'm not comfortable with. I have a great relationship with the producers and players in each episode. So it's been a great experience so far!

[Jay Leno] Are you ever intimidated by anyone? I would guess not!

[Anderson Cooper] The first season, the first day, I was a little intimidated, not by the players, but just the circumstances. I had never been around such highly motivated people competing for a lot of money. I started out as a combat reporter working overseas. After you've been shot at and chased by a mob, nothing can really intimidate you or scare you too easily.

[Jay Leno] Anderson, please tell me and the viewers at home a bit about yourself…

[Anderson Cooper] I'm 34. I started out after college. I went to Yale, graduated 1989. I worked as a foreign correspondent overseas in Somalia, Rwanda and Bosnia. Then I worked for ABC News for about 6 years, and now I'm doing The Mole. I live in New York. I'm pale, skinny, and have gray hair. You asked for the truth.

[Jay Leno] Hey Anderson, last question, what is your favorite aspect of being the host of The Mole?

[Anderson Cooper] I guess freedom to mock people directly.***Laughs*** Kidding! It's just a nice change of pace. It's nice doing something that is entertainment and fun and life. After 8 years of traveling around the world and seeing a lot of suffering, it's nice to be a part of something that is just entertaining. I guess at the risk of sounding a little cheesy, it is satisfying when people come up to me and tell me they like the show. They like to play along and that's fun.

[Jay Leno] Okay, Anderson, it was a pleasure having you on our show…

[Anderson Cooper] Now, Jay, the pleasure is all mine…

[Jay Leno] Stick around folks, we’ll be right back, after these short messages from our sponsors… including that awful Quaker State oatmeal crap! Blach!

*** COMMERCIAL BREAK ***

[Jay Leno] Welcome Back, to the tonight show with Jay Leno. I’m Jay Leno, and if you’ve just turned on your television set, you’ve missed a bunch! You’ve missed a great performance from Kermit the Frog singing “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green”, a great song, and you’ve missed a bit of Q & A with the host of the Mole & the Mole 2, Anderson Cooper! Now, Folks, we have a little treat for you, we have WCF Superstar, former World & Tag Team Champion, Brock “THE NEXT BIG THING” Lesnar!

*** Brock Lesnar walks in wearing his usual wrestling attire, and the crowd actually give him a mixed reaction. He looks around the place and up at the ceiling before sitting in the same leather seat Kermit the Frog and Anderson Cooper had previously sat in ***

[Jay Leno] Hey Brock Lesnar, thanks for coming on the show…

No Problem, It’s nice to talk to someone outside of the wrestling industry once and a while…

[Jay Leno] Um… Yeah, I Guess! So Brock, you are fairly new to the WCF aren’t you?

Well, yes, I am new, but not to the sport. I’ve been wrestling for twenty years down in the amateur level, in REAL wrestling!

[Jay Leno] Now Brock, your current record, it’s 7-2-0, right? Where did that come from?

Well, My seven wins, came off of, Scott Steiner, Hulk Hogan (3x), The Undertaker, The Rock, and Kevin Nash. My two losses came unfairly at the hands of Hulk Hogan, and Buff Bagwell. I have no current draws on my record…

[Jay Leno] Now, Brock, you’ve held the Tag-Team Championship before, what was that like?

What was that like, hmm… Well, my partner was Mike Awesome, back when I was in the “Stupid” Inner Circle. We had beat the Dudley Boyz for the Title, and I so far am undefeated in Tag-Team Wrestling. One match wrestled, One match won, One Tag Title Reign! I never lost my title, but Stupid Vince Russo stripped it of me, and gave it to the lollygagger, Chris Benoit, just because I came to my sense and left the Inner Circle!

[Jay Leno] Oh, I see, what about your World Title reign, what was that like?

Oh, let me tell you, Jay, it was the best thing in the World. Being only in the WCF for two weeks and already holding the best damn title the business has to offer, is just great! Well, I beat The Undertaker for it, shortly after the WCF Roster Split happened, and I lost it in a well-fought match against Buff Bagwell. But I got my revenge against Buff! I took his manager and started a stable with her! That stable is still strong today! The Dominant Army!

[Jay Leno] Oh Really, Who are the members of that stable?

Well, the members? They are Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley (My Boss), Brock Lesnar (Myself), Paul Heyman (My Agent), Chris Jericho (Y2J), and I’m not sure if Justin Credible is in it or not, because he did request some time off, but anyways, that’s mostly the members. I might have forgotten someone, but I really don’t care, I’m really tired!

[Jay Leno] Well, this is the LATE show! Now, Brock, what is your upcoming match for, and who is it against?

My Upcoming match is for the annual King Of The Ring tournament, and it is a qualifying match. It is against the Roody-Poo Candy Ass Himself, the Rock! I know for sure, I will advance and become The King Of The Ring! For Sure!

[Jay Leno] Well, Brock, how are you so sure?

How am I so sure? I’m Brock Lesnar! I’m the greatest Athlete the WCF has to offer, and your asking me how am I so sure that I’m going to beat the Rock and become the King Of The Ring! Let’s put it this way Jay, who’s better Brock of The Rock? I don’t care what you say, because everyone knows Brock is better! I’ve held the World Title and Tag-Team Titles; Rock has only held the sleazy European title! What do you expect to accomplish with that? Nothing! I have beaten the Rock before, what makes him think the outcome will be any different? It wont! I’m just to powerful for him! Look at me! I said Look at me Dammit! I’m the Perfect Physical Specimen! I am the Strongest Man, in WCF, if not the Whole Wrestling World! Look at me! My Fu*king Tattoo on my back is bigger than the Rock’s whole Body…

[Jay Leno] Now, Brock, watch it with the swearing…

What?????????????????

[Jay Leno] Okay, you can do whatever you want… Please don’t hurt me…

Good, and as long as you don’t do anything stupid, I wont hurt you!

[Jay Leno] Okay, now Brock, you have faced the Rock before, what was it like? Difficult? Easy? Medium?

Jay? Sometimes I doubt your intelligence! What do you think it was for me? I’m Brock Lesnar!!! Of course it was easy! It’s only the Rock we’re talking about, not God or something like that! I am a lot better than the Rock! Rocky can think what he wants, but he knows it! He knows he is no match for me… I’m Brock Lesnar! Jay, if I wanted I could crack your skull and spine right now the middle, would you like me to do that to you? That’s what I thought! That’s the extreme power I have! That walking piece of catch phrases cant cut it! In the wrestling world, it’s might be all about the microphone work, and crap like that, but when you step into the ring with Brock Lesnar, it’s the total opposite! It’s all about the actual wrestling, and Rock will see exactly what I mean when he steps into the ring, and he will probably cry when he realizes that his mic skills don’t do anything against pure raw force! He will go crying to his momma’ when he realizes I will hurt him, because the truth is, I WILL hurt him! I WILL HURT HIM BAD! And then he will realize there is nothing left to do, but sit down in his hospital bead playing Nintendo, or something like that! Rock, I couldn’t care less what you do when you’re in your hospital bead because the fact will be that I will have made it on in the tournament for the King Of The Ring, and I will be one step closer to being crowned than you will Rock! You’ll be lucky to win next year, and that’s only if I’m not around… Hell, Rock, you’ll be lucky to come out of our match alive! You might say your going to get Paul Heyman, shine him up real nice, turn that sumb*tch sideways, and stick him straight up my candy ass, or you might even say that you’ll take the ring post, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbi*tch sideways, and stick is straight up my candy ass, but do you see my doing anything about it? No… Do you see me scared? No… Do you see me giving a shit about what you say? No! That’s the truth! I don’t care! He can say or do what he wants, but when it’s all said and done, and one person’s hand is raised and declared the winner, who will it be? Not you, Rocky! Me! It will be “The Next Big Thing” Brock Lesnar! Hell, I’m Big enough Now! I don’t need to be The NEXT Big Thing! I am Already a BIG THING! Rock, you might be a Big Thing now, but Trust Me! Just Trust Me Rock, when you step into the ring with Brock Lesnar, I’ll downsize you, until you fit into my pocket, than I’ll step on you, and make my way up the ladder to fame. You see, you’re just standing in my way of become even more successful than I already am, and I don’t like that! You’ve stood in my way before Rock, and I’ve taken you down, and now Rock, you’ve stood in my way long enough! As soon as I take you down, AGAIN, I’m going for the King Of The Ring, and once I win that, I get my title shot, since I EARNED my number one contender spot, on the last Smackdown, and I will win the title for the second time! I will be a two time World Champion! That’s better than almost everyone in this damn federation! Hell, I’ was the one to end Undertakers 2 Month Plus Title Reign, Not You Rock!

[Jay Leno] Wow, Brock, that was impressive, and it seems we are out of time, so tune in next time when my guests are another Muppet, Miss Piggy, from Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray Romano, and the black golf superstar, Tiger Woods… See-Ya Later…

*** Brock Lesnar shakes Jay Leno’s hand as the Credits roll down the screen and the show fades away… ***