* I will not smoke while I am being punished.
* I will not carve my name on the flogger handles.
* I will not spank others without Masters permission.
* I will not aim for Master's head. (the upper one)
* I will not yell the Safeword in the grocery store.
* I will not sell the names of my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer.
* I will not read and giggle at Master's logs from the Dom Forum.
* I will not yell fire every time Master lights a candle.
* Funny noises are not really funny.
* I will not laugh as Master farts during a scene.
* I will not slap Master with my bra.
* Punishment is not boring or pointless.
* I will not call Master "Dr. Death".
* I will not defame the Eugenspeil Society.
* I will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's D/s party.
* I will not hide the newbies or send them Snipe Dom hunting.
* I will not bring sheep to the subbie forum.
* A burp is not an appropriate response to Master.
* I will not eat all Master's M & M's while he is at work.
* I will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum.
* Gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet.
* Gags are not to be used as pot holders.
* I will not call Master "spud head", "butt head" or any kind of "head".
* Masters ARE perfect. (sorta)
* Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master.
* I will NOT wear panties.
* I will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master's D/s parties.
* I will not peek out of the blindfold. (much)
* There is no such thing as "sub immunity".
* I will not sneak in the bathroom when I don't have permission.
* I did not win an Emmy for my last session.
* I will not hide all Master's toys.
* All play and no work does not a good sub make.
* I will not say "Master you're the bestest & biggest" just to get a spanking.
* I cannot fire Master.
* My last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers.
* I will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips.
* I will refrain from saying "Heil Hitler!" when I don't like Master's orders.
* I will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month Anniversary.
* I will not waste wax!! by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clamps.
* I will not use Master's bondage table for a skateboard ramp.
* I will not use Master's bondage table for a slide into the pool.
* I will not wear Master's underwear on my head !!
* I will not tell Master his feet stink when he commands me to BOOTS!
* Master's dog does not stink !
* I will not torment the newbies with the Violet Wand !
* I will not use the pages from Master's Dom Handbook to start the grill.
* I will not giggle uncontrollably when the cat decides to "help" Master.
* Nor will I remind him that he is Sub for the Cat.
* I will remember that washing Masters shorts with my red sweatshirt is bad.
* I will try to remember that Masters are allowed to snore.
* I will not cut and paste my Master's IMs to the chat room.
* "All the other Dom's let their subs do it" is not a valid excuse.
* I will not giggle when my Master is lecturing me.
* I will not get my subbie friends into trouble; they do that on their own.
* I will not refer to my Master as "Cute" when he is angry...but he is.
* I will not flash my Master when he is playing Jenga.
* Patience is not something found in hospitals.
* "Ow, that hurt" is not my safeword.
* I will not suggest we paint the ceiling beige when I am bound on my back.
* I will not correct my Master by telling him that my directions are better than his. (Even though they are!)