Pretty cricket!

The current super-hot Ashes series is promting normally anti-cricket people to take an interest in the sport, meaning that more and more people are switching to channel 4, only to be confounded by many burning a question, including the following:

"Why are they all touching each other?"

"Why do they keep rubbing the ball over their crotches?"

"Who the hell are these pretty pretty men!?"

Answers lie below.

Quote of the Day "Michael [Vaughan] may look a little like an angelic schoolboy but don't be fooled. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it." --Steve Harmison Mmm. Kinky!

So who are these super hawt Ashes cricketers anyway?
Cricket? Ahahar - that game is for non-athletic ugly people. Isn't it?
I don't understand. Who's Pigeon, and why does no one like him?
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