Spambusters character action
Original thing being MiST'd
TITLE: Spambusters, Edition 9
AUTHOR: Robin Elizabeth
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: none without prior consent (aka, gotta ask me first)
NOTES: non beta'd. written in about 1/2 hour.
DISCLAIMER: The only character in this edition I own is myself. The rest belong to themselves and/or WWFE (much to my chagrin).
SUMMARY: The unusual suspects ("me", Sean O'Haire, Shane McMahon, Chuck Palumbo and Test)MiSTie 2 pieces of spam.
Robin: Our next piece of bad spam-
Sean: There's good spam?
Robin: Our next piece of spam was sent in by Missy!
Chuck: I'm guessing you expect us to thank her.
Robin: Not just thank her... I was thinking lap dance.
Shane: I'm not doing it!
Sean: Don't even look at me. There's no way in hell-
Robin: Don't worry Sean, wasn't thinking about you. You're reserved.
Sean: I know I shouldn't ask, but for who?
Robin: ::evil laugh::
Chuck: I'm not either doing it either. I've never done a lap dance in my life and I'm not about to start.
Test: I can't. Too tall.
Robin: Well, we need to give Missy some kind of present for sending in this spam to us.
Sean: We should give her a present for this torture?
Robin: Aw, come on! Be a sport! It's short anyway.
Test: Like you.
Robin:::glares at Test::
Shane: Let's get to the spam before WW3 erupts.
Subject : You Know Who?
Sean: I hate Guess Who? games. Robin: I know who! But that's just b/c I pre-read the spam's beginning.
My dearest Member, Shane: Member of what? Although I think I don't want the answer either.
Have you ever wondered why so much of life is a mystery? Shane: Because we don't come with instruction manuals? Test: Or because we can't see into the future?
Member, you may have a general idea of who you are and what you're going to do next, but most of the time it's those quick little moments and decisions that unexpectedly change the course of your life.
Sean: I have more than just a general idea of who I am! Shane: It's the quick little moments like planning for months to buy WCW from under your father's nose! Test: Or the quick little moments like getting your ass handed to you for no reason...then joining the Alliance. Chuck: And we're glad you did.
These sudden key moments, Member, can radically influence your life! They ripple away like waves and touch every part of your existence... Sean: Don't those ripples eventually disappear? Shane: And what's with this Member stuff?
I know that you're encountering difficulties, Member, that are causing you pain. It's going to be OK.
Robin: Well, thank you very much. Shane: Ugh! Will the writer of the spam *please* stop with the Member crap! Robin: Alright Shane, no need to get your panties in a bunch. Sean: I think he's seen too much spam and bad literature. Robin: I think you're right. Let's see how he does with the rest of this.
You must have friends in high places, Member, because I've been authorized to issue you a FREE Tarot reading!
Test: Well, yippee-ki-ay, seeing as how I can have a free Tarot reading whenever I want anyway. ::glances at Robin:: Robin: Yeah, except I'm not that good at it. Test: Neither is this broad.
Without any cost or obligation, you may now discover the truth! Shane: If unsatisfied with your trial issues, just write CANCEL on the bill and owe us nothing. The trial issues are yours to keep free.
You are destined to become much more than what you've been taught. Robin: Well that's good b/c I didn't learn a whole hell of a lot in North Branford.
Member, for the best results, call immediately for your FREE reading: 1-800-229-9156 What if I told you, Member, that there are ways to see what's going to happen to you, and that you can know the outcome of your key moments! Sean: First I'd need to know what my key moments are. Then I'd care about the outcome. Chuck: Like this person would know the key moments if you didn't.
My personal connection to you, Member, and my spiritual experience has the power to make your wishes come true! Test: Am I the only one who doesn't like the sound of this chick having a personal connection to me? Robin: You're not the only one. Sean: Get this... she doesn't just read Tarot cards, she's a genie in a bottle too? Chuck: Since when did Christina Aguilera need to start a Tarot card scam operation?
Call my toll-FREE number and begin to see your life from a new viewpoint. It's crucial, however, that you call within the next 3 days! Shane: Because this phone number will self-destruct after 3 days.
You have nothing to lose! Right away, call toll-free 1-800-229-9156. Test: Why right away if we have 3 days? Robin: Maybe they think a sense of urgency will get more people to call sooner?
Love always, Miss Cleo Shane: Miss Cleo??? Sean: Should've known. But without the accent, could've been anyone.
PS. I'm going to hold your hand through this one, Member. You're going to make it! Call me now!
ALL: Call me now! Robin: Since when do we need our hands held for a fake reading?
Must be 18+. For entertainment purposes only.
Robin: Well, she couldn't have helped me pick a college if she was operating in '96-'97. Test: Why not? Robin: I was 17. Sean: Why is it that she made it sound she could alter lives, then at the end it states 'for entertainment purposes only'? Chuck: CYA. Shane: Something I'm good at. Robin and Sean: He needs a vacation.
This offer is brought to you by Joyce Jillson. If you do not wish to receive future promotions from Joyce Jillson, click here to unsubscribe. Sean: Who's Joyce Jillson? Chuck: Probably Miss Cleo's real name. Robin: Miss Joyce... doesn't have that ring to it that Miss Cleo does. *** *** Robin: Well, for part b to this edition, we've sent Shane on vacation to sunny Hawaii. He's done so much good MiSTing that I don't to fry his brain. Test:::snickers:: Robin: Don't say it. Sean: So, who sent in this spam? Robin: No one, I found it in one of my AOL inboxes. It's short, but almost frightening.
Subject: u were right Sean: About what?
message: Mrs. Carrera, this is James, your daughters ex boyfriend. Chuck: Did you used to date someone named James? Robin: No, but my mom's last name isn't Carrera either.
I know you probably dont like me right now, and you think im a bad guy, but I just want you to know i was in love with your daughter. ALL: ::shakes heads:: How many times must we repeat SPELL and GRAMMAR
check!
i only wanted the best for her. but shes doing horrible things on the internet. she posted pictures of herself on this adult website. Test: Robin, you're giving us a porno spam! I'm amazed. Robin: I'm sure you are. Anyway, it was a more interesting one anyway. Sean: I'm sure this James guy helped with the pictures too. Chuck: Probably gave her the camera.
if you want to see them go to keyword: ***. dont worry, you wont have to pay, its free for the whole world to see. Test: Where's the link? Robin: Gone, I guess. Didn't transfer from AOHell. Chuck: I'm sure this chick's mom wants to see pictures of her daughter on an adult website. Sean: And free for the whole world to see? Comforting it's not. I can see why the mom doesn't like this guy.
tell jennifer i miss her and im sorry =( bye Mrs. Carrera. Sean: Sorry for what? I'm sure he's not sorry about the pictures, that's for sure. Chuck: What kind of moron would send an email like this to someone's mother? Test: This is an odd spam. Mass email like this? Robin: And he's even got an emoticon. *** *** Sean: Please tell me this edition's over. Robin: It is. Sean: Good. I need a break from all this spam and bad literature. Robin: Good. That'll give me time to finish that story I've been working on. Chuck: Have fun. I know we can't stop you. Robin: Damn straight! Test: Good night everyone!
