This page provides a short "Guide to Life."
Are you a naive person?

Do you find day-to-day life hard?
Do you wish your brain had an owner's manual?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you've come to the right place.

---

Here you will find the information you need to live life without hurting yourself.
But first, a personal thought.

It is officially summer in the Northeast.
And
My twenty one year old daughter graduated in May 2006, from UCONN college in CT.
I really am proud of her!

Oh, Well!Waiting for her to get a job, and leave home.

I will raise a daughter through her teenage years and into adulthood.
This unfortunately, is a little bit like insisting you will pull the trigger no more then five times during your throw at Russian roulette.

---

The Guide

• Never, go out without keys.
  

• I will raise a daughter through her teenage years and into adulthood... This unfortunately, is a little bit like insisting you will pull the trigger no more then five times during your throw at Russian roulette.

• If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

• Lock your locker, don't be naive.

• If you wait to do it, then it just gets harder.

• Don't believe it if someone says "Honesty" or "It's the truth, I swear" and also liars touch their faces or repeat the question.
  Example: Clarrisa Flockhart saying... "Am I anorexic? I would have to say no."

• When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

• If you ever meet the President, don't offer him a surprise gift, by suddenly whipping it out of your pocket.

• When you are broken-up, you are broken.
  Do NOT try to fix this with a phone call, ever!

• The warning "Don't try this at home" really means "Don't try this at all."

• The expression "Life in the fast line" should not inspire you.

• For all pertinent tasks, use a hammer, not your fist.

• Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.

• When people say these are the best days of your life, they could be lying or have a really bad memory.

• Chemistry between to people is usually felt by both, if you're attracted to him then he's probably attracted to you.
  

  ---

• Don't flip off the Mafia.

• If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.

• Light birthday cake candles from back to front.

• Don't NOT shave your legs, etc. for days, even though it is winter.

• Don't breathe car exhaust.

• Don't stick screwdrivers into electrical outlets.

• Although they are sold in grocery stories, batteries are not food.

  
  

• Don't sled down hills with interstates at the bottom.

• Don't try to enlarge any part of your body.

• Forks need carry food no farther than your mouth.

• Don't try to reduce only one part of your body.

• Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

• Don't dry shave your legs.

• Don't lick dry ice.
  
  
  

  UPDATED ON 10/10/08
  ©COPYRIGHT 2002-2009
  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.