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Life Lessons, For Fun and Profit.



A Naive Person's Guide To Life


HEY!, YOU!


Yesterday is but a memory,
Tomorrow an uncharted course.
So live today, so it will be
a memory without remorse.


This page provides a short "Guide to Life."
???IMAGES GO HERE Are you a naive person?NaiveeyesNO

Do you find day-to-day life hard?
Do you wish your brain had an owner's manual?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you've come to the right place.

Here you will find the information you need to live life without hurting yourself.
But first, a personal thought.

flush
It is officially winter in the Northeast.shovel
And
My twenty one year old daughter graduated in May 2006, from UCONN college in CT.
I really am proud of her!

Oh, Well!Waiting for her to get a job, and leave home.

Update! Married and happy. April 2011.


I will raise a daughter through her teenage years and into adulthood.
This unfortunately, is a little bit like insisting you will pull the trigger no more then five times during your throw at Russian roulette.


The Guide

  • Never, go out without keys.

  • I will raise a daughter through her teenage years and into adulthood... This unfortunately, is a little bit like insisting you will pull the trigger no more then five times during your throw at Russian roulette.

  • If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

  • Lock your locker, don't be naive.

  • If you wait to do it, then it just gets harder.

  • Don't believe it if someone says "Honesty" or "It's the truth, I swear" and also liars touch their faces or repeat the question.
    Example: Clarrisa Flockhart saying... "Am I anorexic? I would have to say no."

  • When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

  • If you ever meet the President, don't offer him a surprise gift, by suddenly whipping it out of your pocket.

  • When you are broken-up, you are broken.
    Do NOT try to fix this with a phone call, ever!

  • The warning "Don't try this at home" really means "Don't try this at all."

  • The expression "Life in the fast line" should not inspire you.

  • For all pertinent tasks, use a hammer, not your fist.

  • Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.

  • When people say these are the best days of your life, they could be lying or have a really bad memory.

  • Chemistry between to people is usually felt by both, if you're attracted to him then he's probably attracted to you.

  • Don't flip off the Mafia.

  • If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.

  • Light birthday cake candles from back to front.

  • Don't NOT shave your legs, etc. for days, even though it is winter.

  • Don't breathe car exhaust.

  • Don't stick screwdrivers into electrical outlets.

  • Although they are sold in grocery stories, batteries are not food.

    FUNNY

  • Don't sled down hills with interstates at the bottom.

  • Don't try to enlarge any part of your body.

  • Forks need carry food no farther than your mouth.

  • Don't try to reduce only one part of your body.

  • Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

  • Don't dry shave your legs.

  • Don't lick dry ice.


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    UPDATED ON 11/1/12
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