|
|
Bumper
Talk
The
best of Bumper Sticker humor that I've collected over the years.
Enjoy!
- Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
- As long as there
are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- Laugh alone and
the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Sometimes I wake
up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
- It's as BAD as
you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- I took an IQ
test and the results were negative.
- Time is the best
teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!
- Be nice to your
kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- I don't suffer
from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- It's lonely at
the top, but you eat better.
- If we aren't
supposed to eat amimals, why are they made with meat?
- Your kid may
be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
- Some people are
alive only because it is illegal to kill.
- Make it idiot
proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- He who laughs
last thinks slowest.
- The more people
I meet, the more I like my dog.
- I may be fat,
but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
- Hard work has
a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
- If God intended
man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
- Eagles may soar,
but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- The early bird
gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I just let my
mind wander, and it didn't come back.
- All I want is
less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it
done.
- Nobody's perfect.
I'm a Nobody.
- I intend to live
forever - so far, so good.
- I used to have
an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- I didn't fight
my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Diplomacy is
the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- This would be
really funny if it weren't happening to me. new
- Eat right, exercise,
die anyway. new
- If walking is
so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the
Hut? new
- Money isn't everything,
but it sure Keeps the kids in touch. new

On
Driving
- Cover me. I'm
changing lanes.
- If you don't
like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.
- I may be slow,
but I am ahead of you!
- I hear you lost
your cat? Check under my tire.
- If everything
is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
- CAUTION! I drive
like you do!
- Keep honking,
I'm reloading.
- I brake for…wait…AAAH!…NO
BRAKES!!!!!
- I'm not driving
fast-just flying low.
- Guns don't kill
people. I DO!

Miscellaneous
- If Clinton is
the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
- I LIKE CATS!
They taste like chicken.
- Very funny, Scotty.
Now beam down my clothes.
- Don't steal.
The government hates competition.
- Sorry, I don't
date outside my species.
- Where there's
a will, I want to be in it!
- How Can I Miss
You if You Won't Go Away?
- I still miss
my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
- I love animals.
I eat them and wear their skins.
- Welcome to California.
Now go home!
- If we aren't
supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- Sex on television
can't hurt you unless you fall off.

|