CRTD: Chronic Rap Talking Disorder…What is it?
In the following, you will find out what CRTD is, and if you have it, and even how you can cure it.
WHAT IS CRTD?
Well, CRTD, that is Chronic Rap Talking Disorder, is a curable disease that you can get from listening to too much rap music.
If you listen to rap constantly, you may have CRTD. If you slur your words together, or call people “mutha fucka’s”, then you probably have CRTD. If you say this like “dis” or that like “dat”, or with like “wit”, then you probably have CRTD.
So, what is wrong with saying these things? Well, for one thing you sound like a fucking idiot. For another, you sound like rappers, and they sound like fucking idiots. It also makes you sound like an uneducated piece of shit. Try talking to someone that has CRTD and understanding them without using the CRTD Translation guide. It’s impossible.
DO YOU HAVE CRTD?
If you think you sound like you may have CRTD, go find a tape recorder and tape yourself while you talk to someone on the phone. Or talk to yourself for a while. Ok, now after you have talked for about 10 minutes, listen to it. Count up how many times you said the following words or phrases:
“Dis”
“Dat”
“Wit”
“Motha Fucka”
“Da Bomb”
Mad Phat”
Busta cap on yo ass”
If you said one of these, only one time, then you have a very mild, easily curable case of CTRD.
If you said any of these words and phrases a total of 2-5 times, you have a semi-mild case of CRTD that is pretty easily cured.
If you said anything on this list for a total of ten times, then you have the worst case of CRTD.
First, let me point out that you sound like a fucking idiot. Also, I can guess that when you want to grow up you want to be a rapper. Well, now you ARE a fucking idiot.
HOW CAN YOU CURE CRTD?
Ok, now if you have the mild case of CRTD, you are fine. You are a regular person that has heard rap once or twice, was astonished at how much it sucked, and never listened to it again. If you want to cure your case of CRTD, which isn’t even needed, then simply concentrate for 10 minutes on saying the word in its translation like so:
“Dis” say this
“Dat” say that
“Wit” says with
“Motha Fucka” say mother fucker
“Da Bomb” say awesome, or pretty cool
Mad Phat” say very cool
Busta cap on yo ass” say kick your ass
Concentrate on that for 10 minutes and you should be fine.
If you have the 2nd case of CRTD, then do the same as above, with every word, except I suggest 15 minutes for each word you used.
If you have the 3rd worst case of CRTD, my only suggestion is to go jump off of a bridge. HaHa. I was only kidding. Now seriously, if you want to stop sounding like a fucking idiot, then take my suggestions:
1) STOP LISTENING TO RAP.
2) Start listening to people who talk right, like good ol’ alternative or metal music.
3) Do the above procedure, except do it for 20 minutes for EVERY word in the CRTD Translation Dictionary. This will take a while, but it will help in the end.
4) If none of this works, now I suggest to actually go jump off of a bridge. HaHa. I was kidding there too
