frustration, i see ,is going to be a familiar feeling when it comes to building this thing. i spent about two hours typing up this entry the other day and for some reason it didn't post ,i have some of it written down and i could tell myself that it is just a draft, that i wasn't finished but oh hell, i guess i better get used to that huh .i am little pissed that it happened ,but oh well.the space bar thing is way more frustrating than that. last year on the eighth of september the ny state police decided to pay me a visit but i wasn't at home, so they came to my work. you see, i was partying with a friend of mine and some asshole he was with and the guy died. they were trying to score some crack and they ended up buying 60 dollars worth of chalk . they were bummed out, so when my heroin dealer showed up they bought two bags of it. they had been drinking and doing god knows what else all day and i told him that it was a bad idea to be doing heroin . i said that the valley kid(a kid from the valley in hollywood , california) had done six beers and two shots and damn near died, off a half of a bag.i said,you are way too sensitive to dope to be doing any right now.he says the kid from the fuckin' valley ,i took half of their dope before they even got it.twenty minutes later oney was struggling for breath, i go you fucking asshole,i told you so ,i get him breathing and tell his friend go get his car and come back. he does and while he was gone i went into his pockets and took the rest of the dope. and then i got oney on his feet and walking around . when the kid came back we walked oney to the car. i told the kid, if he starts breathing like that again....and i saw the look in this kids eye and then i said i think you're gonna need to take oney to the hospital, the kid says is that gonna happen to me? and i told him if that was gonna happen it already would have , but you aren't gonna be able to keep an eye on him and he needs it so go to the hospital. they leave. the next day here comes the staties .i guess that the kid took him home and god knows why gives the guy valium,and he dies,and then tells the cops that i gave the guy heroin and that i was some big time dealer and that i shot him up and all this crazy shit and the cops believed it. oney died at 830 AM kid found him at 1130 and based on what he told them ,they got a warrant at 345 abnd were in my house by 4PM. at six they came to my job and arrested me, in front of customers and they were talking about criminal negligent homicide and that they found a bunch of heroin (200 dollars worth , less than two grams) in my house and then they took me to jail. they put me on the radio and tv news, put me in the paper and included a map to my house. while i was locked up someone tried to break in and steal my shit. and then they told my girlfriend that if she wouldn't testify against me that they would violate her probation ,so now we were both locked up. then my landlord told my folks that they were going to throw all my shit into a dumpster, so a good friend of mine rented a u-haul and stored our stuff in his barn in a town named spencer(a really small, dry town where people are fucking crazy,and incest runs rampant.i think it is the official town pastime) meanwhile they offer me a two-to-four for the whole situation and i said no fucking way ,because i was not guilty of the crimes they were charging me with, the next day they released me. i went to the barn to get some clothes , and went out with a couple friends and got drunk . while i was passed out in the truck they robbed a pot dealer and the dealer called the police and when the cops found out i was with them,even though i was sleeping and had no idea that this had even happened they assumed i was the "ringleader". they assumed that this was a heroin debt and one of the guys in the truck let them believe it . so they arrested me again and then while i was in jail, a volunteer fire-man in spencer started causing fires and the barn all of my worldly possessions were in was his first fire! he eventually got caught because he was the first man at the scene of the fires, fucking dumb ass! so when i got out the second time, i had no job and no place to live and for a week ,no girlfriend . life was miserable, but i guess it couldn't get much worse right? then my mom had a major stroke and needed brain surgery , and after the surgery i had to move in to help her out with stuff and to take care of her ,i haven't lived at home since i was 15 and now here i am at 36 living with my girlfriend at my mommy's house(how pathetic,i am surprised she didn't leave me right on the spot). then an old charge from '97 popped up and they gave me three years probation. then they gave me another three for the heroin charge . and just recently kane christianson, the dumb ass valium dealer got, 1 and 1/3rd to 4 for criminal negligent homicide for not taking oney to the hospital and then giving him valium after i told him he needed medical attention .and so here i am sitting in this chair griping to you about it whoever you may be.