A Day in the Life of a Valet
I started off as a lowly valet and eventually became half-owner of a valet business. we had the contracts of several nightclubs, fine dining restaurants, private parties , a couple .com places and best of all-strip clubs. one in particular was owned by a porn producer so i got to meet many , many , porn stars . anyway one of the clubs i worked at was fully nude and because it was fully nude you had to bring your own alcohol. so when i decided to go out and party that was the place i would usually go to .i got along especially well with the head manager mark , the head doorman ernie , and a bouncer named james. we'd get a bunch of beer and liquor and give it to the girls to ensure that we would get special attention from the ladies.
mandy was a gorgeous girl, she was all-state swimmer,in texas no less , in high school . she was beautifully toned and was extremely pretty. one night a cruel twist of fate came mandy's way, in an instant her life was changed forever. while driving home, a drunk hit her head on while driving an enormous buick. mandy was in her little mazda rx-7. the tiny japanese sports car was no match for the hulk of metal the careened over the double yellow line at 60. he didn't even hit the brakes he was so obliterated. in a matter of ten seconds mandy's leg just below the knee and the rest of her body went their separate ways,never to see each other again. mandy refused to let the accident slow her down, she went to physical therapy everyday for a year and a half and got a prosthetic leg and she returned to dancing. although she didn't have to work , and never would due to the settlement from the accident, yet i think she felt she needed to feel attractive and if a guy was willing to pay her for her company well in her eyes she was still pretty.
prosthetic limb or no, i thought she was fucking gorgeous. if you didn't know that she had a prop-as she calls it- you couldn't tell it was fake. she would do silly stuff , like let it fall off if a guy was disrespecting her and if someone pissed her off she'd throw the foot part at them . she had two different feet for the prop ; one was flat for sneakers and other flat-footed articles of foot wear and another was arched for high heels and the like. it really is pretty amazing what they can do these days if you lose a limb. they took her skin color and matched it perfectly to her prosthetic ,and gave her tanning ointment to even out the sun coloring.
mark, ernie , james , and i were sitting at a table drinking and carrying on the way drunken friends in a strip club do. i was watching mandy dance for an asian man at the table next to us. i was trying not to be obvious that i was watching , but when you are as drunk as i was you lose all of your stealth, assuming you had some to begin with. if not you're just more clumsy and oafish then you already were. but mandy knew i was watching her and she didn't mind at all, she began to look at me as she danced for her Asian man.
the boys and i continued our blast of a time we were in the VIP room , where we were supposed to be having that much better of a time,hey it's VIP. a few girls were sitting at the table with us partying. normally , one of the managers or floor bosses would pull the girls aside and say "if you ain't dancin' you're leavin'." or something less kind but since mark was THE boss exceptions were made-naturally. mandy had finished her dance with mr.chaing and excused herself from his own little party he and his friends had going. the other girls at his table were staying. there was money here and the girls could smell it like a shark can smell blood in the water, and they weren't leaving until they had every dime in their pockets/purses whatever.
mandy sat down on my lap and asked for a drink . i poured her a stiff crown and coke. i had a good buzz going and before mandy had even sat down . james and i had been trying to top the other with saying the most offensive outrageous thing one could think of, poor mandy never even had a chance. i told her i thought that mandy didn't really fit her personality and that she should change it,i paused as if i was thinking of a name and then i said "how 'bout eileen?" james laughed so hard his captain morgan's and ginger ale spurted from his nose like a faucet. mandy stared at me, eyes wide mouth wider , but smiling. i noticed the pierced and got turned on , which she noticed right away. "oh shit!"ernie yelled and mark laughed hysterically , but none of the girls did i went from the table comedian to complete asshole in a millisecond as it registered on the slower ones "yeah", i continued "mr.chaig's " table could call you irene" more guffaws from the boys and now some of the girls added a couple nervous titters here and there. mandy took it in good spirit . she had a great sense of humor ,which added to her sexiness ,and had come to terms with her accident and had moved on . she once told me that it had happened to her because she was able to accept it and that most of the other girls wouldn't have been able to saying "god doesn't give you more than you can handle " which i personally disagree with but i never bothered to tell her that. she laughed and called me a dork . which i liked because any time a girl has called me a dork or any name like that, i usually end up sleeping with her . "how about peggy ,or pipi one-stocking?" by this time we all laughed and the slight faux-pas had been forgotten.
mandy finished her drink and ordered another i made this one a bit stronger to increase my odds. everclear's song "you make me feel like a whore" came over the PA, "oooh " mandy purred/slurred "i love this song" before i could agree she had stood up and began dancing for me. she was so sexy and she added a lot of effort to be extra sexy, being a little bit dirtier than the club usually allows . she straddled me ,her back to my chest took two of my fingers, placing them in her nether region and mark interrupted us with a "that's a little too far , time for bed kids."in a fatherly tone. even at play mark was on top of his club . as she leaned into me i whispered i want to lick your stump,peggy" what was that? she asked i detected a little anger in her tone i changed it to , "i want to lick your wet ..." she smiled at me as she stood up to put on her thong , with her glorious ass in my face ,i couldn't resist..."y'all take credit cards right?" before she could say yes i ran my card down the crack of her butt as if it were a credit card machine, my boys erupted with laughter. mandy turned and slapped me across the face, hard , with a smile on hers, there's your receipt asshole. this was followed by the whole table laughing, especially the girls she pulled on her thong and walked away smiling at me in the mirror, and made her way back to mr. chaing's table. round one went to pipi one-stocking.
about an hour later mandy appeared next to me in her street clothes,she picked up my car keys and asked me if i needed someone to drive me home .absolutely, i said my good bye's quickly and followed her out the door. she drove me to her place, she shared an apartment with her boyfriend jason , who was tending bar at treasure island, a place on sixth street in down town austin ,and he "wouldn't be home til seven or eight." jason drove this super hot mustang , it was one of the fastest cars in the city . i had driven it once and had got it up to 70 in second gear. when we got in the door, i had barely shut it before she was on me like a boa constrictor. she was quite strong for a girl and was solid as a rock clothes went this way and that and we collapsed together on the bed completely naked . after having sex a couple of times she fell asleep, the ultimate compliment. i pulled the sheets off of her and examined her gorgeous body in all of its glorious nakedness . i practically broke my arm slapping myself on the back and wore the silly grin of a teenager who had just got laid for the second or third time. i examined the trail of clothes strewn about,it looked as if a drunken monkey had gotten into the hamper. then in the doorway to the bedroom i caught sight of the prosthetic leg , still in its cowgirl boot standing up in the bedroom doorway . it looked so funny sitting there , so abandoned . i started laughing to myself ,which made me laugh more because i knew that i sounded like a lunatic laughing to myself all alone with this hot one-legged stripper chic lying next to me. a distant rumble made me stop laughing quickly ,mandy shot straight up from a dead sleep."ohmyjason god'shome!quick get your shit " i ran around the house looking for my clothes which were thrown all over leading a drunken path to the door. jason's car pulled up out front, there was no way i could go out the front door without being seen .i ran to the balcony, i was three floors up! fuck what do i do? i threw my clothes to the ground and climbed over the rail and shimmied down to the bottom of the barrier and i swung back and forth to get momentum and dropped with a loud thud to the second balcony. i looked in and a frightened older mexican woman looked at me and screamed." no por favor i yelled pointing at her front door . then i pointed upstairs "espouso es aqui, en la casa! en la casa. "ahhh " she smiled and laughed. she opened the door and tsked tsked me "ay sancho" she said. sancho is the mexican slang word for the man who is sleeping with the wife. she handed me a towel and i peaked outside just as jason slammed his front door closed. as i ran to get my clothes a bunch of people clapped and whistled and commented on my daring escape. i picked up my things bowed and ran for my car and sped out of there as if the devil himself were behind me. as i got some space between me and the house , i flashed back on the boot and giggled like a maniac fresh off of his first kill.
i didn't see mandy for a couple of weeks. when i finally saw her , as she pulled in to the lot i approached the car, "hey where ya been?" a pair of boxers flew out of the car window and hit me in the face. "you left your fucking underwear in my bedroom asshole! jason took my foot and hid it! i had to order another one and they aren't cheap!" the idea of her walking around on her prosthetic limb without a foot made me laugh. "its not funny,you fucker", she whined/teased, smiling. i parked her car and carried her bags into the clubs dressing room. as i set them down and said "have a good night" and walked back outside to continue doing the best job i ever had.