Its 1.36 in the morning, and Ive got about 4 hours before the spirits go back home, and its safe to go ride my bike in the park, so here I am again. Before I begin, I'd like you to know that this page is strictly for entertainment purposes, and I would like to remind you people that you will pay for your own stupidity.

This page is on basic use of weapons, and ways on how to kill people. Now, if you know me, you'd know that I wont EVER kill anyone and that I fear the cops right? So just for you dimwits who like to deprive others of the right to live, Here you go!

Unarmed Combat

Untrained fists are weak weapons, so It is probably easier for you weaklings to use another method to choke your opponent. Clentch your fist, but leave your middle finger's lower knuckle stickin out. It should be comfortable, and the thumb should hold the fingers tight. The middle finger should also be firm. This is probably the most important part of the kill. Give a straight jab into either of three areas. Ill go for the adams apple first, since its easier to hit. NEVER NEVER swing this move, it has to be a straight jab. Thats very important. The other way is to hit the area just right where the ribs split, and where the stomach starts. Im sure theres an anatomical name for that, but I dont know what it is. Anyway, just hit in a straight and firm movement. That spot is hard to find, and thick clothing makes it harder. So just settle for the adams apple. The last would be to use the fist clentching method that I mentioned earlier, and hit the person in a side swing method in the temples.

A quick clap with both hands onto the opponents ear would cause the blood vessels to burst, causing a slow death. It's best cuz theres no mess to clean up afterwards, and whats more, Its silent, cuz the guy has no time to scream, and you dont have to look him in the eye.

Household Items

There're a million creative things one can do with household items, like bamboo poles, kitchen knives, and the occasional spoon, and about 100 times less ways to kill people with them :-) Okay, Ill start with the kitchen knife. A skillet, is a small double bladed knife, used to make sashimi or cut raw fish cleanly. After watching my mother work with that, I think It can be put into a more creative purpose. It fits nicely into anyone's socks, and most come with a nice wooden cover. While using a knife, NEVER hit as you would a sword. Maybe many of you nice people always watch movies in which the evil villain would cut through walls of human flesh, but trust me, it NEVER works. Always STAB, especially near the abdomen area. Once the knife is in, twist as you would a key. Of course, you might find it tight, just like a Virgin's You know what. Oh, and another thing, throat cuts are an extremely messy job, given the fact that blood travels so much there, so kidney jabs might be better, I wouldnt know, I havent killed anyone right?

Another wonderful household appliance is a piece is raffia string, but you have to be extremely fast and hard on this one. No, no se+ual puns here. This method of assasination is extremely cruel, and should be best avoided. Also, refrain from making decisions when youre not in ur usual state of mind, for it can cause one's immediate downfall. Make a few rounds of the raffia string around your left hand, and leave about 1/2 a metre long of string, before coiling around your right hand. Practice a few times before the actual event. If you're a right hander, do it this way. Keep your left hand behind the person, and with your right hand coil as fast as you can around the person's neck, over the head make a big loop, which should shrink as your coil lowers down the neck. Preferably, the right hand should be to the left of the left hand. Then pull quickly on both ends of the rope. It'll be bad if the guy has finger's trapped in between, cuz it'll take twice as long for him to pass out/die.

Books are an interesting thing, they can be read, burnt, and they make excellent weapons. Large hardcovers are by far the best. Hold the book with the thumb on one side of the cover, and the other 4 fingers on the opposite side. Hit the person in the head AS HARD AS YOU CAN with the lower bind area of the book, and NEVER with the cover. The force should be concentrated into as little an area possible for maximun results.

Household pets are extremely creepy, especially when someone has just died in the house. Why is the dog howling into the person's room? And why is the cat that you're curling up with meowing away, and giving you a creepy look?

I apologise for the minor irrelevance. Ive got about 3 1/2 hours more to go. Anyhow, I hope that you've enjoyed reading this page.