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i want to thank you

I can look back to some dark times in my life; times I'm not proud of. Times when I wasn't as confident as I'd like. Times I wasn't as happy as I am now. Times when my heart was broken. Times that I still needed to realize who really mattered in my life, who shouldn't matter, and who never did matter. As I look back on these hard times, one would think I would feel weak, vulnerable, or ashamed. I feel none of those things; all I feel is regret. During my weakest points, God sent me an angel. Someone who I completely trusted. Someone who was the only person who could make me smile most of my difficult days. Someone who, if he hadn't been a part of my life, I feel I may not be where I am today. He sent me you.

I was so lucky to have had you in my life. Of course, I didn't realize how much you meant to me until we started drifting apart. Whatever reason we did loose touch, the both of us being busy with college, or whatever, I regret doing so almost more than I can bear. And what I regret even more than loosing touch with you, is never taking the chance to thank you for all the wonderful things you have done for me. For a while I had locked that part of my life in a box filled with painful memories. When I opened this box, which wasn't all that long ago, not only did the bitter memories pour out, but also all the kind things you did for me, in a light that I couldn't see them before.

Every now and again, probably more than I'd like to admit, my mind starts to wonder and I start to think about you. I wonder what your life is like now, if you have changed at all these past couple years, whether you ever think of me, and most importantly, if you're happy. And I fantasize that I can tell you all these things that haunt me and throw my arms around you and thank you for everything you did for me. I wish I could look into your blue eyes and tell you everything I've been thinking about, but I don't see how it could possibly make a difference now. I've tried to talk to you again and I fear that you've pushed me away and I pray it's not because I have hurt you or anything. I just want you to know that I am truly grateful that you were once in my life and now that we've grown apart, there is a void that no one else could possibly fill. No one else could make me feel the way you did, or make me laugh the way you did. I'm not asking for a prenuptial agreement from you, but I would do anything to be on good terms as we once were. I want you to know, that deep inside my chest, I can feel my heart beating and I know that for the rest of my life, a special place in it is set aside for you alone.

this page was entirely not sarcastic enough for this website.