Here in America, we pride ourselves that our country treats all people equally, "with liberty and justice for all" as our pledge says. The foundation of our great nation is its tolerance of other beliefs, cultures, backgrounds, and lifestyles... or so we think. This isn't always the case. Over the past decade or so, one group in particular has been constantly criticized and oppressed because of its lifestyle. It faces discrimination, slander, and overall harassment and torment: the mullet lifestyle. Throughout all of history until well into the 1990's a Post-Gazette article states, "They were badges of honor and rugged, rebellious individualism" (Johnson, 2003, par. 2). But now, what once represented a warrior: a hero… now has been deduced to a representation of trash: something undesirable and ugly. As president and founder of PETM, People for the Ethical Treatment of Mullets, I believe I am indeed credible to discuss this oppression with you here today. Today I will address the mullet as a lifestyle, the horrendous treatment of this lifestyle by society, and legalities discriminating against mullets.
If you remember from my last speech, the mullet has been around for quite some time. But, the term "mullet" was not used to describe the hairstyle until recently. The word mullet originally referred to a type of fish. According to merriamwebster.com, a mullet solely means "valuable chiefly marine food fishes with elongated fins and rather stout body." How did the name for a fish turn into a hairstyle and a lifestyle? There are several theories. Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is often miscredited with originating the term because of this passage, "They're so confiding and mullet-headed they don't take notice of nothing at all." But I doubt this was referring to the hair-cut. This was most likely derived from mulet, the French word for dim. In L.A. Johnson's article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "For 'Mulletheads,' It's Not Just a Hairstyle, It's a Lifestyle," it states that some mulletians "claim that Icelandic fishmongers who fished mullet used to wear their hair short on top and long in the back to keep their necks warm" (Johnson, 2003, par. 11). If this is the case, the lifestyle generated the need for the hairstyle-- these men were living "the mullet lifestyle" in quite a few ways. Although I personally see this is the most logical explanation, currently, most mulletians point to Mike D of the Beastie Boys as the person to coin this term in the song Mullet-Head, which I shared with you at the end of my last speech. In that song, if you remember, he did not define the word to refer to just a hairstyle. Oh no. The song explains the mullet is indeed "a hairstyle that's a way of life." Craig Gilbert, author of "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?" agrees, "The Mullet is also a lifestyle. No other choice of hair manipulation so dominates a wearer's everyday interactions and societal direction -- though the Afro comes close" (2000, par. 15).
The problem with defining the mullet as a lifestyle is that, because our society is not set up in the same style as the germanic tribes or the Islandic fishmongers, the exact definition of the mullet lifestyle in today's time is rather vague. But where information and knowledge lack, we fill with stereotypes and prejudice. Many mullets face slander, stereotyping, and harassment. Many derrogatory remarks face mullets everyday: hurtful words terms "ape-drape, squirrel pelt, beaver paddle, Kentucky neck warmer, and the achy-breaky-bad-mistakey." Mullets are often stereotyped to listen to either country or rock music, have alcohol problems, wear flannels, and live in lower income homes, essentially rednecks. In the TCU Daily Skiff, a mullet-haiku reads, "It’s not a trailer./ Angry mullet man insists./ Manufactured home." This stereotyping is not only mean, but highly inaccurate. According to an article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette entitled, "For 'Mulletheads,' It's Not Just a Hairstyle, It's a Lifestyle," "The mullet knows no socioeconomic bounds and touches even the most highfalutin and exclusive echelons of haute coiffure in town" (Johnson, 2003, par. 43). Meaning, mullets go everywhere to cut their hair, from the friendly, local barber shop on the corner to the chic, expensive salon in the city.
But although these stereotypes are untrue, oppressive messages are sewn through out the media. Satirical website based on mullet humor, such as mulletsgalore.com, mulletjoe.com, and mulletjunky.com further this offensive misconception. Since most of you, when polled, said that you did not go to these websites, I will share with you a few brief examples of what they typically consist. Most of these websites spend a great deal of time categorizing different "species" of mullet, as they call it, which is actually a way to make fun many people based on differences. For example, mulletsgalore.com calls hispanic person with a mullet a "mulletino" and a mentally-challenged person a "mulletard." These websites also have lists of derrogatory terms for a mullet, and some websites have mullet poetry. All of which merely furthers this discrimination. Not only are they riddled with oppressive jokes, poems, and photographs, which reinforce these horrendous stereotypes, these websites call viewers to act as well: encouraging them to hunt mullets with cameras. Allow me to show you one particularly harsh instance from mulletsgalore.com where several teenage- early twenty year olds accosted a young man simply because of his preferred lifestyle. For one reason or another, this young man, who did not even have a full-fledged mullet, had no place to sleep one particular night, so he pulled into a seemingly vacant parking lot. These hoodlums, probably intoxicated, then swarmed his truck, took pictures of him sleeping, and began to violently shake the vehicle. They also broke into his truck in an attempt to scare him awake. They succeeded. He never said a word, only drove away to another parking lot, to which they followed him and continued to shake his vehicle, taunt him, and photograph the man. The man asked for nothing other than to be left alone to sleep. Is that so much to ask? This is what kind of terrible things happen when we have been taught to devalue and discriminate against a particular group of people. I must concede, mulletsgalore.com did suggest not mullet-hunting in the same style as these juvenile deliquents; however, the pictures and commentary were still posted, essentially rewarding them for their unethical behavior.
Speaking of unethical, what if I told you that certain state legislatures have outlawed a distant cousin of the mullet. According to one of my favorite mulletians, Dan of Dan's Mullet Haven, in the State of Missouri, it is illegal to have a rat tail. Since 1983, first time offenders are fined $100 and repeated offenders can face up to 6 months in jail. This is an outrage. No American government has the right to outlaw a hairstyle, let alone a lifestyle. Hate groups have been given more rights and priveleges! If mullets cannot enjoy their Constitutional protection, who else will be next?
Yes, it is understood that because of the first amendment, these people are allowed to say and do these sorts of things. Here in America, we have the freedom of speech, and for this I am personally grateful. But imagine if the same treatment was directed towards a different group: a website which poked fun and stereotyped different races, different sexual orientations, or different genders. Would this be deemed acceptable in most Americans eyes? Of course not! Whether you yourself care to enjoy the mullet lifestyle, you should care enough to support this cause. According to my survey, most of you in here knows someone who has a mullet. If not for the rights of those people you care about, then at least you should be offended by this oppression simply because here in America all people are supposed to be treated equally. Remember that the mullet is a lifestyle and because of this we need to accept it and appreciate it. We need to protect the Constitutional rights of mullets by ending the hateful stereotypes, the derrogatory comments, and the laws against enjoying the mullet lifestyle. I am going to give you all these stickers. This is the logo for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Mullets. On the back is the web address for our site. At the website, there are numerous things you can do, like writing the Govenor of Missouri to demand change.
http://www.merriamwebster.com
http://www.mulletsgalore.com
http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyle/20031007mullet1007fnp3.asp
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip288.htm?o=0
http://www.skiff.tcu.edu/Spring_2002/012902/mullet.html
http://personals.valleyadvocate.com/articles/mullet.html
http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/southbank/pottery/3/
