I submitted this very application to Mr. Tucker Max. He's one fine hunk of man!
Name: Lauren
Email: runaroundnekked@aol.com (I made the aol people crack up)
Age: 19
Occupation: Student at Pitt/Waitress
From: Pittsburgh
Live: same
Education: Graduated High School in 2002. Sophomore at Pitt for Marketing/Advertising.
Find the page: My friend Katie got me hooked. I frequent here, tardblog.com, boners.com, maddox.xmission.com, rotten.com, emotioneric.com, modifiedliving.com, mulletsgalore.com, and my own site (Just a little bit narcissistic, I know).
Why filling it out?: Because I believe you have a similar sense of humor, and I think we should all band together.
Why go on a date with me?: So I can have the bragging rights to say that I went on a date with Tucker Max!! ::sigh:: (enjoy the ego boost) ::rolls eyes::
When will we go out: I currently have 18 credits. I am also a teaching assistant for a psych professor and I have a job... when I'm not busy. (can you hear the sarcasm?)
How hot are you?: Self praise stinks, so I'm not going to rate myself. But, I have pictures posted on my webpage. Go and rate me yourself. (hmm, hope html works in here.)
How smart: Well, I did ride the minibus during my school days; fortunately for you it was to my gifted classes. I graduated with high honors, and I'm on the Dean's List... so "I am S-M-R-T, smart" -Homer Simpson.
Emotionally mature: Maturity?? Don't get me wrong, I can be mature when I have to be, but I don't see the any reason to be mature when I have to be. Example: Last night, after my 12 hour class day I went out to go costume shopping at Walmart with my friend. (We are going trick-or-treating on Monday, just to see if we can actually get candy.) So she and I are running amok throughout the store and we pass the hunting goods section. I find a "dove decoy." Why anyone would: 1) hunt doves and 2) even need a decoy if they were hunting doves (they aren't the sneakiest of animals), but whatever: it's a foam dove with a clothes pin glued on the bottom. So I clip the dove onto my shoulder and start talking in pirate talk. We then go to the eyecare section and get a patch. By this time I have the patch over my eye and the bird on my shoulder. My friend is holding me back because I want more than anything to go up to a sales associate, you know, one of those boobs in the blue vest that says, "How can I help you?" on the back and then get pissed off and gets you lost and confused when you do ask a question, and go, "Aye, ye scurvy matee. Can ye tell me what aisle the peg-legs be in?" But she wouldn't let me. Then, after not even five minutes of rummaging through the clothing section, we found pirate clothes. So, needless to say, we got a damn good costume put together. My friend is going to be the pirate, but only because I'm going to be a french maid.
Most defining feature: Hmm, probably one of the following... I'm 5'9" and 104 pounds. I have blonde hair past my waist. I am very loud and somewhat obnoxious. I don't care much of what people think of me. What should I bring: Enthusiasm, and maybe a bullhorn. Nevermind, I'll bring the bullhorn.
What should I wear: Clothes would be nice.
What will we do on our first date: I like being spontaneous... Surprise me.
What will we eat: Well, I'm pretty nonchalant about food except no spicy stuff... I was going to leave this blank, but I was afraid of looking like I don't eat. I do eat.. a lot. Trust me.
What will we drink: I actually don't drink, I figure if I can run around acting like a pirate in Walmart completely sober, I don't need alcohol.
How much does it take to get you drunk: I weigh 104... if I did drink, it wouldn't be much.
How will date end: Who says it has to end, let's elope.... riiiiiiiight.
Additional Information: I'll end with funny quirks about myself: I can tie shoelaces with my toes. My cell phone voicemail says as follows: I do think less of people if they don't like the Bloodhound Gang. My aim screenname is MandyWhooreXxX. I was sick of people saying I looked like Mandy Moore. I play padiddle everytime I am in a car. I'm just practicing for the day I have a car full of hot guys and we decide to play strip padiddle. I am the master procrastinator. At this very moment I should be working on a speech I give tomorrow and all reading all sorts of text books. What do they think this is, college?? I am also an attention whore, thus I think you would be perfect for me. If this submitted application doesn't scare you away, you are my hero. Best Line: "How about I sit on your lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up?" That was bad, I know, but it worked once, so why not try it again??
I like your page like my finger: index That was bad, I know.
"Ick, that was creepy. I would rather slurp rancid tuna salad out of my own ass. Or scour my boobies off with a rust S.O.S. pad. Or hump a piece of splintered balsa wood. ::giggles::"
It is Chaisey Lain saying this. I borrowed it from the Bloodhound Gang's Cd, "Hooray for Boobies."
