For some reason, may it be because the other girl who traveled with me to Hawaii enjoys the genre, or because the girl who we stayed with has a fetish for one provacative Rascal Flatts video, I ended up watching quite a few country music videos during my stay in Hawaii. Hell, we even ended up going to a country bar (I even attempted to two-step... it was interesting to say the least).

Anyhow, I never thought I'd say this, but I don't mind country music anymore, but still one thing bothers me about it: all it takes is one good catch phrase or clever aying to make a good country song. I learned this the hard way too: for the past couple years, everytime I see a clever quote in someone's aim profile, it ends up being the catch phrase of a country song: "Save a horse, ride a cowboy," "I'm a beer man," "Life's so sweet here in the passenger seat," and many others. All along, I thought these people were being creative little crafty buggers, but no, they were just quoting their little country songs and dreaming their little dreamy dreams.

So I figured, hell, anyone can write a country song-- even me, the anti-country. So, I wrote a little ditty I like to call "Whippataw!!" It is based on true events that took place during our Hawaiian Alcohol-Hunting Adventure. And it goes a little something like this:

Goin' out a-drinkin on good ol' Thirsty Thursday

Couple cases of Smirnoff, she had put a few away

She was kinda tipsy with raspberry scented breath

Reached for another bottle, only a few more were left

She was gettin' kinda rowdy

She was lookin for a brawl

She ripped her belt outta them jeans

And used it to threaten us all

[Refrain]Whippataw!!

That's the whip-crack of the belt

You cannot imagine the pain that I have felt

I came home late on Thursday & can't believe what I saw

WHIPPATAW!! [Refrain ends here]

That curly haired seductress

Twirled that belt 'round her head

Then she made a couple whip cracks

"WHIPPATAW!!" is what she said

Kaley and I ran away, but Kathleen was bein' brave

She ran up being her, a wedgie to her she gave

Kathleen ran away, from her drunken friend

This just made her angry, so she whipped that belt again

[Refrain]

Then we all started runnin'

Kaley ended up giggling on the floor

She got her butt Whippataw!!-ed so fast then Whippataw!!-ed once more

Guess that booze, it made us crazy

Made us act a little weird

So thank you, Mr Smirnoff

You raspberry flavored beer

[Refrain]

Then the party ended, time to go back to her place

I was the designated driver- just trying to be safe

I keep asking for directions, she won't hardly answer at all

She's hanging out the window, and I can still hear her call

[Refrain]