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The Goodwill Story

For my basic acting class, we had to present our scene in full costume with props, body movements, the lot. Being that my scene partner, Erin, allowed me to pick our scene, I found a delightful scene about two French prostitutes. The interesting thing about the scene was that it was written by a British person. Our characters would say things like "I thought me bleedin' toes would burst." and "Speak for your bloody self." so we were French prostitutes with British accents (Hella-cool!) Anyhow so the day before we had to give our scene, Erin and I headed out to Goodwill to get our costumes (because we are the master procrastinators!). We ran frantically around the store trying to find old-fashioned, French/British prostitute garb. I found my dress with in 20-25 minutes, but Erin had some difficulty finding a dress to, um, cover her upper-half (she's a little busty). So she's hunting the racks and grabbing dresses, I'm hunting the racks and grabbing dresses, random people are hunting the racks and giving us dresses, but no success. Quite a bit of time has passed and now I'm starting to feel ornery. The entire time we've been in the store, Erin has always been changing in the dressing room on the right, so I am pushing our cart around the store, still in costume because the dressing rooms always have people in them, like I said feeling ornery, and I walk past a big bin of donated lingerie. On top of the bin is a larger-sized one-piece teddy, obviously intended for a romantic evening. I giggle like a school-child. I quickly grab the piece and put it in our cart. Then I hurry over to the dressing room on the right. I hurl the piece over the door, intending to make Erin crack up. I hear dead silence. I start to wonder why she hasn't said anything and then it occurs to me: SHE'S IN THE DRESSING ROOM ON THE LEFT THIS TIME! I fly like hell over to the other side of the store and pretend to be looking at toys, hats, I don't remember, something. Then Erin opens the door. "Lauren, I'm going with this dress." I start whispering, as quiet as possible because the person is still right next to us, "ERIN, we have got to get the hell out of here." "What Lauren? I can't here you? Speak up!" "I'll tell you in a second." I shut the door and change as fast as I possibly can. I grab Erin and run to the shoe section. I tell her what happened and we both keep peeking over to the dressing room to see who comes out. I was a MOTHER and her LITTLE BOY! I suck at life. I am such a loser.

i shouldn't be allowed in public