I've realized that being a boyfriend is an important job. A guy has to
be dedicated 100%. It takes commitment: time, effort, and even monetary, for a relationship to
last. But the pay is good. Boyfriends get paid in all different kinds of affection. And if a
guy is a good boyfriend, he's pretty sure to get a nice fat Christmas bonus. But bad boyfriends
should get fired, and most of the time, they don't. I blame two facts for that: girls are stupid
(::sigh:: myself included) and love is blind. I say why not just write it all out: have interested
guys fill out an application. If they look good and they sound good, then call them in for an
interview, or two, or three. Only then should they have a chance with girls as great and as
wonderful (and as modest) as we are. I've generated what a basic application should look like:
Name:____________
Date:____________
Are you capable of fulfilling these requirements? Yes/No
If yes: explain (and it better be good, asshole)____________________________________________.
Do you obtain and/or use illegal drugs? Yes/No
If yes, explain:___________________________(Illegal drug usage may or may not affect hiring... yeah right!)
Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes/No
How regularly do you drink?_______________________
Name | Dates involved From: | To: | Phone Number | Depth of Relationship(e.g. fling, love, causal, etc) | Reasons For Break Up | May We Contact Her? |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
_______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | Yes/No |
_______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | Yes/No |
_______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | _______ | Yes/No |
Explain any gaps in relationships (e.g. moping, having a dry spell, pining away for some girl that didn't want you, joining a monestary):
______________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________
Name:______________________________________________________________
Telephone Number:______________________________________________________
How Does This Person Know You:________________________________________
Name:______________________________________________________________
Telephone Number:______________________________________________________
How Does This Person Know You:________________________________________
Name:______________________________________________________________
Telephone Number:______________________________________________________
How Does This Person Know You:________________________________________
For some BiZzaRe reason, I'm interested in filling this out and emailing it to you.