"Not everything that can
be counted counts, and not everything that counts can
be counted."
-
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"A lie gets halfway
around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I do not feel obliged
to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
-
Galileo Galilei
"The artist is nothing
without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."
-
Emile Zola (1840-1902)
"In theory, there is no
difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
-
Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
"I find that the harder
I work, the more luck I seem to have."
-
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
"In the End, we will
remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"Whether you think that
you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
-
Henry Ford (1863-1947)
"Do, or do not. There is
no 'try'."
-
Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
"I don't know why we are
here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
-
Ludwig
Wittgenstein (1889-1951)
"If you can't get rid of
the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
-
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"But at my back I always
hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."
-
Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)
"Good people do not need
laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around
the laws."
-
Plato (427-347 B.C.)
"Whenever I climb I am
followed by a dog called 'Ego'."
-
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"We have art to save
ourselves from the truth."
-
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Never interrupt your
enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon
Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Talent does what it
can; genius does what it must."
-
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
"The difference between
'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken
was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."
- unknown
"If you are going
through hell, keep going."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I'm all in favor of
keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters."
-
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"God is a comedian
playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
-
Voltaire (1694-1778)
"He is one of those
people who would be enormously improved by death."
- H.
H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"I am ready to meet my
Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is
another matter."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I shall not waste my
days in trying to prolong them."
-
Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
"Facts are the enemy of
truth."
-
Don Quixote - "Man of
"When you do the common
things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the
world."
-
George Washington Carver (1864-1943)
"I have not failed. I've
just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
-
Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
"Maybe this world is another
planet's Hell."
- Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
"I've had a wonderful
time, but this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)
"It's kind of fun to do
the impossible."
-
Walt Disney (1901-1966)
"We didn't lose the
game; we just ran out of time."
- Vince
Lombardi
"The optimist proclaims
that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this
is true."
-
James Branch Cabell
"All are lunatics, but
he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
-
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"I have come to believe
that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by
our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
-
Umberto Eco
"Be nice to people on
your way up because you meet them on your way down."
-
Jimmy Durante
"The true measure of a
man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
-
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
"A
people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses
both."
-
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address,
"The significant
problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them."
-
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"All truth passes
through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
-
Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
"Many a man's reputation
would not know his character if they met on the street."
-
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
"There is more stupidity
than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer
shelf life."
-
Frank Zappa
"Life is pleasant. Death
is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
-
Isaac Asimov
"If you want to make an
apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
-
Carl Sagan
"It is much more
comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G.
B. Burgin
"Knowledge speaks, but
wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix
"Argue for your
limitations, and sure enough they're yours."
-
Richard Bach
"A witty saying proves
nothing."
-
Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Education is a
progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
-
Will Durant
"If everything seems
under control, you're just not going fast enough."
-
Mario Andretti
"I do not consider it an
insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism
means."
-
Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.
"Obstacles are those
frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
-
Henry Ford (1863-1947)
"Success usually comes
to those who are too busy to be looking for it"
-
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"God, please save me
from your followers!"
-
Bumper Sticker
"Fill what's empty,
empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a
long and happy life
"Tragedy is when I cut
my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
-
Mel Brooks
(
"Most people would
sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
-
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Wit is educated
insolence."
-
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"It has become
appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
-
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"The secret of success
is to know something nobody else knows."
-
Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
"When you have to kill a
man, it costs nothing to be polite."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"When I am working on a
problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it
is wrong."
-
Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)
"In science one tries to
tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no
one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
-
Paul Dirac (1902-1984)
"I would have made a
good Pope."
-
Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)
"In
any contest between power and patience, bet on patience."
-
W.B. Prescott
"Reality is merely an
illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
-
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"One of the symptoms of
an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly
important."
-
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Make everything as simple
as possible, but not simpler."
-
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"
-
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"A doctor can bury his
mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."
-
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"It is dangerous to be
sincere unless you are also stupid."
-
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"A man can't be too
careful in the choice of his enemies."
-
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Logic is in the eye of
the logician."
-
Gloria Steinem
"In the end, everything
is a gag."
-
Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"You got to be careful
if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
-
Yogi Berra
"He who hesitates is a
damned fool."
- Mae
West (1892-1980)
"The graveyards are full
of indispensable men."
-
Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)
"You can pretend to be
serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
"If women didn't exist,
all the money in the world would have no meaning."
-
Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
"I am not young enough
to know everything."
-
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
The object of war is not to
die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-
General George Patton (1885-1945)
"I have an existential
map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
-
Steven Wright
"Anything that is too
stupid to be spoken is sung."
-
Voltaire (1694-1778)
"When choosing between
two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
-
Mae West (1892-1980)
"I don't know anything
about music. In my line you don't have to."
-
Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
"Hell is a half-filled
auditorium."
-
Robert Frost (1874-1963)
"Show me a sane man and
I will cure him for you."
-
Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"If I were two-faced,
would I be wearing this one?"
-
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
"I am become death, shatterer of worlds."
-
Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad
Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion)
"Happiness is good
health and a bad memory."
-
Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)
"You can get more with a
kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al
Capone (1899-1947)
"The gods too are fond
of a joke."
-
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Distrust any enterprise
that requires new clothes."
-
Henry David
Thoreau (1817-1862)
"I have never let my
schooling interfere with my education."
-
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"It is now possible for
a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant."
-
Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines
"I don't want to achieve
immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not
dying."
-
Woody Allen (1935-)
"Always do right- this
will gratify some and astonish the rest."
- Mark
Twain (1835-1910)
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
-
Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
"Criticism is prejudice
made plausible."
-
Henry Louis
Mencken (1880-1956)
"Opportunities multiply
as they are seized."
-
Sun Tzu
" The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
-
Alan Kay
"Hell is paved with good
samaritans."
-
William M. Holden
"Well done is better
than well said."
-
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
"The average person
thinks he isn't."
-
Father Larry Lorenzoni
"The man who goes alone
can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is
ready."
-
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"A pessimist sees the
difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"The only thing
necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
-
Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
"The concept is
interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea
must be feasible."
- A
Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper
proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal
Express Corp.)
"After I'm dead I'd
rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
-
Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)
"The right to swing my
fist ends where the other man's nose begins."
-
Oliver Wendell
Holmes (1841-1935).
"The
difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
-
Tom Clancy
"It's not the size of
the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in
the dog."
-
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"It is better to be
feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"
"He has all the virtues
I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"Love is friendship set
on fire."
-
Jeremy Taylor
"God gave men both a
penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the
same time."
-
Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair
"Every normal man must
be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin
slitting throats."
-
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"Now, now my good man,
this is no time for making enemies."
-
Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he
renounce Satan.
"He would make a lovely
corpse."
-
Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
"A poem is never
finished, only abandoned."
-
Paul Valery (1871-1945)
"We are not retreating -
we are advancing in another Direction."
-
General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
Philosophers on Philosophers
"Attention to health is
life's greatest hindrance."
-
Plato (427-347 B.C.)
"Plato was a bore."
-
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Nietzsche was stupid
and abnormal."
-
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
"I'm not going to get
into the ring with Tolstoy."
-
Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
"Hemingway was a
jerk."
-
Harold Robbins
"Men are not disturbed
by things, but the view they take of things."
- Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)
"What about things like
bullets?"
-
Herb Kimmel, Behavioralist, Professor of Psychology,
upon hearing the above quote (1981)
Computer Quotes
"The use of COBOL
cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal
offense."
- Edsgar Dijkstra
"C makes it easy to
shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away
your whole leg."
- Bjarne Stroustrup
"A mathematician is a
device for turning coffee into theorems."
-
Paul Erdos
"Black holes are where
God divided by zero."
-
Steven Wright
"There are two ways of
constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are
obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that
there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more
difficult."
- C.
A. R. Hoare
"There is no reason
anyone would want a computer in their home."
-
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"If you were plowing a
field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024
chickens?"
-
Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing
"#3
pencils and quadrille pads."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when asked what CAD tools he used
to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back side of
the pages so that the lines were not so dominant.
"I just bought a Mac to
help me design the next Cray."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when was informed that Apple Inc.
had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
"The man who does not
read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."
-
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Research is what I'm
doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)
"There are only two
tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting
it."
-
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)