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Word of the day: fartancherworteminity
This is an operation performed in very serious cases where the victim has tried to fart inwards. The operation involves inserting a flame into the patients fart hole. The survival rate is about 2%

<4th March>
Soon very soon something good is going to happen, more on that later. But for now you can laugh at my maths homework i gave in yesterday.

<22nd February>
Im back again. Not that its very likey you noticed i wasnt here but i went skiing to the land of clocks and army knives. I have loads of photos of stupid things i did but been as i survived them all you probably dont realy want to see them.
Er not much else realy ill probably put something interesting up either tommorow or tuesday but i need to get some photos and sounds first. Also i found this thing called google whacking where you put two random words in google and try to get only one result. its fun for about 2 seconds but if you are allready reading this you probably have very little to do anyway. so far i found that "gurple insomnia" works.

<12th February>
Phsyco Dave made this wonderful little flash file i realy think it sums up just what Andy is thinking. to make it work turn up your speakers and move the mouse over it

<7th February>
i fixed that thing where all the links open in a new window thanks to dave, and im working on my latest thing, "oleg box warrior" its a tribute to mad max, transformers and everyones favorite russian friend, oleg. Possibly if your realy luck phsyco dave will make a game where oleg box warrior fights something or other, if not youll have to make do with my crappy photoshops and lame articles that are only mildley funny because they are so offensive. hopefully tommorw should provide some interesting photos, come back on monday and see if i am sober enough to post them.

<9th january> you have o excuse my spelling today inmn a little drunk still from last night and im bruised allover from falling anthe floor so much, i didnt actually get any pictures becqause i fogot my camera so ill have to se if i can get somenonelses. i dod however conduct a very impotent scientific research, and i found that it is possible to drink a whole bottle of jack daniels and not dies,a mazingly no hangover yet but i thnk im still drunk which is a pain cos it means i cant sdrive to school.

<6th febuary>
i would wish colin a happy birthday but he is allergic to the ineternet so i wont bother.

<4th Febuary>
Wow i actually have some real content, i just finsihed my in depth phillisophical study on weather god has nipples, i got the idea at lunch when max and alli somewho brought it up. Also i have some words that can provide valuable guidance in life from the one and thankfuly only ken.

<3rd Febuary>
It looks like steve isnt writing this article after all, but then again he is very busy doing absolutely sod all.

<24th January>
i got rid of that stupid popup, and i saw steve working on his article today, he had taken some eveidence from oleg to do some research. Steve had planed to stash the evidence in the loft he found above his form room, but our only lead on the subject of communism, oleg, managed to retrive the item before steve could get away with it. I know it looks very much like steve is been a bully but he is only 4 ft something so its hardly fair to assume he could intimidate anyone. Anyway it dont look like steve actually plans on doing this article at all so if you want to write some pointles and stupid things you can send them to me, just make sure they are in notepad format.

<23rd january>
Wohooo! exams are over. Im redoing the pages in an html editor rather than that anglefire thing so it should fix that annoying thnig where it opens all links in a new window. Also rent a steve has agreed to write an article for me, he'll probably never do it but keep your hopes up anyway. Steve is doing a history a level so i thought it would be apropriate for him to write an article caled, "communism for idiots". i get the feeling it might be a bit contraversial and will probably contain harsh refeneces to our rusian friend oleg (aka the vandal). If he doesnt write this i supose ill have to do one and i cant even be arsed to think of a title for it so could be a while yet.

<20th january>
I havent updated for the last few days because i was abducted by a pack of wolves. its all very interesting but im sure you dont care much about it. not for you sort of people realy you wouldnt like it...

<16th January> The only reason im posting an update today is because if i dont my many many fans will stop coming to my site, (Yea right) nothing actually happened today, i had an exam yadey ya, im bored and i want my life back, DAMN YOU EXAM BORDS!!! it wasnt a particually exciting life but it was mine and i liked it, but now these stuck up exam bords think poeple enjoy taking exams every few months and it improves their results by examining them on something they are rushing to finish leanring before the exams start. Well ive got some news for you exam boards and rubbish government. THE SYSTEM DOESNT WORK!!! unless its a system designed to punish us for something we havent done yet because we had so many stupid exams we cant even cause trouble. Or perhaps they think students will be happy to study another as level which universities will just laugh at and which counts for less than bugger all. Well thats my rant done for today. if you care at all please send some letters to the english goverment and all exam bords letting them know how stupid they are.

<15th january> He He He i spent the day studing...
... studing mtv2, while everyone else went to work and school. whos the smart guy now eh? im watching tv while you suckers out wasting you lives getting an education and earning money. On a lighter note my arms went all tingley today and i thought they might fall off or something, but then i swang them around a bit and i felt all better. I didnt leave my house today so no interesting story im afraid, unless you want to hear about my epic adventure to find my pen.
I lost it. then i found it under the cussion on the sofa.
Ok its not exactly a novel standard story but i cant be bothered ill just go off on a tangent and youll forget all about it. Wasnt much in the news today but somehow they manage to make their stupid , so called lunch time news last forever. im onto their secret though they just talk about the same stuff over and over agian. i mean whats the point in 24 hour news just buy a video recorder, tape the news and watch it a million times. there is no need to pay for costly sky televison just tape everything and watch it a lot, everything on sky is reruns anyway, or its allready been shown in america, in which case you can get it off the internet if you can be arsed. If you cant afford tv or video recorder you probably cant afford a pc anyway and so are unlikely to read this but what the hell you might have a free internet caffee near you in which case dont use it, people there steal your msn adress and add you to their lists and wont leave you alone but you cant block them becsause every time you remeber to do it you forget who they are because everyone has stupid names on msn. wow i think i went off on a pretty impressive tangent there, hopefully leaving you dazed and confused, much like a dream i had this morning about been dead. wow that was weird , but anway you are probably trying to get the hell out of here now so just click the Link and you will be ok. If you are still reading this you obviously didnt click the link which i seriously sugest you do...

...go on what are you waiting for im not going anywhere.

are you still here? get lost allready!

<14th january> Today is tomorow from yesterday but i didnt skip my exam and how i wish i had. i was half way through the exam everything going well and then this little guy jumps onto my desk,

And then the fire squiril starts telling me to burn things. So i hit him and hit hit him again and again. then my desk broke and i got expeled and they tore up all my exams. so then i drove home but i got stuck behind this big lorry and then more lorries came from behind me and they tried to crush me. Thinking quickly i took the crook lock off the back seat and hurled it out the window while i steared with my feet. It hit the big lorry drive right in the face and he flew out the window and rolled down the road as his lorry jacknifed and fell into a ditch erupting into a firey blaze. The lorry infront of me had seen this so it slamed on its brakes in an attempt to crush me underneath it. But i was still hanging out the window so i jumped out the car just beore it went under the lory and i laned safely on the roof of the lorry. The driver thinking the job was done drove off and i started to climb towards the front of the lorry. when i got to the cab at the front i swung down infront of the window and kicked it straight out. the driver was knoced unconsious, the lorry started swerving then it lost control as it jacknifed and fell into a ditch erupting into a firey blaze. As this was happening i jumped to saftey landing in the passenger seat of my spare convertable which had been driving itself. The the convertable roared off into the distance and i got home in time for some food...

...Then i woke up and everything was normal again.

Its Snowing!!! weeeeeeee!

<13 january> Meh...

Today startling new evidence was uncovered: i noticed that if you watch mtv2 all day they put it on a loop of about two hours, then they get board and let veiwers decide what to watch when they come home from school.
As you have probably worked out this meant i didnt go to school today because it thought it would be more vaulable to my education to conduct such an insigthful study.
Mabey Tomorow ill skip my maths exam and find out how the get penuts inside the shells.

<12th January 2004> this isnt realy much of an update but i figure if i add one of these every day soon ill have a webpage. Im trying to make a forum but right now its not going to well and i probably should be revising as i have a maths a level this afternoon.

pm - well that was a fun exam only 5 more to go weheeeeeeee!
ok i have a guestbook thing working now, i still dont have a forum but you can use that instead, until i figure out how this internet thing works. woooo i have a forum but no one to use it, so its mostly a waste but what the hell, also i put some pictures in the gallery. keep checking up on the site i have exams now so ill need something to do when i should be revising.

<11th january 2004> Im bored and im fed up with revison so i thought id make a webpage so i can waste my time and yours. if you dont like my grammer or spelling, try to read the page with your eyes closed then you wont notice the fact that i cant spell and/or dont care. right now this site has absolutely no contenet but i was thinking of filling it with some rambaling.


If you have some interesitng things you want me to put on the site such as stories or pictures you drew (dont bother if you just drew a picture of you next to your house, and dont think you can make it better by adding a tree.) you can email me at but keep the files small or i wont be able to open them. Also if you want to correct my spelling dont, its going to get a lot worse every time you complain.